Don't Over Think Your Identity

Today my heart is heavy! My Seahawks lost the Superbowl. They had a great season. It was a good game! The last play of the game the Seahawks could have won it. Play called was a pass that was intercepted... So sad to lose the game. The Seattle Seahawks run the ball with Marshawn Lynch, that is what our identity is. Lynch had a great game running the ball. Beast Mode carries the Seahawks on his back, sometimes literally. My facebook post was "worst call ever" which I think I still believe. However, we play as a team. Marshawn does a lot for our team but even he would tell you he is not all the Seahawks have. We have great receivers as well and a great quarterback. If that play had gone the other way, we would say what a great call! The box was stacked with nine defenders ready to protect the End zone from the Beast Mode or Russell Wilson from the TD run! So it may have been a good call, you don't want them to leave the Patriots and Tom Brady time to mount a drive for a comeback. It is a head scratcher! 

Why didn't they do what we do? The Seahawks run the ball, we are a running team. Never change you for anything! We are a running team, we run the ball! But we do have Russell Wilson he is a good and a lot of great receivers! There are a lot of conspiracy theory's of why they didn't run. I have the benefit of having a coach in the house and as the Hubs said, as a coach that was not a bad call. If Lockette went harder for that ball he would have go another chance whether it be a PI call or he toughed it out so that Butler couldn't catch that ball... The Hubs was the first to say if he caught that ball we would be saying the exact opposite what a great call for the win, they caught the Pats off guard they weren't ready for it...but they were and we didn't score we turned the ball over. Then we still had a chance Tom Brady was poised to kneel down in the End Zone to give the Seahawks a safety then we could have got the ball back and possibly kicked a field goal for the win after a quick return of the drop kick that follows a Safety, but we jumped off sides to give the Pats 5 yards and steal the victory out of our own hands, once again! We lost the game.

They played a great game a great season. We kind of lost our identity there at the end but we play as a team! We win as a team and we lose as a team. The whole organization knows that. Richard Sherman said "we put ourselves in a spot where we could win the game, you can't ask for more than that" We cam up short. Pete Carroll took the blame. His words were "it was my fault" The Offensive Coordinator Derrell Bevell, the guy who actually calls the plays, Pete Carroll and Tom Cable also approve them but Bevell calls the plays. Bevell said in an interview (paraphrasing here) "Richardo Lockette should have tried harder to catch the ball." Are you Fucking kidding me Bevell? You're going to blame the guy on the field who got laid out in your stupid play call. Where is your team effort and your responsibility? You don't call out your players like that. You do what Pete did, it was my fault or you defend your call, you don't call out Lockette! I am not a fan of Bevell, haven't been for a while (Percy Harvin Jet Sweep calls ect) but that solidified my opinion of him! I can get on board with that call there were 9 men in the box and Lynch is 1 for 5 for scoring a TD run at the 1 yard line, so in theory a pass play may have been an alright call. Execution is key in that moment. But I want to win and we didn't so that opens up the questioning. Questioning the play call not the players.

Someone has to lose, something has always got to give! I am a sad fan and may not be making sense. It is hard to make sense of this for us die hards who just watched our team lose. Football represents more than just a game! There is so much metaphor in the game! I want to focus on this: Always do YOU! Seahawks identity is running the ball, but we also have great receivers and a good passing game. The Seahawks coaches over thought that play. How many times in life do we over-think and go outside of ourselves and our normal "identity" and we throw a proverbial interception in our lives. We forget an important piece and end up dropping the ball! This is really the story of my life. I have so many great plans, such drive and desire to do the right thing and then at the last minute plans get changed or something gets forgotten. Bottom line I drop the ball and the Hubs comes home with the house blown up in disaster! The kids arrive late for their practice or and important event or that important piece of paperwork is on the table. Sometimes I get so caught up I will read information wrong and truly mean to do the right thing and make plans to do so but I am doing it at the wrong time or the wrong day... Game planning is awesome and necessary but execution and following your true identity has to couple together with that game plan and a few stars also have to align for it to all go as planned! In life and football! We judge ourselves by our intentions but others judge us by our execution.

This 2nd place finish is sad. I was celebrating a 2nd place finish with my son's team after they lost the championship, they lost their identity on the field but came back strong and fell just short of an amazing come back! It is much easier when you are trying to teach young boys that there is life after a loss. The Seahawks 2nd place seems harder to take. I can step back and see we had an amazing season we have a great team and are poised to continue and be in the Superbowl next year too, but today...2nd place sucks! Don't lose sight of the how hard it is to be 2nd. In high school my drill team placed 2nd at Nationals, we couldn't have been more proud we had a great performance. The Hubs' Football team lost the State Championship game (won their League went undefeated that year) and I was proud of his team, The Boy's team was 2nd and my mommy heart welled up with pride. The Girl got 2nd place overall at Nationals for her solo this last year (1st in her category) The Ducks lost in the National Championship Game but were Pac 10 Champs and the Seahawks lost this Superbowl but are NFC Champs! Great seasons, great teams, great players and great coaches. It is not all about that final win or loss! It is a bout the journey and drive to come back stronger and better next time! 

Never give up and never discredit how hard you worked to get where you are! Always aim high, Shoot for the Moon even if you miss, you will still land among the stars! You may not get that trophy but you SHOULD be proud of your effort! Can't win them all. Gotta go back and play strong next year, or tomorrow or when ever you need to shine next. It's all about that action Boss! Go Seahawks!

Sex Love and Washing Clothes going strong in 2015 I am loving blogging everyday, having sex everyday and my house is getting attention everyday. I hope you are enjoying my blog and continue to read about my year. Feel free to share it with your friends on you favorite social media and leave comments. Who is joining me in Sex Love and Washing Clothes this year? Let me hear how you are doing feel free to email me or leave comments here!

#Everyday2015

Super Bowl Sunday!

It is Superbowl Sunday!!! The Seahawks are prepared The 12s are prepared! The Girl and I have glittered up our Seahawks make up and added tiaras today! It is a perfect day to wear a crown! I do have a Hat that my MIL made for me that has been my lucky hat standing by. I will be putting it on later around game time or just after kick off!

Today is a family day, a friend day, a day of celebration. A day to leave the diets,stress and drama outside and enjoy some yummy foods and drinks and a great game and a great show. Jello Shots are a tradition here, a good friend of mine started the tradition a few years ago and now she lives in Vegas so I continue to make them. I am tearing up at the thought of the amazingness that today is for the team and for the 12s!

Always Compete! I'm In! We all we got! We all we need! 12 Life!

I am a fan looking forward to the opportunity for my team to raise that Lombardi trophy once again I am so excited! Sex Love and Washing Clothes is not so much a focus for me today, no deep thoughts or motivations today, just celebrations! We have had our good luck sex, I will start some laundry and I will be with many that I love today!

Here are my words of wisdom today: Be in the moment! Don't be afraid to break out the Glitter and be flashy! Make memories in this glorious day given to you. Let's go Hawks! use your Seahawks voice! I bet you all will be hearing a lot of 12s today! I am so happy and over joyed and excited!

And nervous!

I hope one day you all have the opportunity to see your team go to the Superbowl! I am going to enjoy today. I can't hold back my smile and sometimes tears of joy! Go hang with your family, have some drinks and yummy food and love those around you! It is like Christmas only more versatile! Have a great day folks!

Love
#Everyday2015 #GoHawks

Enjoy This Moment!

Today is the day before Super Bowl 49! I saw a picture a friend who is there posted and it was a sea of 12s! A 12 is a loyal Seahawks fan, loud and proud. The 12th Man helping the team win. We are loyal to our team and we are loud! It is kind of a perfect science being a 12, Paul Allen created our stadium for the 12s to maximize the volume but as a 12 the science is being loud as loud as you can, you have to make your voice last until the end of the game. It is knowing when to be loud, loud on defense quiet on offense. University of Phoenix Stadium is going to be loud! Go Hawks!

How loyal are you to your team? I got chills, goose bumps and tears (I am always really emotional) when I saw all the 12s in AZ! Win or lose I am a true 12 a fan! I am raising 2 more true 12s as well! I am connected to this team and have used the Seahawks team and their philosophies to motivate my kids and myself! This team, this game is a big thing in life, speaks to me on so many levels. I am sort of a crazy super fan. I get motivation, relief from stress, happiness and joy from the Seahawks football team. I get a family day tomorrow with my husband kids and one of my favorite girl friends and her family tomorrow because of it! I am so thankful for that!

This morning the Girl and I made two Seahawks themed cakes for a fundraiser Auction for her dance team (Seahawks are really infused in our lives). The Boy and Hubs were at baseball tryouts and now we are watching Superbowl coverage for tomorrows game! So excited for our team they deserve a great win! Superbowl Sunday really should be a national holiday! It is more versatile than any other holiday we nationally recognize. We will be glued to the TV and love every second of it! Use your Seahawks voice a lot it will be 8 months until you get to do it again!What is your ritual for good luck our is Good Luck Sex, of course it is right?  No pre-game pep talk needed! We will be having our Superbowl good luck sex and enjoy it and we will use our Seahawks voices, maybe Grandma will take the kids tonight.... Go get you some!

I am going to help the Girl curl her hair for a performance can't wait to watch her dance tonight! (I am a true 12 when watching her dance to, she is so good.) What a great two days I get. I am going to stay in and enjoy this moment!

#GoHawks 

#Everyday2015

Smells Like Procrastination

It is Super Bowl Blue Friday! It is the day before the day before The Super Bowl! My kids are decked out in their Blue Friday garb and we in the family are all in! I am so excited! I am also nervous but the nerves are getting overtaken with excitement. Which makes me scared! All the games I am nervous at we win.

It's time for the grind to payoff for the Seahawks.  For me it's time to grind too. Does anyone else do this on Fridays, you feel like it is time to grind out and clean the house. (Not that it ever gets done though.) I want to get in a get it spotless so that the Hubs can come home and be relaxed walking into a nice clean house, pretty wife quiet kids playing happily together...oh wait, I think that is an episode of Leave It To Beaver... But really I do want that to happen. Unfortunately I didn't get the house wife gene. I didn't get the drive to get up and clean, I got the drive to write about how inadequate I feel because I didn't get that gene. I got the gene to create fun and cute homemade and hand decorated cakes for birthdays and parties. I got the gene that says Fridays are for putting your feet up and going to lunch with your girlfriends. Basically got the gene that most of the time looks like sounds like and smells like procrastination. I am not proud of that but I do think that even with my procrastination gene I am a valuable member of this family and have a lot to contribute to this world. But I feel like it makes me less of a good mom, less of a good wife and not a role model worthy of writing a blog about Sex Love and Washing Clothes.

With that being said, I do write a blog titled Sex Love and Washing Clothes. I don't know how to write code or how to even get followers of my blog other than posting on Facebook and other social media outlets that my current real life friends read and laugh at and I am sure some have unfriended me and don't follow because I use words like Fuck It and talk about having sex with my husband as a way to make up for my inadequacies when it comes to house cleaning and procrastinating! I also write about having sex with my husband because it is fun. Maybe I write so that jaws will drop and the innocent straight laced good girl you once knew has sex and likes it, a lot! And we all know how mundane house keeping can be. With kids from the time when they are in diapers to preteens/tweens (what is the proper word for 9 and 10 now I am just too old to know) each milestone comes with a celebration and a harsh reality that it is a new challenge. Some milestones/stages are more time consuming, labor intensive and less expensive (actually nothing is less expensive things keep getting more expensive) but they are all challenging and we moms will always wonder if we are making the right decision.

Yesterday I shared a photo on Facebook (follow my Facebook page Sex Love and Washing Clothes) was a triangle on each point was one thing: Sanity, Happy kids, Clean House...you probably could say Happy family instead of kids. But it seems true and even sometimes it seems like there is only one option. A mom runs the family and, at least in this family, if I am stressed out that stresses out everyone else. If Hubs is stressed out it stresses me out but I feel like I have to hold it together for him because I do. I think, he has much more reasons to be stressed. After all he is the provider. If anything happened that made it so he couldn't provide he must think about that "what the fuck would my family do if I got hurt or lost my job?" That has got to be a load on his mind, so for me the stress of the kids not being able to go to the cool kids sleepover is not that big of a deal in the "big picture" but being the mom your heart hurts for your kids and you try to do both. Help the hubs and let the kids have their thing and clean your house and stay sane. But in reality, again....you or them cannot have it all!!!! That reality is a hard one to swallow.

Do you ever feel like you must choose who to make happy? That is a harsh way to say it, please don't get offended by this folks. And don't give me the you always have to take your kids side. Strong well grounded adults are grown from kids who don't always get there way and who realize there are sacrifices to be made in life. You cannot always fix things with ice cream and cookies. Sometimes you just have to be sad! Those are the days I choose to drink my water in a pretty wine glass! Even though I would love to fix my sadness with wine or chocolate (see yesterdays post about that) Sometimes I just have to decide somethings gotta give. Everyone has to make those decisions!

How did Super Bowl Blue Friday post digress to this! Here's my correlation, Russell Wilson is a Super Bowl winning Quarter Back in his 3rd year in the league. Many of the players from that winning team last year went late in the draft or were not selected in the draft, even Marshawn Lynch was rejected (sort of) from Buffalo they didn't want him and many people criticized the Seahawks for getting him with his broken leg injury and all. These players had to make sacrifices. It may be easy for all of us normal people, living paycheck to paycheck watching our fun money go to dance classes and sports cleats instead of weekends away with our lovers, to say that it is easy for them to make these sacrifices but bottom line is....they still have to make them. Many of these players spend their whole lives on the VMAC Campus. Watching Films, working out practicing. They sacrifice their family time, their lives for football, a game. Yes their jobs but it is still sacrifice the same way The Hubs sacrifices his time and his life for providing for this family, coaching athletics for The Boy and paying for the Girl (and me) to do dance. It is a choice that I know my husband is proud of, it is not glamorous but one day (he may not know it yet) he will look back and be proud that he did it. Only the toughest get to the Super Bowl. The Seahawks have put in the work. They have not seen their families as much as they could have. I bet many have decided to not start families or have an agreement with their family that time together will come after football. My point is we all have choices to make right now in the thick of it, grinding out every week it may suck but that win, which for us looks much less glamorous . It may be graduation day or may be watching our kids hoist the Lombardi trophy or maybe a less known trophy even a 2nd place Trophy, or get a scholarship or a big Little League win. That is when it will be worth it!

So keep grinding folks. We have Super Bowl moments everyday. I can't tell you how proud I am of my son when he gets a first down, or even just gets to touch the ball, and of my husband when his team "Does it" Whatever "it" may be. Sometimes the win is the First Down, depending on the team and the players. Truth is we don't coach a lot of Superbowl winners at the Pee Wee level but we celebrate their greatness. I sit here with tears in eyes of pride of how my husband in his first football season wrangled a group of 6-7 year olds their first season of tackle football and they actually knew the game! He not only taught those kids how to play and trust each-other he had to teach the parents how to trust him and that came in him doing what he does and trusting himself. The kids knew their roles on the football field he had faith in those kids. He sacrificed his golf night (as he has ever since) and his guy time playing pool with the boys. I probably shouldn't say this and I may get in trouble but I can tell that lately those sacrifices are wearing on him but what does he do....he goes out every season and does it again. I know one day he will sit back and be able to see his grind paid off and those were his Superbowl winning moments. He will not sit back and say "man I miss those golf nights, too bad" as much as he will be proud of the kids he has molded (both ours and those he coaches). He will remember big plays, but mostly I hope he remembers those moments of first time he got guys on his team to see their full potential. I know he will watch with pride as kids he coached first get their letters of acceptance or even sign commitments to colleges and some will scholarship and maybe just maybe he will see one of his athletes make it big! But that is not why he does it. He loves it and is incapable of not teaching these kids to reach their full potential by always doing their best, he does that by he himself putting 100% plus some into it. I am sure it is just like many of the Seahawks, Russell Wilson, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and Marshawn Lynch, to name a few, they don't know how not to do their best and put 100% plus some into everything they commit to! So, he will get up and go to work early so he can come home early enough work with the Boy getting ready for try outs, yes he will complain, but he will do it and that makes him a good dad and a good coach.

I will stop taking it personal and I will let him bitch, just like he lets me bitch about not being able to eat as much chocolate as I want. I need a way to learn to communicate that I understand him. Today, I will go clean this house so that he doesn't come home to chaos (well in the form of clutter scattered around the house Chaos is my middle name I think). He has said to me that coming home to a clean house helps to feel less chaotic. I know it is not my responsibility to manage my husbands or anyone else's emotions, but as a mom and wife I am sure you understand how we take all this on, maybe you can't that is just me. I choose to sacrifice my brain function to focus on this messiness and then I get to play (Super Bowl Cake decorating tonight). I will go make my sacrifice today, then later.....maybe a little mini vacation in the bedroom (since a real one is kind of out of the question right now) which will be much nicer to set the mood with less clutter! I am going to take a moment to take care of my husband as I know he is needing it. I appreciate all he does for this family and i know he appreciates my. Dear Hubs, I love you! You have done so much for me and that allows me to be the kind of wife I am for you. You have said I am the best thing that has happened to you and I want you to know I can only be as good as I am because I have you right behind me helping me and supporting me though! I love you with all my heart and I pray that you don't get upset at me for exposing you here today! I am so proud of all you do and I am happy you are on my team!!! ~Love Me.

#Everyday2015
#GoHawks

Turnover Thursday, Take Control!

Happy Blue Thursday! It's Turnover Thursday! Today I weighed myself and weighed in in the 160's!!!  First time in 2015 and only the second time in a very long time! Yay me! I don't like to share my weight but being that I share everything else why not? This last week has been a bit rough with "that time of the month" and a lot of cheat bites of cake or frosting or skittles! With the Seahawks being in the Super Bowl this weekend, Hell, just the Super Bowl parties in general makes it tough. In our culture, we celebrate everything with food. We also commiserate with food and we fill our boredom with food and procrastinate with food. We make memories with food. That, especially memory making, is not all bad. It started when our country was discovered during the first Thanksgiving ever! And let's not forget the Thanksgiving Celebration this year with Russell Wilson and Richard Sherman on the 50 yard line at Levi Stadium after the big win on Thanksgiving Day. I struggle with having a good relationship with food. The word moderation used to be my motto but then I realized I don't know how to exercise moderation in terms of food. So as you readers of this blog know I have restricted my food intake this month going no carbs and also doing "Dry January" both of those thing contributed to my weight loss of about 8 pounds so far this month.

What's a worry for me (yes I know worry is bad and serves no purpose) is that this weekend Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday and Februaury 1. The end of Dry January and No Carb January. My Seahawks are participating in this game (and I am super stoked and excited, as you all know already #GoHawks!) I am worried about tanking my weight loss track, I am worried if I eat too much I will not stay in the 160s and I am worried that if I don't eat this weekend I will never get to touch a Nacho ever again! OK, I know that sounds stupid but I think that is one thing that keeps me eating sometimes. (Again, yes this is very illogical but honestly it is a subconscious thing that people with bad relationships with food struggle with) I eat like I will never get another snack or treat again. If I could convince myself that food will always be there I don't need to stock up for the winter (or for the term of the diet) then I may have an easier time saying, no. And the fact that it will be February, I won't have Dry January to fall back on. Not that I can't avoid it just because, but this girl struggles telling herself no sometimes. But I will continue to go as I have during the last three months that I have lost about 25 pounds. I would like to be down 10-20 pounds more which would put me at my wedding weight I think I may be happy just being in the 150s.... But who knows I am the type who is never happy with the way I look. I will continue to work on that! I am proud of myself for where I am at now and almost enjoying clothes again!

Body image and self confidence is a subject that all women I believe struggle with! Confidence and Self Esteem, both things I want my daughter to learn better than I did. I was never taught that, my mom was never confident. I was not modeled any of that by my mom! (and The Girls is already on a better track than I was at her age thanks to dance and her ability to love herself and be proud of who she is I will take a bit of that credit too, but it probably comes from the Hubs) As I draw a connection to my blog post today to The Seahawks, those guys have confidence! They are good and they know it and they don't doubt themselves. They are good now but they like me, were not born good at football, they trained and learned and prepared and practiced and they continue to practice! They set themselves up with a game plan and don't waver and they bring home the win. I have planned and prepared meals, set aside time for workouts and have tried these last few months to prepare to be healthy and fit into my jeans! I will continue to do the same. My plan for this weekend to not tank my weight loss journey (which by the way when I get to my goal I will be getting a Seahawks inspired tattoo). My plan is to be prepared, to use my Emeals subscription to plan my meals and scheduling exercise. I am going to continue to use my Seahawks blinged out travel cup to get in enough water and when needed I will add and extra run in to intercept any extra calories trying to attaching to my hips (or something like that).

Bottom line I will use the model I see from the Seahawks to have a game plan  for success (meal planning, exercise, hydration) and I will tackle it and when I am down or get sacked I will get back up and keep my focus as this game and go for it! It is not over until it's over and I will be the Champion that I know I am! I can't wait for the game this weekend the Seahawks are going to play hard and do their best and, I think, beat the Pats! Even cheating teams, eh hem Patriots, will see this team is no joke! I don't know who will win, I hope it is the Seahawks, but I do know that my team will come out playing hard, hitting hard and bring 100% effort all the way to the end, I don't think anyone can beat them when they come out playing hard for each other and stay focused. So I will do the same I will work hard for me, no one (no food) can beat me when I go hard and stay focused! 

What part of your life do you need to take control over and stay focused to achieve? Game Plan, train and prepare to win! Always Compete! Today is Turnover Thursday, go get what is yours take it from the enemy and claim your prize, LOB style! Earn everything, you know you can! You deserve to take care of you! But if you need motivation look at your team around you (your family) and do it for them! They deserve you to be the best you, for them!

#Everyday2015

Go Hawks!

Competition Wednessday...Go Score

Happy Hump Day everyone! On Wednesdays I usually try to have a "Hump Day Challenge" or a topic on Sex (some weeks it comes up more than others). I am kind of struggling drawing a Seahawks and/or a Superbowl reference here to! It is Hump Day of Super Bowl Week! The Seahawks are in the Super Bowl prepping for a repeat as we speak. It is competition Wednesday! How can I draw the Seahawks, Super Bowl, Hump Day, Competition Wednesday and Sex together without it feeling like a stretch?..... I'll try, here goes nothing

How are we all doing on the #Everyday2015? Is anyone still in it? Have you done "it" 28 times this year? Well, I have! Sometimes I feel full of shit for writing this blog. When the Hubs and I are in daily life of normal family type things that are less than glamorous and we seem or feel in that moment less than happy, it is tough to spend any more moments trying to please the man (or him trying to please me.) We have done it though. We powered through a few nights and came out the other side and guess what, it made us closer and we are happier for it. We get into spats or mini sometimes major arguments that start because of thoughts like this: "I know I am working harder than he is because I am in here the kitchen cooking and cleaning after a day of grocery shopping, organizing, volunteering at school and then going to get the kid from practice getting their homework done and off to bed and finally at 9 or so I can sit down next to him and relax"...all the while he is thinking he is working harder than I am because he is getting up early going to work everyday then coming home and fixing the broken washing machine and then going to take a kid to practice and then finally at 9 he can finally sit down... Our stories are not very different. In actuality they sound very similar right? Well we have to stop being selfish! Both stories are right but why do we find the need to compare how hard we are working against how hard our spouse it working! I guarantee you are both putting in the same amount of effort. Maybe not on a physical level and maybe not completely even across the board everyday but you are both giving your lives 100% to your family in one way or another!

Let's take an example of our team! The Seahawks started out the season 3-3 and then went to 6-4. That was right about when analyst and band wagoners were counting them out. It was also right about when the team leaders got everyone together for a player only meeting to recommit to each other. They started playing the game FOR each other! Not just for themselves, not even for the win, for the love of their brothers. We all know how that ended(Superbowl baby!). When you stop looking over your shoulder and comparing what you are doing vs what your teammates are doing you. You get better. You can't control them anyway. You can only control you. If you know your teammate is giving 100% every play you don't want to be the guy to take a play off and give up a big play. You would let him down. You want to be the guy following the play through so you can help block or catch a tipped ball. When a teammate needs help you help him out you do it because you know he would do it for you! That is when you become unstoppable. That is why I believe the Seahawks will win the Super Bowl! The Defense has the back of the offense. Those players play for each other each play individually for the rest of the team. They have short memories of dropped balls and mistakes they are always looking at the goal that is a team win! They do not point fingers at the guy who dropped a ball or missed a tackle. They maintain trust, that when needed, that same teammate will come up big! Seahawks will win as team. We as couples and families need to win as a team

At sometimes during this month of Sex, Love and Washing Clothes I have thought that this was the answer to true happiness. It has not been bad for my life but it also has not been a magical pill, we still have to the work,  just like we did before! When the Hubs and I start keeping tally of what you did for me or what I did for you things go bad. As I am sure that happens to you too! We all need to remember we are on the same team. Yes right now I may be dropping the ball a little more than you or maybe you feel your spouse doesn't help out enough. Maybe your spouse is waiting for you to ask. It probably is miss communication and sometimes if you are like us trying to talk about that miss communication only creates more miss communication. Show your spouse you care about what is bothering them.

"In every complaint there is a deep personal longing." ~John Gottman 

Pay attention to your partners complaints what is there deep personal longing that they are needing to communicate but can't figure out how. Maybe they need more connection, maybe they are overworked at the office, maybe stressed about finances or maybe they just don't feel like you pay attention to them enough. Try to talk to them but also if you listen to their complaints (don't take them personal it's about them not you) and see if there is a way you can help come to a solution, ask them if there is a solution they are looking for. One solution may just be to have someone who will let them complain or even complain about the same thing along with them. That may help to bridge the divide that daily life stress causes!

My favorite advice: When in doubt have sex. Grab some erotic pictures off the internet, read erotic stories or make up your own with your mate. Get out the sex dice and put aside your differences and have a crazy fun romp. If time is an issue, go to bed earlier or invest in a lock for your door crank up the TV to muffle the noise and tell your kids you are off work for the night! But get in that positive touch somehow! Remember the person you fell in love with. The overworked under paid and overextended dad of your kids might not be too attractive right now but put him in a room with no distractions and give him your 100% naked body attention you may remember what the real Bare Necessities of life really are! So will he,hopefully he can turn off his brain for it, don't take it personal just give him time and be patient.

Go get you some tonight folks! Be in this moment like it is a 2 minute drill at the end of the 4th Quarter for the win of the Superbowl! It is competition Wednesday, make it competition worthy. If you want to compete with your spouse here are the parameters who can make the other one cringe with excitement better faster and longer hold it there for you to catch up and together let it go for a Score!
Go Hawks! Go Families! Go Couples!

#Everyday2015

Let Beast Mode Find You

Happy Tuesday! Keeping with my Super Bowl/Football type theme week since it is Superbowl week I am going to write on a quote from Marshawn Lynch that he made at a Skittles Press conference:

 "You don't feel in Beast Mode. It feels you."

If you are not a fan of football or the Seahawks Beast Mode is Marshawn Lynch when he runs the football he goes Beast Mode. He has a way of stiff arming opposing players and breaking through the traffic of a defense like he is inhuman...hence Beast Mode. In his first Beast Quake, back on January 8, 2011 in the divisional playoffs vs the New Orleans Saints, who were that year the defending Champs, he ran for a 67 yard touchdown that registered on the rector scale. He created a real earthquake we call it the Beast Quake. Marshawn gets in a zone when he is in Beast Mode and he does not stop until he finds the end zone. My fave is when he is in Beast Mode but right before he crosses the goal line he stops to turn and look at the team who couldn't defeat him and then just walks into the end zone for the score! Gives me chills and a smile just thinking of it. It seems he's been getting a TD like that at least once a game. Ever since the first Beast quake, they have been placing more and more seismometers around the stadium to monitor the Beast quakes, we even had a Sherm quake in play-offs this year when Richard Sherman got an interception. In the Arizona Cardinals game in AZ during the regular season Marshawn Lynch had another Beast quake type run where he broke multiple tackles and made it to the end zone and he made his famous HMD leap landing on his back flying through the air (The Boys favorite signature move, he has replicated it multiple times landing on my couch, for the record it was minus the infamous crotch grab before all the media and fines from the NFL, my son now includes the crotch grab. (BTW Thanks NFL for drawing attention to something that did not need to be drawn attention to nor should you fine Marshawn Lynch for that and should not fine him for it any time in the future) and my son's obsession with the Beast Quake leap was revived after the Cardinals game this year.) Beast Mode pep talks after a loss in wrestling gets my son through losses and onto the next match.

So now that we are familiar with Beast Mode and what it is let's talk about it. In a press conference for Skittles when asked, "what does Beast Mode feel like?" Marshawn Lynch said "You don't feel in Beast Mode. It feels you." Let that set in.... You don't feel in Beast Mode, it feels you. Saying it's not you, you can't do it alone. Some may use "Let go and Let God" You can't strum up to put it out there you have to let go and let Beast Mode over take you. I think that there is a "Beast Mode" in each of us. We don't have as big of stage as Marshawn Lynch, and I hope he doesn't take offense to me using this analogy. Don't get me wrong Beast Mode is larger than life, larger than football, larger than the Seahawks and larger than Marshawn Lynch. Each individuals Beast Mode can come out anywhere you just have to let it out. In order to let Beast Mode take over you have to not be afraid to make a mistake. Fear holds you back. Beast Mode comes out of a dark cavern in your sole, it hides there behind fear and worry and even behind arrogance. It is in a place where not many people see but one day you are called to unleash the Beast, like Lynch, and if you let allow it,  you will score that proverbial epic touchdown. He (along with the whole teammates) took a team that had a loosing record against the champs and gave the 12s inspiration and life and excitement. This one touchdown, maybe didn't ignite the 12s flame but it sure put gas on the fire and created the current inferno that are the 12s and has not stopped ever since. Since then, we have a Superbowl Championship and millions of Fans wearing Blue and Green tossing Skittles to prove it. Beast Mode found the 12s.

In our daily lives lets work to find our Beast Mode, or let it find you! There is a part of you that you have to let go of. In order to be great you have to let go of the fear that you are not. That fear that tells you you are going to mess up. Go find your Beast Mode. Allow yourself to find that balance of focus and letting go and doing your best without fear of messing up. That is my struggle, I am always afraid or not being great, or afraid of making a fool out of myself. If you want that great job apply for it! How many people never even try for something because they are afraid they won't make it? What if Micheal Jordan decided not to try out for the Basketball Team again because he thought he wasn't going to make it again? Don't do that! Put it out the in the universe that you want it! That, just saying it out loud, in an of itself is powerful! Take the steps to get the promotion or the job or the spot on the team. What if Marshawn Lynch was afraid of being injured again, or played scared?

Marshawn Lynch always goes hard is always ready for Beast Mode to find him. He doesn't like to talk to the media and sadly he gets fined for it, but when he does he has something great and motivational to say. Those quotes have helped me help motivate my son in a few pep talks. And many others as have been inspired as well. To my son I say "what happens when Lynch fumbles?"...He goes out and goes Beast Mode  until he scores...he is "all about that action boss" So I tell my son, go out there, you have more work to do "show me that action boss!" No matter what, he gets his Otter Pop during half time and snack at the end of the day and a big proud mommy hug no matter what the result. The boy can that boy unleash the Beast, we are in wrestling season right now and he would scare me to go against on that mat, I wouldn't want to face him. In football season he may be one of the smallest but is not afraid to cover the biggest kid! (Marshawn's mom gave him Skittles, I do Otter Pops, my boy also gets skittles when he scores a touchdown. And sorry a little bit of a proud mommy rant)

I am going to let go of  timid and scared Ruby today and search for and be open for Beast Mode Ruby today and everyday! That Championship mind set!

I am looking forward to media day today at the Superbowl! Can't wait to see my team bring it on this Sunday and watch Beast Mode! When you watch the Super Bowl look for that signature Beast Mode run the the walk into the end zone. Maybe we will even get to see a Beast Quake touchdown. But the crotch grab will have to be handled by the fans since the NFL thinks it's so vulgar! We will have a family "Grab You Junk Photo" in support of Beast Mode!

I am going to get my Beast Mode on today!

#Everyday2015

Mom's Seahawks Player Personality

Edit note: I used Stay at Home Mom reference for this but really it can be used synonymously with mom. I believe it is not only relevent to stay at home mom's all moms I believe possess all of these qualities working, part time full time and stay at homers!
Today is Monday of Super Bowl 49 Week. My Seattle Seahawks are competing for the title of Super Bowl 49 Champions! One thing we hear Pete Carroll and the team use a lot is "Always Compete". In football a lot of cliches and metaphors are used. And more are made each day! I am going to take a championship attitude to everything I do this week. It is easy to give a football competition metaphor to another sport but I am going to try to apply it to Sex Love and Washing Clothes this week. I am going to start with the "Washing clothes" in this blog.

My focus today is to get my Master Bedroom done, purge old stuff, reorganize the stuff that stays and make it easily manageable to stay that way. Having a Championship Mindset for this task is going to start with preparation. This task of cleaning, purging and reoraganizing is like practice and weight training and game planning. The cleaning and purging part is the strength training. Repitition that is to strengthen for the purpose of getting stronger and faster. Training in the sport specificity but not specifically playing the actual game or route running or anything. The Reorganizing is game planning and preactice reps. Making sure things have a home and there is easy access to it and it looks good to the eye. Daily living and putting things away when finished using it and not throwing clothes on the floor and keep it up is the game part. The Championship part. To be a Champion here my room will have to stay clean and organized! Everyday for a stay at home mom her game is putting things away dusting off the tops of the shelf and vacuuming up the dirt brought in from the family. 

Let's break down the players (Seahawks) on the field in relation to Stay at Home Moms

A SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) is like the linemen on the field. (Shout out to Max Unger, Justin Britt Russel Okung some of my faves) She does the dirty work so the QB and WR can make an amazing catch and throw and celebrate the touchdown in the Endzone. Meanwhile mom, or lineman in this metaphor, lay on their back recovering from exhaustion as the touchdown dance is celebrated (Dear Linemen, please don't get offended in the metaphor. You know those rough grinding days that the opponents really make you work. I know you condition and work hard and many times are right the in celebration but those rough days, same to you moms you know those days you just want to lay down on the floor in the waiting room for the well child check up, do we always have to be vertical?)

Now SAHMs don't get offended by me calling you a lineman. Let me add some context for you non football SAHMs out there. Lineman protect the Quarterback. They make holes for Lynch and Turbin to run through to score. Without the lineman (the bigs guys who line up kind of squatted in a three point stace over the ball) our skill players (quaterbacks, wide recievers and running backs) could  not excite us with their skills! Linemen grind, I bet they got to work on Sundays knowing they might get their ass kicked that day and/or they will give an ass kicking! The way I know that I will today when I go into my master bedroom but I will not stop until I too give one! Marshawn is going to be scoring and skittle will be flying! And for your defensive linemen type, there will be some blockers on their back and that QB of clutter (my Tom Brady today) will be sacked at lest 4 times today might even tip one of his deflated balls.

Or maybe we stay at home moms are like the LOB, the Legion of Boom. They steal the ball from the hot shot QB of the bad guy team in the form of interceptions and sometimes they even get a pick six (which is where they score a touchdown). Or they strip the ball from the hands of the ball carrier. They deliver the big hit like Kam Chancellor did against Vernon Davis on National TV a couple seasons ago (had to post a link of this hit). Or they tip the ball away from a would we be game winning touchdown like Richard Sherman did in the 2013 NFC Championship game vs Crabtree the infamous Mediocre receiver. Or we are like Earl Thomas who sits back and waits for his oppurtunity to pounce on the offensive player with the ball. Even with a dislocated Shoulder in this years NFC Championship Game he laid a hit on Eddy Lacey to hold him out of the Endzone! (Earl Thomas is my favorite player!) He is so focused so calculated so explosive, so good! Mom's are an important role in families, they protect their family the way the LOB protects the Seahawks Endzone. We Like the LOB, always know when and where to come up with a big hit, pick six, or a strip in the form or a great snack, a fun party game to keep kids from killing each other, running in that library book just in time for your kid to check out a new one and flashing the headlights at the bus driver so your kid doesn't miss the bus, that finishing move with the husband (wink wink) we know how to come up with the big plays when all seems down.

SAHMs also can relate to how Russell Wilson and company run the offense. Well calculated game plan flawless execution. Always ready for what comes next never surprised and when there is something that doesn't work there is no panic. He can rely on the Beast of Marshawn Lynch to run it into the Endzone or use him in a Play Action and get the job done with a QB sneak. Mom's, just like Russel Wilson, know how to use our assets we delegate but are not afraid of keeping it ourselves and running for the first down or into the Endzone for the touchdown. 

There is a mom metaphor to Luke Willson the Tight End as well. He lines up on the line and protects the QB for pass plays but he is also available to run up the seam for the score! I love the Wilson to Willso play it is just so fun to say. We mom's can make the plays like Russell Wilson but can also be versitile like a Tight End needs to be. Sometimes they have the QBs Back in a blocking sceme and others they are the featured receiver, just don't drop the ball and know your route, which all mom's are great at!

We moms also relate to Marshawn Lynch pretty well. He is "All about that Action" as are we. It doesn't matter how it gets done it just needs to get done and if you get in our way especially if you get in our kids way we will stiff arm you, knock you down and then walk into the Endzone that is ours to score the touchdown aka get shit done! But don't ask us how we did it. We don't want to tell you how we got the teacher to see things our way or how we made the right moves to get things just perfect for that birthday party we just did it. Let our body of work speak for itself and get the fuck out of our way! (Next time you wife grabs her crotch as she finishes dinner cleans the kitchen and folds the laundry in time for her favorite show, don't punish her just give her some Skittles)

Maybe we are like the Linebackers Bruce Irvin and KJ Wright they come up big with a sack at the right time. (the Hubs was a line backer too.) The linebacker is like the QB of the defense. Calling in defensive plays making sure everyone is where they need to be (at least that's how the Hubs team is) They also are the ones who get to blitz and sack the opposing QB. The Seahawks LBs are kind of quiet but will let you know who is there when it needs recognizing.

SAHMs are also a little like Micheal Bennett in that we are not afraid to get on a bike and go for a Joyride. But for us that might look like swinging on the swing at the park, yes we know it's for the kids but why not take a moment for some fun when we deserve it!

But realistically we probably fit the best with Pete Carrol...He manages all these personalities. He taught and instilled the Championship mind set in these players. These players love Pete Carrol and it shows has been able to reach the players who have been well off from the time of birth to those rose from the ghettos. He can hang with Marshawn and Russell and have them on the same page. who would have thought or expected that from the 2nd oldest coach in the league? We moms are similar, we can get the dancer and the wrestler working together on chores after school and then get them to their respective practices on time. We know what to feed the Boy before practice to get him to focus and we know that the Girl needs the right water bottle in order to stay hydrated. We know what it takes to make our family Champions and we do it in our own way and will continue our way no matter what the experts say! Stay your course. Pete Carrol has kept the Seahawks schedule the same as he did last year when they won. We mom's take control of our families in the schedules, to feeding, the taxi-ing, the game planning. We do it all we have to have confidence and know our team and make it work for them! This is where we shine, but not really "shine" we don't get a whole lot of the credit but we are the Pete Carols of our family
And we mom's have our days (some more than others) Just like Wide Reciever Jermaine Kearse and "angry Doug Baldwin" did in the NFC Championship game. Jermaine had a few dropped passes, a tip (maybe 2) that resulted in an intercetption. Despite his best efforts he kept coming up short. But he never gave up and Russle never gave up on him. He and Doug Baldwin kept going out the and grinding and working. Doug caught a long pass to give the drive momentum and in the end Jermaine caught the winning touchdown. We mom's have our rough days and dropped balls. We gotta keep on trying  keep grindingand the family has got to keep on trusting and we will win the game for them! Never give up moms! Honestly I don't think we know how (and by we I mean we mom's and The Seahawks)

What is your SAHM player personality? Do you have another suggestion? I would be curious if the players would agree with me and my SAHM metaphors. It was fun writing, hope you like it and get inspired this SuperBowl Week!  Go Hawks!

Send in the troups if you don't hear from me off to tackle the Master Bedroom!!!

#Everyday2015

There Are No Replays In Real Life, Don't Miss That Amazing Catch!

It is Sunday!!! Pro Bowl game is on the TV right now it is 5:30 PM! I haven't got a chance to write yet. 

I made an awesome breakfast, eggs, sausage and cheese scramble and hash-brown, sausage and cheese skillet. Well for the kids it was lunch...brunch. Then as I cleaned up the kitchen then the Hubs was working on the Hot Tub he asked for my assistance and I had to run an hour away for a part for it only to realize that it was closed despite what the website and their message on their phone says. So the Girl (who rode with me)  and I went to Dania, my favorite and now her favorite, furniture store. So it didn't feel like a wasted hour long drive...The Boy and the Hubs used the time to go throw the ball around and get ready for Little League try outs next week. As I was driving I was thinking about the fact that I hadn't written to my blog yet and that I will be home in time to watch the Pro Bowl with the fam (we are a true football family) and make dinner and do normal everyday mom-ish type things. I was feeling like the whole writing thing today might not happen because I don't want to miss out on time with the family.

As I sit here writing I pause to laugh, The boy just told the Hubs not to use Viagra because he (referring to himself) could get skin cancer...WTF? Where the hell did that come from? I had to stop to laugh and giggle. I asked why he had some reason that didn't make sense but just a little hilarity that goes on here in the Earl household.

So what I want to say it that it is important to me to be present in my household. Not just home, not just in the same room. (We are now giggling about the funniness of these Mathew McConaughey commercials). Being present is not sitting in a room on your phone while at your child's baseball practice. Don't give me the "I am at my kids practice everyday" as if it takes so much effort to sit and scroll through Facebook while you sit in the car and watch my husband teach your kid the nuances of the game. Not that I think you have to be there, but that is not being present. I am not being super present with my family right now, my real time side notes are a little examples of what I might be missing and half an attempt to try to make them think I am being present.

Basically to be present you have to put your phone down (insert other applicable electronic device here as in Ipad, laptop or even your knitting) and your head up. I just missed an amazing catch by Antonio Brown in Triple coverage, good thing for replay I can look up and watch it, it was a great catch, however I did missed the hit on Andrew Luck as he played. There are no replays in real life. If you miss your son's base hit or home run because your head was buried in your phone or you were chatting with another mom (guilty), you will not get that moment back. ...(Pause another McConaughey commercial).... If not present I wouldn't be able to watch my son crack up about it, not because he knows what he is saying because his dad is making fun of it and The Boy thinks it's funny and wants to make his dad laugh more. Sometimes it is a good release to take that moment to have the mom to mom chat and get a vent out or let another mom vent. But seriously Facebook Twitter and this blog even can wait until later it is digital don't miss your families moments!

So put your phone down, and pick your head up. Make eye contact with your family (and even the cashier at the grocery store) watch the game, don't miss you daughters dance for Facebook! Read my blog,,,everyday because I write it everyday but don't miss family time for it! And remember, that amazing things happen and will still happened even if you don't have a selfie to prove it! I am going to watch this game and get dinner going too. The Boy says "Go Team Carter" 

BTW The Hubs will tell me I need to practice what I preach so I am picking my head up! We probably all need a bit of a reminder to be present in every moment. Let's do this people!

One Week until Super Bowl 49... GoHawks!
#Everyday2015

I Want To Write About the Crazy Shit!

Happy Blue Friday!!!!  Go Seahawks (yes I know it is a bye week but for Superbowl Baby!!!)

I am really enjoying my 2015 blogging adventure! I have been doing a bit of trying to sound intelligent and knowledgeable and like I know what I am talking about but I sometimes I feel like I am full of shit! I just watched an episode of Girls Guide To Divorce (which I have never watched and never wanted to kind of because I don't want it to be foreshadowing since I am writing this blog about marriage and love and sex and Abby is writer who wrote a marriage book and then got a divorce don't know much more about the story) but something struck me of what Abby said. She pitched an idea(I think for a new book I only caught about 45 minutes of this particular episode) to her friend and her friend laughed at her and then Abby went to .... "I am full of shit" and the friend said YES! Go with that! She did. Abby's pitch was basically "I want to write about crazy shit" and the people in the board room loved it.

When I started this blog I wanted to write about my marriage that has been held together with some crazy shit! The hubs and I get told a lot that we are a perfect couple, truth is I think they are right, but we are sometimes the perfect couple storm too. We like to socialize together. We rarely go out on Girls Night Out or Guys Night Out, actually the Hubs is usually invited to Girls Night Out because he will drive me home for one, and he is a lot of fun to hang with, the girls like him around he makes us laugh and he will even chat with the girls about girl stuff and he is the type of guy who is not afraid to go to the store just to buy Tampons for me. I always crash, and by crash I mean I am invited to, Guys Night Out because I am kind of one of the guys too. I like football I know football just as much or more than the guys I was even a proxy Fantasy Football drafter when one buddy was TDY for work. We have fun together we don't get jealous we are both kind of flirts but respect each other as well. The Hubs does not like to dance much. He will if I ask nicely or if he is drunk enough or in the right mood. But we have a few friends who do like to dance and will dance with me. I always ask the Hubs before I head out on the dance floor with another man. He usually looks at me funny and says "why are you asking me?" For me it is because I respect you and want to put it all out there so you know what I am doing and there are no surprises.

It's fun times like this that make our relationship so fun and our lives happy. Fun is a big reason to be happy. Spending time with your spouse or partner is a good way to build connection. You do not have to be attached at the hip! That is what confuses a lot of people sometimes though but it shouldn't. People need to be secure in their relationship. I think that is one reason we are so happy and have so much fun. I love the nights when we meet up after being in two different conversations and say..."fancy meeting you here!" Then we snag a kiss and maybe cop a feel and then go back to our respective conversations or activities. I like dancing and girl talk, he plays cards or outside games and/or BBQing with the boys. We are the perfect couple because we are secure with each other and love to spend time together with our family and friends and also have great time alone together too!

I too want to write about the crazy shit. I have some crazy stories (there are way more crazy rumors floating around out there about me so don't get any ideas, can you hear the Katy Perry music too) but I have to figure out how to fit them into the context of a blog and get the details right, you as the reader need it to make sense and that may be hard because many of my stories are like listening to a group of giggly drunk girls explain what their giggly inside joke just was about...let's see if I can actually write about that stuff and make sense..might be fun... But we have to remember I am not a writer but I have 342 days left this year to work on it! And Don't judge you know you have these stories too! Go have fun with you lover this weekend! I plan to!

#Everyday2015

Never Ever Give Up

Oh. My. Word. The Seahawks win in a comeback! (I know I have been talking a lot about football, it is a big deal!) They were down the whole game but never gave up and in the end with 4 minutes left when the Packers were resting on their lead (mailing it in) the Seahawks were still working at it and scored for the win!

Message of this is NEVER GIVE UP! Never ever give up! No matter how far down you are, how bad the chances look or how hard it will be, never give up! Football gives us a lot of metaphors and a lot of life lessons! The boy's football team tried to do this in their championship game. They were down by 20 and they came back in the last 4 minutes to lose 24-30. It was a sad loss but a day to be proud of with the comeback that they made. They never gave up, but came up short but had something to be proud about and to build on for the next year.

Jermaine Kearse score the winning touchdown. He had been targeted 6 times that ended in drops and/or interceptions. He had a rough day, he did not hang his head he went out there and focused and worked hard to catch that last pass in the End zone in overtime, while being interfered with at that! He only caught one pass and he caught the one that really mattered and won the game! What a comeback.

In our daily lives we have many opportunities to either decide to mail it in, give up or refocus and kick ass and make a difference. In the NFC Championship the Seahawks never gave up. There were fans who had given up on them and left early. (Bandwagoners, we call them) We stayed and believed. I always believe, I always stay. In everything. in my marriage and in my life there have been many times no one would have faulted me for walking away, leaving early, or giving up but I have decided I would rather work through it and get the win at the end of the day! Life is not always easy especially if you are married with a family where everyone is going in different directions. I was given advice from a friend of mine who had recently gone through a divorce. He said never give up it is always worth it! I am always down for a come back! The celebration is so worth it. 

Never give up, you will never know what you are capable of if you give up! You may come up short like our pee wee team did but you will still be able to say you did your best, you gave everything you had. You can give respect to you opponent when they win against your best efforts, and be proud of your best effort. It is so worth it to not give up! So, never give up! Never ever give up! Believe in yourself you may surprise you and you will be able to celebrate your win. (and I am sure you know how I will suggest you celebrate that win) This whole Sex Love and Washing Clothes thing for me is tough, I will not give up or throw in the towel I will continue everyday, some days I will be down (like not getting my blog in until 6pm but I will not give up!)

Go Hawks

#Everyday2015

Savor Each Moment, Be A Champion

Today is the NFC Championship game and my beloved Seahawks are hosting the NFC Championship Game for the second year in a row! (Can you see that big smile on my face?) Many analysts are giving our opponent, Green Bay Packers no chance. Well I am more nervous than I was for the Championship Game that my son played in earlier this year (and it was my son playing and my husband coaching and I was pretty nervous). Big question is Why? Nervousness and worry serve no purpose, AT ALL! But I am still nervous. Which is kind of good because I have been nervous every game. The ones I wasn't as nervous at we lost. I don't strap up the pads, or prepare for a game why am I nervous. Maybe that is why. As a fan I have no control over how the game is played what plays are called and how well the players are prepared to and actually execute the play on the field. I have no control, except to intimidate the other team with our loud crowd noise us 12s are known for. If I had control I could watch more film, spend more time in the gym or do something to affect how well I will play. The only thing I can do is scream my heart out and hope it makes and impact on the game going on down on the field! But since I can't, I sit here and worry about nothing, no one will die if I don't or if the Seahawks lose. It will not affect my income or ability to provide for my family. It will affect the mood of the Hubs though and the kids might be a little sad (The Boy especially) but we will go on just as we have before. But I know what it felt like last year being at the game watching Richard Sherman bat the ball out away from Michael Crabtree and cement the Seahawks spot in the 48th Superbowl! It was surreal, amazing, joyfull and I want to feel that again, badly!

The things I am worried about: I am worried we will miss the ferry in the morning (confession I am writing this Saturday night before I go to bed so I can be 100% in the moment even on the ferry ride). I am worried we might miss kick off (it's an hour earlier than normal games) if we leave too late from the pregame spot. I am worried I might forget something so I have already laid out what I will wear, showered and all the things I need to take including my jewelry and glasses are sitting next to the bag I will carry with me, that also already has my wallet in it. I am not usually this prepared but that is how I can know we will get out of here with everything I will need. OMG I need to RELAX and enjoy the anticipation of this moment!

The lesson here today folks is to be in the moment, I am so worried about this game I have had little time to be excited and happy that we are even in this game! I, as well as many other 12s some more than me, want so badly for our team be in the Superbowl that we are forgetting how great it is to be in this NFC Championship game! I, sadly, do this sometimes with the family and with my husband. I want so badly to not miss something that I worry away the moments that we do have. Instead of savoring a moment we wish it would last forever and once it's gone all we have left is that feeling that we didn't savor it because we were too worried we were never going to experience it again. When I got married before I walked down the isle I said "wait, I want to anticipate more" what I meant really is I wanted to savor that moment! We all should savor each moment, especially the special moments, more often. Yes, we want the things that feel good to happen more and the things that make us sad to happen less but worrying one way or another just steals the moment away. We don't want to live our lives on the skip or fast forward button and that is what worry does to you.

Which is why I wrote this blog post now at almost midnight (between Saturday and Sunday) Championship Sunday so that I can savor the championship. I have already packed my stuff, had good luck sex (a must every week), made sure my lucky 12th Man hat my MIL made for me was in my bag...all I can do is savor the moment! I will scream loud, I will give respect for my team and be 100% in it tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to rep the team and do the same in a few weeks at the Superbowl too. I am going to take the next 12+ hours savoring the fact that my team has a chance to play for a spot to go back to back in the Superbowl. 

So on this Championship Sunday, even if you are not a fan, you do the same. Be a Champion by going 1-0 today in everything you try to do even if you are not a fan of The Seahawks. Use the Seahawks 1-0 mantra to get you through. When you have the 1-0 mindset you don't get a second chance so you prepare like there is not a next week and you do everything as good, no better than you can! In order to do that you have to be in the moment and present at every moment. Be A champion and win each moment of everyday!  And use your Seahawks voice!

Be a Champion, Go 1-0 everyday

#Everyday2015 #GoHawks

Let You Inner Sherman Out. Be Bold Don't be Mediocre

Happy Blue Friday folks!!! It is Championship Weekend!!! Go Seahawks. Last year there was a bit of a controversy after the game when Richard Sherman called out Micheal Crabtree, referring to him as mediocre. Richard Sherman kind of sounded arrogant and disrespectful in his banter. However everything he said was true, and knowing Richard Sherman it was somewhat calculated. Later in the week he did not make an apology for calling him mediocre, he stuck to his word, he may have scared Erin Andrews in his rant and he did, however, apologized for that. He had something to say and he said it. The only apology was about the delivery no back pedaling or changing the meaning of what he said. I like that about him. He always puts 100% into everything he does, including his after the game on field interviews. He is bold and not afraid to say how he feels. The Hubs is like that. 

I am more reserved and keep my mouth shut more often than not I think some great thoughts but if I think it might offend someone I may not say it out loud, at least until later. I tend to be more politically correct, I wouldn't want to offend anyone. However, with this blog I do share a lot more than many of my outspoken friends do, but that is while hiding behind a computer screen. I am not afraid to put it out there. And by "it" I mean whatever might be on my mind and what I am thinking or feeling. I am getting more bold as the year continues but a lot of the time I will delete my comment on post that might be misinterpreted or if it is a joke that I think someone won't understand. In this blog I get the chance to say what I am thinking. I am more bold when typing (like most people are) but I am still me. Is the real Richard Sherman the mellow very well spoken guy we see in a press conference or the arrogant bully (as some have called him) that we see on the field on game day? Is there two Richard Shermans? Does that change our opinion of him? Am I the Ruby who thinks one thing and never says it out loud? Or the one who says almost everything on her mind while writing my blog? Does it matter? I say no.

Do we think the fact that most of us have a work personality, home personality, game personality, and around other parents personality and even the bedroom personality make us hypocritical? It is just a fact and in some jobs and situations a necessity. I don't just that fact makes us hypocritical. As long as you at the core really don't change. If we offend our friend by something we say or a word we use when we are being honest, I believe the problem lies with the friend. If it is how we deliver it, I believe, the problem in this case may lie with the person being disrespectful in their tone or delivery. Say what you feel and be honest but be respectful, mindful and sensitive especially when it is a sensitive topic that hits close to home. Most of us need to learn how to stop taking things so personally. I have a lot of crazy colors on the walls in my house. Some people are not afraid to tell me it is not their choice of color. Some are more tactful or respectful in saying it others use words that could be kind of a personal attack. However it is their opinion not mine. If I got offended every time someone didn't like my colors I would have no friends left! It does not mean they don't like me or my house, they just don't like my choice of color, and they don't have to, it's my choice. I wish I could speak my mind more freely and not offend people or I wish I didn't care but I do. I am going to be working on that! You, readers work on not being offended, deal?

Let's be who we are! You know the saying men want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. (I don't know if I qualify anymore as a lady in the streets since I put it out on the internet! Who Cares! Yes I am!!) We do need to censor in some settings but we don't need to change what you like and who you are! I may not go down the street in Green Bay chanting 12th Man chants (which I would do in Seattle on Game Day) but that doesn't mean I won't wear my Seahawks jersey or start chanting Go Pack Go either. In the bedroom let's not be afraid to get a little risque with our mate! I'll say it again, Men like the lady in streets freak in the bed type women and most women like the Christian Gray type as well. Let those reservations out and don't be afraid to share those moments with your love. Don't just wait 'till his birthday! You can start with just a little dirty talk and then go from there. If he is asking for it and you are lost or have no idea where to start ask him to demonstrate what he means when he asks for dirty talk. (Remember no one will hear you and your preschool moms will not judge you for what they can't hear!) Have fun with it. Let you inner game day Richard Sherman out! He always puts his all on the field! Your field is your domain, your bedroom, kitchen, laundry, put your all into it be it cleaning the kitchen, folding clothes or knocking boots. Go for the score and definitely don't be mediocre! 

#Everyday2015

Dedicated Fan of Your Team?

How dedicated are you? How dedicated am I? It is January 12 and I have kept my Sex Love and Washing Clothes Bare Necessity "resolution". Is it a resolution? There are a handful of Seahawks fans right now, sitting outside Qwest Field to get tickets to watch the Seahawks in the NFC Championship game. Those fans are hard core but does that make them dedicated? I have my tickets already since we are season ticket holders and have the chance to preorder play off tickets. My 9 years of going to games and toughing out through the 4-12 seasons earned/bought me the right to not have to sit in that line at the stadium. I think that is dedication. Tickets are on average upwards of $100 each for 10 games (2 preseason, 8 regular season) and the about 50+% more for playoffs. Are the season ticket holders who put aside those Sundays show up everyday pay for the season in April dedicated more than those sitting outside the stadium for 48 hours? (I think so, yes, but does it really matter?) Those fans are hard core and dedicated who is more hard core? (I don't think it really matters.) Is dedication those who pay double the face value the week of the game and stand in line for two days to get play off tickets? What makes you dedicated? What drives those folks to sit outside for 48 hours to watch a game? I have sat outside watching games for 9 seasons as a season ticket holder but before that spent as much to go to half the games. That's dediciation. There have been a few seasons you couldn't give tickets away, people even let their names fall of the the Blue Pride list (the wait list for season tickets). Those of us who were there through thick and thin the years we went to the Superbowl and the years we went single digits and the dreaded 4-12 year, that's dedication we are hard core. We are all 12s that is what it is all about. This week is different though you get a different kind of 12 in weeks and years like this one. It's the NFC Championship week, I realize this game is big, it is worth the wait outside of the stadium for 48 hours, it doesn't happen every day! This is a thought provoker for me (and a good theme for my writing). So let's explore this theory as it relates to the Sex Love and Washing Clothes audience

When we get married we say our vows, (fans have not said vows to or for their team but some act like it and some are out and booing at the first sign of trouble). We say for better or worse (which means in the Superbowl years and in the 4-12 years) but nowadays (hate that word but my dad used to use it and I do now as well) do people really mean it? You don't know how many people have said to me "I would never put up with that" when referring to some of my relationship issues over the span of my marriage. Well, that should be obvious since most of those people are single and/or divorced and/or afraid to and/or will not marry. Divorce rates are up compared to when our parents were married. Many people never (or never will again) say vows to each other because they either don't want to have to commit or because they are afraid their mate won't or they don't want to have to stick it out when things get tough, but most often use the excuse they don't want to get hurt. Are we fair weather fans of marriage only doing it when it feels good and you are winning? Like those who fell off the Blue Pride list the losing years of Seahawks seasons? Do we pick up and move to another bandwagon when things don't feel as electric as those 13-3 years? I think a lot of people in a lot of different situations do, not all there are loyal fans of being married! I have been on the team Earl even before I married my best friend in 2000. His family accepted me I accepted them and he was on my family team even before I became an Earl. We are dedicated fans (and members of) each other's families, just as we are of our current family even before it was a team of 4 just the 2 of us, and just as we are dedicated fans of the Seahawks. We are not looking to find a new team every time the season gets rough (let me tell you there has been some rough ones as i know you all have also experienced). Sometimes it seems there are fans of sports teams and are more loyal to them than they are to their spouses. Which I think is sad. 

A good competitive game, a good play or star player helps people come back or keeps them there to be fans of the team and fill the seats on game day. I think this compares to good sex. Good sex in a long term relationship is like the good games or big plays that keep fans excited, the Beast Mode Run, a Hole In One, a Grand Slam Home Run, a No Hitter, or a Hat Trick, to name a few things in sports that will get us excited even when our team is not winning. Even in the losses of a team struggling the fans will keep coming back for those special moments and gain hope from that. "It's something to build on" Good sex is your star athlete that can keep you and your spouse coming back to each other. You will have little need to go somewhere else because that is the draw to your spouse. The Big Touchdown Pass or Strike Out, that Hole In One that keeps you watching and waiting for it to happen. Not that sex is everything in a relationship but it can definitely the be the star of the team. Especially where I came from, you need a draw to your team. Seattle sports have a way of letting you down. Until last year when the Seahawks won the Superbowl, we watched the Mariners win the most regular season games in the History of the MLB 116, I was at that game, only to lose in the first round of the playoffs. Seattle is used to getting so close and then a let down. But we kept going back for more. A long term relationship with some struggles that you have good sex through it all, is like a team with a not so good record but a team that is always in the game or has a player that is electric to watch even in the loss it keeps you going back for more. Sex has kept my relationship spicy and hard to leave at times. What makes it hard to leave is my dedication to the Hubs and my family and I actually love my husband. We love each other and took our vows serious but really we have something to keep us coming back for more. Good sex. We have a lot of good stuff but sex reminds us that. It is very palpable... Like a team that pulls it out in a come from behind win and to make the playoffs and reignites the band wagoners, but when you constantly have good sex, you won't fall off the bandwagon you may try but will always be pulled back up on it with those Beast Mode Runs or The Grand Slam Home Run finish in this case those plays start with "O" (hehe)

It's kind of like a buzz or a rush you get when you watch your team win (or have an orgasm)! The anticipation the energy and excitement of a good game... the anticipation is the best part aside from the actual win! Yes, you can have that with your spouse, tonight. Start now, Send a text message that says something like "I can't wait to see you naked later" or send a sexy picture to your husband at work, the less clothes, if any, the better. He may get embarrassed for a moment but then will be excited and then everyday will wonder and look at your messages with anticipation that there may be another one like that. Then when he gets home be playful, don't yell at him when he grabs your booty while you do the dishes, he is excited to see what tonight is going to bring. Husbands, do these previous things to let your wife know you got her message and are excited for it too! Everyone loves the "big game" even if you are not a rabid fan of the specific team, any sports fan can respect another team's big game. So make your "big game" a little excitement in the bedroom. There is nothing like a big win or a Big "O".

It's time to make your spouse a fan of your team (as if he is not already) ...Ok, my SAHM readers I know this is a bit of a stretch especially if you are not a sports fan but come on ladies send those sexy texts (it does not have to be pictures but I know you man will enjoy it) and get ready for the big game because it's coming up tonight and hopefully you both will be coming tonight!

#Everyday2015

Rituals Go Hawks!

Today is Game Day Saturday! Our beloved Seahawks are playing in the divisional round of the playoffs. I can't tell you how excited, nervous and ecstatic I am! We have certain game day routines or rituals you could say. Well, we always have sex either the night before or morning of. But we take the ferry always go to the same Bar and have food drinks shots and a lot of fun with our group. Every 12 has some sort of ritual. During the game they have played Bittersweet Symphony as the players walk out for as long as I can remember and we raise the 12th man flag.  On defense, especially third down you stand and yell as loud as you can, you use your "Seahawks" voice! There is a sort of energy that comes with those rituals.  It really is unexplainable but it is palpable, similar (but way more) to what you get at a rock concert if you've had the opportunity. The energy that is wrapped up in Qwest field when filled will 68,000+ fans, all the rituals that are involved it gives me goose bumps regularly and even just thinking about it. (I'm so excited) (BTW this is being written as we head to the game on the ferry)

The point here is that rituals can be very boring when thinking about candle lighting at Church, sad carrying a casket into a funeral, but filled with hope of a wonderful life while walking down the aisle wedding day, and excitement anticipation and loudness at a Seahawks game! Those events and actions in and of themselves do not equal those emotions and feelings until you add the human factor. That's where emotions and feelings  begin then and only then do they become rituals filled with energies of human emotion, hope, excitement, sometimes turns into sorrow and disappointment. It's all human and it's all real.

When going to a game every step of the ritual presents different feelings which translates to a past experience and the energy of everyone around me.  So be mindful of those normal everyday things you do, are they rituals or just going through the motions you can shut the lights off at night or you can make a ritual of worshiping your husband or wife's body and really getting into the ritual of sex everyday. It doesn't have to be boring or a job (it kind of is job for me right now, but I work and suceed to change that everyday, it really is a fun ritual). If ritual is too strong of a word just think of a ritual you look forward to, for examples game day, or that stop at the cafe on the way to shop on Black Friday, maybe the spot you post up while hunting (hunters have a lot of rituals) whatever your favorite thing is I guarantee there are rituals connected.  Think about how you feel, the energy you get when you are involved in that activity (or ritual) and figure out a way to infuse your marriage or daily life and especially in your sex life!!  You will be pleasantly surprised and amazed just by calling it a ritual will change the energy and make your sex life skyrocket with amazement. Don't be afraid to use your Seahawks voice every now and then! Go Hawks!

#Everday2015

List: How To Create a Football Connection

Happy Blue Friday!!!  Yes from where I live it is Blue Friday officially the mayor of Seattle even made a proclamation, not that he needs to do that because every Friday in Seattle and surrounding areas is Blue Friday, pretty much all year round. This week is different because it is the playoffs! Divisional The Boy was born 9 years ago this weekend.  It was a Friday the night before the Seahawks had their first play off game on a Saturday as the Number 1 seed.  So I missed that game obviously the boy was born at 11:56 Friday night. The Hubs was on the way to the game in the morning as I headed to the Pediatrician to have the newborn checked out.

Football has always been important. Really, football built this family. I met a guy with a cute smile in Washington State History Class. He was a football player I knew that even though it wasn't football season at the time because he wore his Letterman's jacket that boasted his football career and number. That jacket now hangs in my coat closet. We talked when we got back from spring break about who had the best spring break. For me I had the best because I was in a pageant and crowned Princess so that would mean I got to be on a float and wave to admiring little girls all summer during parades all over the state, I was stoked and it was as much fun as I expected it to be. He said his was the best because he had gone on vacation on a cruise, which was way cool as well. We compared stories and flirted a lot in that class and became good friends. 

At the time I was dating someone I thought I would marry so had no romantic interest in the boy with a cute smile but was fun to be flirty and get to know this guy. We became really good friends. Over the summer I went through a break up and decided to pick up the phone and call the cute smile boy and found out that he now had a girlfriend. We talked everyday, we were just friends. Then when school started we saw each other at school and met up at my locker (we had lockers in the same hall) everyday and chat. On Monday's he had the football scouting reports. I learned all the plays (sort of) that he needed to learn he taught them to me and explained what he was doing, it probably helped him learn the plays more than taught me football, it takes a while to learn that sport, but I looked forward to those Mondays and every other morning I saw him. 

Football started our relationship and we didn't even know it, we were just friends still he had a girlfriend who did not go to school with us and we had no romantic intentions at all, I was dating someone else too, kind of (talking on the phone seeing each other occasionally on weekends). Until one day The Hubs and I had our first kiss and I think at that moment we both knew, but didn't know, that there was magic there, a connection that would not be broken no matter how hard we tried. Even after a few recent years of fighting we still have that magic and that connection not even the worst fights or friends telling us we are too oil and water to stay together. We still are like magnets to one another. Sex is a big part of the glue that keeps us together but football is the other! Neither of us would even consider not going to the games or giving up season tickets. The best way to "get over a fight" (other than good sex or in times when we couldn't muster the desire or gumption to get through sex) is a ride on the ferry to a game! Get us in the atmosphere and it is nothing less than magical (I don't know if the magic of John Gottman can compare to the magic that football has on the Hubs and I).

So the Seahawks being in the playoffs is more than just a game, it is magic, on so many levels!! I met my husband, my life partner, sometimes my nemesis and created so many life memories with football. Playoffs gives of bonus weeks of football! The Hubs is my football other half! I have gone to a few games with out him and he without me and we always miss each other!  He's calling me "you would love it here, you should be here!!" when he has traveled to away games. He has even told the guys when they started planning a guys only Superbowl trip "Ruby is coming weather or not your wives/girlfriends come my wife is going." I know I may talk about this a lot but it is a big part of me and why my relationship exist and that is the connection we have. Football gives us something to do a place to go a subject to talk about! We all need these things in our relationship, you can't live on sex alone! As much fun as it is, there needs to be something that keeps you both entertained out of the sac.

Football is a thread the weaves my husband and I together. We all need that in our relationship. It doesn't have to be football, it can be another sport or music or activity. I was not too interested in football before I met the Hubs. I took the time to get into his world. So to those reading this struggling for a connection with your spouse, here are a few tips to football during the playoffs with you husband (or wife, not trying to be sexist that's just my POV so don't take it personal you can flip the genders on your own) try to work on this so you are ready for Superbowl:

• Don't stand in front of the TV while there is a play going on if you don't know what that means just stay out of in front of the TV 
• Ask you partner questions but if it is too complicated tell him he can explain later but let him watch the game first. Try not to talk while he is trying to here the referee's call or something important about the game.
• Try to save the questions for after the game while he is watching sports center or the "5th quarter" shows where they break down the game. Those shows are really helpful to learn what he is telling you and reinforce his information 
• Listen to the commentators, learn who you partners favorites are and follow those guys on twitter, watch their pod casts, and pay attention. (Start watching and learning now you have 3 weeks before the Superbowl to get Coached up Then when you watch the game with him next time after you've listened to his answers and the commentators you may know something and impress you man in the process)
• You have to show genuine interest. If you are not interested the other option is to be the hostess the party. 
• Cook the food 
• Keep beers full, grab fresh ones when you see empties (clean up as you go put the empties in the recycle, there may be more than you want to count at the end of the day)
• Have snacks ready before the game and at half time and make dinner after the game. (don't make him miss the end of the game for Sunday Dinner. Plan it after or have an early dinner before the game)
•  Make jello shots or treats in his favorite team colors research who they are playing and for sure avoid the enemy colors!
• Find fun theme drinks, or learn how to make Bloody Mary's and Whiskey and Cokes, because remember guys like what they like. (don't make him a fruity vodka drink when he is a beer and whiskey guy and if you do be prepared to drink it all and don't make him feel bad that you went through all that effort)
• Cute snacks for him to feed the boys who might be coming over. They will eat them and destroy the pretty stadium design you made with your cold cuts but they will remember your effort and appreciate it. 
• Bonus points if you keep it refilled and looking pretty but that is not necessary, neither is the pretty display they don't care if it is paper plate or foil containers just that there is food there
• At some point sit down and have a beer join in the celebration, he will thank you for and enjoy it and you will be one of the cool wives because you made the effort.
• Don't take it personal if he is in a bad mood or snaps at you if his team is loosing. (you may need to give him his some space or alone time) Playoffs are a big deal, it's not what you did or you party that is bad he is just sad and it's hard for guys to lose and/or watch their team play bad, get beat or get screwed by the refs...a little sexy something might help his mood like serving his next beer topless (just saying)
• If his team does lose, hold off on the "since you team lost my mom need....." topic don't bring up the loss for at least a day or two but know he will still want to watch the Superbowl so don't make plans for him

Just a few ideas.  Hope you enjoy playoffs!! Remember a little extra loving if his team loses may go a long way and the other side of it, celebration sex is the best!!!! Trust me, I know! Enjoy the playoffs. Find a connection to your spouse and love them through it and more! 

Go Hawks!

#Everyday2015