UGH!!!

OMG It has been a shitty day! The Hubs and I had an argument the other night and it seems to be lingering longer than it was welcome!

Let's review the Four Agreements:
1. Be Impeccable with your words.
2. Don't take things personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.


Let's just leave it like that. This is a good book I hope the day is better for you all and myself after the Hub's late night class he teaches! I am so frustrated that I just can't even speak or put together a blog post.

#Everyday2015

Time To Plan a Reboot!

Today is Sunday! It is the day of the Daytona 500! I used to be stoked about that day but we have got busy and NASCAR became kind of boring lately, or maybe it is just boring when you can't follow and keep up with it, it can be very time consuming because it is a long season. But it is something to occupy Sunday's when nothing else is going on (I miss football) and you know me any reason to have a party! I think I will be going to get wings and snacks for the race, yes it has started already but it is the Daytona 500 it will be on for a while!

Today I am having a feeling that I don't want to do anything. I am having a hard time getting motivated. I just want to hang with my family. I have bridal shower for a great close and wonderful friend but I am not feeling social at all. I wonder if I can take her out for lunch or for drinks or something one day to make up for it. I have been busy and this weekend if you are a regular reader you have heard and seen with my late posts (9pm last night) is shows how busy I was. I think my friend will understand, I just don't know if I will. This is the struggle I have a lot of times. It is an important day, your bridal shower day, but family is important and I haven't had time with the Hubs or the boy at all this weekend, and next weekend the Girl and I will be at a dance convention so probably won't see them next week either. I need some quality time with them. But my friend will only have one Bridal Shower, ever but I am pretty sure she knows the struggle and always is understanding. She is one who I feel is honest with me when she can't make something happen with me and I can be honest with her too. Anyway I will be contemplating this all day.

I have had a lot going on and love it. However, I want some down time. I want a day that the Hubs and I can just lay in bed all day. When we have those days, we don't just lay in bed all day, we fuck, we make love, and we have sex. Yes those are pretty much the same thing but are also very different! I love the days you don't have to decide which one you will have to do. You can have crazy mad love take a cuddle break and then just be raw and fuck and then repeat as desired, and then, right before you get up at 5 pm or so, you can end it with "Let's have sex one last time" just to finish off. I want that day where we have no kids home or even coming home. Where we get up at 5 pm right before we get ready to go out to dinner and a date then come home and have crazy mad fucking love again before we go to sleep. Maybe even have some outdoor naked time... just have more than 24 hours to do nothing unless we want to and have no responsibilities! Grams and Gramps will be home from AZ soon and I am sure we can talk to them about taking the kiddos for a weekend or so, wonder if I can talk the Hubs into letting the Boy skip a Saturday Baseball practice.... 

A mini vacation to Vegas or Portland would be fun too. We have to decide do we want to take some of the time to drive or fly to a location or just to be lazy... Hmmm.... But then we would have to pay for  it too...

I think this may sound like I am complaining. I am just having a rough time and I think a little vacation or break might be needed! I love my life, being a stay at home mom (soon to be part time working mom), having my kids busy and being proud of them, taking care of the house being there to give the Hubs a kiss when he comes in the door ... I do love everything about my life. Sometimes we all get overwhelmed and I am starting to realize that, I need a reboot! We all do. Sometimes we need to get creative to make it happen due to schedules, finances, kids, jobs etc. But bottom line, I am right there needing that reboot. I need to make it happen ASAP before things get too bad and I end up hating my life or at least before I get resentful about all the things that stress me out! So in the next month I need to make my reboot happen! I need to make that a priority because if I need it, I bet the Hubs does too!

Time to plan a reboot and be able to be 100% happy in my life and not make excuses to not participate with people I love and in activities that I love because I am overwhelmed! Plan to succeed in life and right now to succeed a reboot is necessary! Even just the planning will help relieve the stress and overwhelm feeling, just don't over plan and make that stressful (I never do that...yes, that was sarcasm). Basically I need to plan a weekend for the 'Rents to take the kiddos the rest will just happen! Happy Rebooting folks! Today I will just be, and not beat myself for the things I cannot do. I am only one person I do need to take care of me and the rest will understand! Love you all and Happy Bridal Shower Day to my friend!

P.S. This was kind of a ramble today... I know that it is a bit of a bi-product of how I am feeling overwhelmed and not 100% into anything lately. Hope you enjoy it and I have a hunch many of you can relate, which is why you read in the first place, right?

#Everyday2015

Busy Friday... Late post

Today's post is late because I have been busy. I had a great coffee with the ladies/Intro to Young Living Essential Oils Class that I taught.  Now I am heading to pick up used bowling pins for wrestler end of season gifts (team mom job) then we have baseball practice (I am also team mom) and another Young Living class... Then kids to Grandma and Date with the Hubs!

As I listened in my second Young Living class today, taught by my team leader, I use her notes when I teach, we say a lot of the same things and I got a reminder of things I had forgotten about. Was fun to spend some time with new people learning about how oils can enhance our lives. I also noticed an interesting energy that got me emotional as she spoke about wearing some of the oils over her heart. I am going to try to use my oils more consistently and try to avoid the meds I blogged about this earlier this week. Maybe it will work for me (disclaimer Essential Oils and/or reps cannot and do not diagnose or treat any medical conditions, see your doctor before going off or avoiding any prescribed meds I am not a doctor do not think I know it all, I am just a mom with an opinion and an ego).

I had a Zyto Scan which scans your energy field gives you oily suggestions to help re-balance and I had something like 37 things out of balance and the Zyto suggestion was Brain Power and Peppermint <SHOCKING>. I have both and I use them a lot. However recently I have forgotten to use my Brain Power and usually use Peppermint as a driver oil on everything else. Shocking that I would forget to use Brain Power, right?! Not really that shocking!

Anyway there is my day and now my blog. I am going to go be present with my husband and kids until we drop the kids off with Grandma!  Yay for Grandma sleepovers! Then later we are going to try some more moves from our new book! I am so excited to have no kids tonight...(I can use my Seahawks voice hehe)

Whew! Thank goodness for my coffee dates today and new oily friends! And for the Hubs for understanding my struggling this week and being patient about my craziness!  I love him Happy Friday Everyone!!!!

Hope you have some good weekend sex!

#Everyday2015

"X-Rated" Your Hump Day Challenge A Day Late

Happy Thursday Happy Day after Hump Day and a Hump Day Challenge. Last night the Hubs and I went on our "Date Night" I believe every couple should have a once a week date night. Even if it has to be date night in your living room. For Date Night this week we went to the mall and to our favorite restaurant Silver City (highly recommend Silver City Restaurant and Brewery) We had to go to the mall to get my glasses fixed and wondered a bit. Any reason to go to Silverdale for a meal at Silver City is all we need to make it our date night adventure! Love that place!

While in the mall we strolled through Spencer's. I heard someone say the other day that Spencer's has sex toys and books in there. I mentioned that I wanted to get sex dice for this week's Hump Day Challenge, so the Hub's suggested we go there and check the place out. I am glad we did. We not only found sex dice. (Did you know there are many different types of Sex dice?) We also found a book called 365 Sex Moves by Randi Foxx. I have never heard of this book before or Randi Foxx but this book called to me! Duh, obviously it would because I am doing Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday...365 days of sex so of course I want a 365 Sex Moves book! I grabbed it and flipped through it first

There are not only 365 creative, enticing and fun sex moves in multiple positions there are some amazing photos of each move and there are some great explanations of each move as well! All have very creative titles like 'Deep "C" Dive' 'Rock, Scissors, Pleasure' Parallel Parking' 'Peaks and Valley' for a few examples and are all numbered by day so I figured out that yesterday was the 50th day of the year so we tried the 50th move called X-rated. This is your Hump Day Challenge Here is the explanation from the book: "She's on her side with her legs apart. He comes up to meet her in a slightly reclined pose. They lace their legs under and over, making and "X". Penetration angles can be altered with the slightest of movements." Great explanation right? It was fun to try and it was great to have a picture to help, This is your Hump Day Challenge for this week. I was going to make it more detailed but really how can I get more detailed than that? I did a quick Google search for a website for Randi Foxx and did not find one so here is a picture of the book and you can choose your own way of finding or purchasing it, if you'd like.

 

There are some really great moves in this book. There are so many things I want to try! I will be referring to this book for inspiration for this blog as well as to add spice to my sex life and to keep Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday interesting. If only someone could write a book so intriguing about Washing Clothes, with pictures as good, my life would be heaven. ....hey, I think I just got an idea for my first book (wink).

So there you have it X-rated try it see how you like it. I am going to try it again and adjust for positioning of my bum hip. I will figure it out before the end of this year...or my hip will get better! I can't wait to try another new move! I am so excited! Have a great day my friends! Enjoy!

#Everyday2015

Mom Life on Fat Tuesday

Happy Tuesday everyone! It's Fat Tuesday...Does that mean much to anyone? Do people really indulge the night before giving up something for lent? Maybe I should try this phenomena ... lent giving up something for is it still 40 days and 40 nights? I did dry January maybe I should do it for lent too, maybe I will just give up junk food, that is different that alcohol and there are no waivers allowed in lent either.... I have never been Catholic so I don't really know. Friends who I know are don't usually do Fat Tuesday but I know a friend who gave up swearing, using cuss words, for the duration of lent year. Every time she said a cuss word she had to put a quarter in the jar...Fuck! that would cost a lot of money. Actually at the time she did it I was telling her "man I have started cussing so much more lately." She said "I know me too, why do you think I did this?" I asked what she planned to do with the cussing fines, I would use it for new shoes or a trip or something, but she decided she would give it to the church. Oh yeah, that's what lent is for anyway isn't it?...

For this Fat Tuesday I am going to a team mom meeting to plan and end of season party, wonder if I can convince the mom's to take a celebratory shot, you know we should shouldn't we? It is Fat Tuesday, that's what people do on this day right? ...Most of these mom's don't know me super well, so I will probably keep my mouth shut so not to seem like the token alcoholic, but you won't see me turning down another mom's suggestion to do so.... The restaurant is in walking distance to my house and is on my running route, so if we mom's get crazy, the Hubs could grab me on his way home from teaching tonight and I could fetch the car on my run tomorrow. Hey I just figured out how to make sure I get my run in! Yay me!!!  

Anyway, I am super excited to hang out with of one particular rock star mom tonight! She and I have chatted about needing a mom coffee date where we drink mimosas after sending the kids to school one day..it is no longer dry January and she is Catholic, so tonight might have to be "our night" if she is giving up drinking mimosas for lent. She does read my blog, at least use to, so, Dear Said Mom I am speaking of, if you are reading this before wrestling team mom meeting, we will be sneaking into the bar and taking a shot together!!!  Nudge nudge hint hint...you don't need to comment on the post, just wink at me when we make eye contact tonight lady! Fun times on the docket for tonight!

Don't judge me folks today I had a good mommy day. It was a day off for the kids, Hubs is back to work after the three day weekend but the kids had a four day weekend. I started off with strawberry, chocolate chip pancakes, scored mom points right there. Then we had to do Dr's appointment for the Boy and I but had a break in between and during the break we adventured out to take a walk on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge! (It was beautiful, we have had amazingly pretty sunny weather here in western Washington!) They had never done that, more mom points right? However I think they were more impressed with dad taking them on the roof top of a building he was working at over the weekend, Dad's are always way cooler (eye roll). Then after my Dr appointment (which my Dr wants to put me on Zoloft..ugh I am resisting Rx in hand though, topic for another day) we went to the kids favorite restaurant in that area where they can watch the cooks make their pizza and the cooks were prepping basil and mozzarella for that basil mozzarella cheese and tomato appetizer thing...(yeah you know what I mean who really knows what it is called anyway, I just eat it. Oh, I just looked it up, looks like it is called Tomato Basil Mozzarella Appetizer, who knew?) it smelled yummy as we waited for our food. So yes major more mom points! And it came with Gelato! Yay more mom points! Have I mentioned my kids love language is food?

It was a great day for my kids and this here momma and still not over! Gotta go get the sitter for this evening since the Gramma forgot she can't do it, so instead of having 2 hours to blog and do some power cleaning I now only have about an hour but will probably stretch that to an hour and a half and not have as much time to get where I am going. It is just right around the corner! I did start laundry and if I get home in time to get the sitter home before the Hubs gets home, I am planning a surprise night for the hubby to come home to me sitting in my favorite comer of the couch sans clothing! ....ooh that is unless I do end up taking too many shots with the team moms and need him to meet me at the bar and pick me up...either way I guarantee he will enjoy whatever happens. And, I already got the OK from the sitter to stay out late because she is now home schooled and her mom says she can be a late night sitter if I need, any time, let's hope tonight counts as anytime (wink wink)

So Happy Fat Tuesday to you all enjoy your day and regardless of your religion indulge in something today, just because it was a beautiful day here and you deserve it, I scored enough mom points to share with you. So you can have some of mine!

#Everyday2015

One Beautiful Day Bonding

It is Monday at 7pm! It feels like Sunday since it was a three day weekend. Which I love and it is awesome to have the whole Fambam together, however it messes with my weekly schedule! It was beautiful day today here in Western Washington! So beautiful that, this whole weekend that we spent pretty much all day yesterday and all day today as a family outside cleaning up the yard and getting it ready for spring. We usually are already into baseball season by the time the weather is good for doing what we did today so it is a nice bonus to get going. We are going to have a good yard again this year!

It is about 2 weeks in the countdown until I go back to work two days a week. My "boss" has already offered to pay for a spot in the B & I to help me get a practice up and going and I am ready! However, I have a long list of projects that need to get done here around the house before the beginning of March. I should make a list... I need to clear clutter off my dresser in the master bedroom, clean the end of the hope chest out at the end of the hallway and figure out a better flow for that area, organize my baking cabinet and the kids craft stuff, and organize the linen closet... I will get this done and be ready with a clean organized house to go back to work. Then when I start working I will utilize every day I am off to be productive, and still have time for our girls lunch on Friday afternoons!  ...a girl can dream right? Problem being I like to chill on the couch and procrastinate, I won't have that time to do so once I start back to work.So I will need to make every effort to be on task like every good mom does...haha right?

We got a good start today, I feel ready to go for the week. The family had some good family bonding time, over arguing who picked up more leaves and filling 14 55 gallon bags full of yard waste! What, not every family bonds this way? I should keep up on the house and yard work so we have more time together as a family. Wait...if I did that when would we get time to bond?! The Girl would be too busy painting her nails, The Boy would be playing video games and The Hubs would be schooling the Boy on the new Forza and I would be doing dishes and folding clothes....so yea I would prefer to argue over who picked up more pine cones... I am looking forward to the next day we all spend all day in the yard! I love those times! A family outing for just because would be fun too. No, I am not talking about a baseball game or dance performance or a trip to Seattle for mommy to do a run. A day to just go play as a family.... but yeah, we are busy and driven and our family thrives on those moments of busy-ness and we love every second so we will enjoy them as they come and just sit and dream about just going out just for fun... in the words of Matisuahu "One Day" (that is the song the Girl's dance team competes in the Lyrical division).

I love my life!  I love my family! I love my husband! I love my kids! I love my blog! Have a great week everyone! Happy Monday!

#Everyday2015

Do You and Your Lover Speak the Same Language?

Happy Valentines Day!!! I hope you all get a chance to enjoy and love each other! Valentine's Day is for lovers but also for families and people to have a reason to show love. What are you doing for your love today? What about for your kids, your mom, your friends? No, I am not suggesting you go out and buy a lame card or candy for everyone you love. Just think about a way to show your love to the ones you love.

I usually make Chocolate covered Strawberries or Cake or some sweet treat (and I wonder why I have a weight issue) I do show my love a lot in food. What love language is food? Acts of Service or Gifts? I usually make it and decorate and spend lots of time on a good meal and/or a pretty dessert. I think it might be a combination of Acts of Service and Gifts Given. What is your love language? Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time or Physical Touch? I am not an expert on Gary Chapman's Love Languages, however it is an interesting phenomenon (disclaimer, I have read The Five Love Languages of Children, not the original book). I think that whole concept is interesting.  I definitely show love to my husband (and everyone else) in my love language. I have a hard time figuring out what his love language is because I speak in mine. Not that I haven't tried to figure him out. He is a Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service type. I am a words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch type depending on the day... see, it is so clear why wouldn't I just speak love in my husband's language.

It's because I am me. I speak in my language not that I don't try to learn and know him and his language. Point being....Love languages are great. I believe that everyone has a special love language and that it is important to be aware of and a good thing to learn. I have tried and will continue to work on it but there is no magical answer for being in a relationship. My husband may think he is doing great letting me know I am loved and then I drop a ball saying you never say nice things (he does but I don't hear it sometimes)!!! See, if I am a Words of Affirmation type and he is showing me love with Physical Touch we are not speaking the same language and what he has done for me doesn't speak the same as what he wants it to. And the opposite is true when I do things of love for him that he may not recognize! For Example, I make great meals and slave away trying to cook and show my love and all he wants is for me to be naked waiting for him on the couch. IN cases like this all we want is to be noticed that we are trying and to be loved! If we both step back and realize what the others love language is, instead of waiting for them to show us the way we want to be shown love, look for them to show love in their natural way it would bridge a massive gap in most relationships!

If you can see what your partners love language is, don't expect them to change for you, look for them to show you in their love language, appreciate it, even if it's not your love language. If you appreciate and give them the acknowledgement that you know they are trying maybe they will try to go out of their comfort zone and speak in your language. But that is not the easiest for them, try not to be too hard on your love. I guarantee they currently showing you love in their very own love language, you just have to open your eyes to see. The same way you show them love in your language but if you go that extra mile to show them love in their language...You have reached your pot of gold, there will be much rewards for you ... hubba hubba.(Dirty minds there are other rewards to it too!)

Go show your love love today! Look for your love to show you in their love language and if they are speaking in your love language acknowledge that is mastery and don't take it for granted! Enjoy it and work hard to love your spouse and to see your spouse loving you! It is happening, open your eyes, he loves you, you love him. Show it and go forth and love and be loved! Remember there are many ways to show love. The 5 love languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time are all ways to show and express and speak love. Your lover and you can connect on all 5 levels, you should. There is one that stands out more for each individual but your lover and you may speak love in different ways. Instead of trying to change your lover to speak your way, just know there are many ways to express and show love. Look for those ways in your lover to show you their own way. You show love your way but try to make an effort to speak his/her language. If you are looking for it, you will find it, open up to your lovers way of being loved and they will open up to you!

This is sounding a lot like love advice (Boo that) and I am not sure I am making sense. What I am trying to say is learn your lovers love language so you can interpret their attempts to show you love. Not so that you can change to be what they want or so they will change to better fit you. Don't make or expect your lover to change to better fit what you are, accept them for who they are. Don't expect your lover to change for you. They will return the favor and accept you for you. The reason you fell in love is because of who each of you organically are. Love in your language and let them love in theirs! Enjoy Valentine's Day lovers!

#Everyday2015

To Read or Not To Read

So I was getting ready to go out for a run, I really need a run! As I sat down on the toilet for my last pee before heading out, I opened up Facebook, yes I am guilty of Facebooking on the toilet, don't judge me, you are too! Anyway, as I was scrolling through I came across an article about Fifty Shades of Grey and how it is bad for marriages. I disagree with this article and with anyone judging what is good for or not good for any marriage that is not theirs. My marriage is mine to manage and your marriage is yours to manage. I am trying to be careful not to offend anyone..aka not lose followers or readers... but we all know that I am slightly incapable of doing so, so I should just say what I feel. Which is what will happen anyway, I will try to leave the justification out of it and the attempt to make me feel like there is no way you can judge me negatively because of my view point and all my back up justifications about my opinion. Basically you may disagree and if so, know that it is OK with me for you to disagree. You don't have to do things my way. You do you! Do what works for you and your marriage.

So, it was said that "Fifty Shades of Grey" or any erotica or pornography leads to sexual desire outside your marriage. I can see that if the person is doing this alone or with someone that is not their partner. However I believe the opposite when done together. The Hubs and I use porn at times to help our stimulate our sexual desire. It is not causing anything except the two of us getting excited for each other. Maybe I am completely off base and I just have the wool pulled over my face but reading sexual stories or looking at sexually charged images are not giving me a desire for the dude in the picture or anyone else for that matter. It is giving me ideas of what we can do for and with The Hubs who is right there with me. I think, if used properly a couple can stimulate their marriage and keep attraction to each other high by these tools. Does this make me an adulterer? I don't think so.

I started to read the Fifty Shades book, I liked it. I got to the middle of the book right around the contract area for those who have read it and kind of lost interest actually, no, I got busy or something. I have ADD it is hard for me to finish any books, and I would rather spend the time reading stories with my husband and having our own romantic and sexual explorations with him than read it in a book. And for him it was too slow to read together. So for me Fifty Shades of Grey didn't intercept my sexual attention or any of my attention from him anyway. For my single friend, one who read it and the rest of the trilogy, she loved them and couldn't put them down, partly because she was alone most of the time because she didn't have a husband to play with at night or during down times. But no one will ever convince me that erotica is bad for a marriage especially when the Hubs and I enjoy each other so much. As for my single friend I don't think it affected her relationships except to give her some things she would like to try with her next BF or maybe one day a husband.

Life is tough! We have jobs, bills, rooms to clean, laundry to get done, dishes, someone has to make dinner, kids to get to practices, the Hubs coaches 2 out three of the Boy's sports he is busy with work and he teaches classes in his trade and I am a mom do I need to say more...runny noses, kids being mean to my kids...the list goes on. By the time kids get to bed at 9 or so we are both tired. Porn or erotic stories spice up our lives and gives us that energy to put into each other sexually. Our sex life started out rocky. It kind of sucked! I think that growing up afraid of sex, which I don't think was all bad, I didn't end up a pregnant teen or with a man who doesn't love me, but that made it hard for me to get into sex as a young adult. So, when the Hubs and I were together and become adults and start to have sex, I was afraid of it. I was taught sex was bad. You don't have sex unless you are married but once you are married what do you do and how does it become good? A dilemma that will stick with me as I raise my children into adults. How to raise smart kids who don't get pregnant but not make them afraid of sex...

I also know that not having experience prior to meeting and marrying my husband led to a little bit of awkwardness and not knowing how to get what I wanted or being able to tell the Hubs about it. Talking about sex was taboo, just as sex was taboo and when I made that transition into adulthood, no one gave me permission to be okay with sex so I really never was. Until one day, who knows what happened I don't but I just was OK with it. (I think a quick talk to an older sister of a high school beau of mine helped that transition a bit) At first, sex hurt, I had sexual dysfunction as a 21 year old! Thankful for Berman and Berman two Doctor sisters who had done studies on Sexual dysfunction in women! I happen to watch them on Oprah and learned a lot of the mechanics of sex and sexual dysfunction but still had reservations. Sex finally got good after the birth of my second child when I finally got into it. I don't know what shifted but that is when I finally got pleasure and wanted to have sex. I have always been told sex is good but I hadn't really felt that until then. I don't know what switched in me. I think it was me realizing I was an adult and it was okay to make up my own mind and believe what I felt was right not just what someone else told me to believe was right. I became of woman right then!

Sex is very intimate and emotional but there are also those times it is raw and emotion free and just feels good! I never understood the idea of friends with benefits or people who could just have one night stands but now I do. It took me long time for that. Not that I advocate cheating but I have heard men (and women too) say I just wanted sex, my wife won't give it to me so I went to a brothel or people who claim "it was just sex". Is that even real? Part of me says no not possible but I do know now that I think it is. I have learned with the Hubs that there are times I want to punch him because he makes me so mad and I hate him so much (the P!NK song True Love explains this to a T) but put me in the corner of the couch and I can forget that in just a few short seconds of his hands and his tongue and his manness on and in my body!

Yes sometimes we use porn to spice up our sexual game. Desire sometimes is hard when you have a crazy busy life. I know you mom's have been in the act and heard the dryer go off and just wanted him to finish so you could get them before they have wrinkles on them and the clothes in the washer need to be switched over so you don't forget and end up with that old laundry smell on your clothes. Or as your husband when your husband are in doing it doggy style and you are looking at his pile of clothes he throws on the floor next to your bed, "are those clean or dirty?" We have all been there, if you say no I bet you are lying! Porn helps get be in the moment. We'll use the laptop laying in bed and talk about tattoos we see on people and "OMG can you believe that make up" and then "wow, that looks interesting..." and we have to try it, or sometimes it is just a little flick of the finger oooh that was nice and he and I are locked on each other and forget what is going on on the screen.... Don't tell me this is bad for my marriage. We have great sex and yes sometimes we fantasize about things that are not politically correct but we are together every night we are not off searching out those fantasies or pleasuring by ourselves we share in it and enjoy every minute!

So take this however you like. Read Fifty Shades, watch porn, go to strip clubs or don't. I believe it can be a good tool in a marriage to draw you close together, to get over the hump....hehe I said hump....of daily life and get back to the sex kittens you once were or maybe you never were or never lost that in each other. If Fifty Shades gets your wife hot and ready to go for you, wouldn't you want her to read it? If it makes it so she is reading and spending all her time with B.O.B. then, I agree it would be bad in that situation and you need help. So, ladies let your man join in on the fun of Fifty Shades...apparently there are toys that are in the book available online, or go to Lovers Package or find some sexual enhancing products. Do whatever it takes to be hot for your lover! Never underestimate the power of good sex with your spouse! I don't think there is anything that helps a couple's relationship more than sex, Good Sex! However that has to happen, why question it? Isn't this a big reason we get married, for a live in Fuck Buddy and Cuddle Partner all in one, who is there with you every night! My husband is my best friend so he is a Friend with benefits and boy do I take advantage of those benefits when I need to and I let him take advantage of mine!

#Everyday2015

And I still have time for a run!

You Have To Watch The Dance!

Happy Friday! It is the first Dance Competition day of the year! Happy Competition Day! Can the Girl break the year of the 2nds and get a 1st? I think she can. Her solo is beautiful, a contemporary to a cover of Awol Nation's Sail by Lizzy Land. So today we are prepping and primping and getting stage ready! I had to iron/pressed out a costume with lots of pick ups and roushing. OMG what a pain in the ASS! But it looks so pretty now. I hated it  before I pressed it. Before the attention I gave it pressing with iron on low setting then holding it up and checking to make sure it was perfect, almost perfect anyway. It is brown and it looked like a wrinkled up paper bag but after some time and patience at the ironing board pressing and turning and spinning and smoothing out it looks so good! From drab to fab in just a swipes of the iron and time.

It is very metaphorical. To take a costume that is a silky rayon type fabric with overlays of tool and pick ups that looks all crunchy and wrinkly, like a paper lunch bag at the end of a day and make it look flowy and smooth so it will move beautifully with the dance the way it was intended. A little attention to detail armed with an iron and the costume is in it's original form of beauty, the way it was intended. We as people are the same way.

We tend to neglect each other and ourselves. We get crunchy, grumpy and bitter. Like we were packaged up in a bag to fit as small as possible so shipping charges would be minimal. We fold in as much as we can in the little time we have between work and school and taking kids to practices and rehearsals and getting groceries and cooking dinner and slamming it down our throats and off to a volunteer meeting. Most of us take little time to enjoy the good stuff, what time is there? How often do you step back to enjoy your kids in their element or you husband or wife in theirs? We balance our check books while we "watch" practice or better we fill the time by scrolling through social media. Then we wonder why the kids and husband are a bit crunchy at the end of the day...maybe it's you not them?

Can you realize that with a little attention they smooth out and look pretty. You take time on your hair so it doesn't frizz (if you are one who doesn't slow down and do so!) so why don't we take time on our relationships to smooth them out too? All it takes is attention, time and patience, there is no secret sauce or special class to take. The Hubs would say "slow down to go faster" you can't iron a roushed skirt with pick ups fast. If you do what is the point? You must slow down smooth it out and then iron it. Then move the skirt to just the right spot and iron just so. Do this with your life! Make everything in your life beautiful all it takes is attention and time and you, being present. You don't have to know how, you just have to slow down, use your instincts with the goal of making it beautiful!

You could say stop and smell the roses. I say watch the dance. We have spent the good part of the last 8 months getting ready for this day. The first competition day. Most of the work has been by the girl practicing learning choreographing the dance. But we have paid the bills, bought the costumes, pressed the costumes downloaded the music for her to practice, taken her to her rehearsals everyday and some weekends juggling it with the boy's schedule, it has been a labor for the Earl's as a whole family, not just the Girl. We have taken time to iron out all the details and made it beautiful. What we paid for, was not only dance lessons and choreography but for the opportunity to see our commitment show up on stage, and to be judged, we paid for our girl to learn dance and gain poise and personality and confidence, the most expensive show ticket ever but my mommy heart says it is worth it. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought of how beautiful she will be! We will all be proud! But it is almost meaningless if we don't stop to admire our work! We have to WATCH THE DANCE! I took a picture when I was done ironing that costume today. Sometimes you have to admire your hard work and look where you came from (I wish I took a before picture). Sometimes you have to post those pictures too! For everyone to share in your excitement and joy and pride and let your friends and support group give you the atta boys, that you most definitely deserve, and let them experience the beauty that is YOUR dance!

So today I am going to WATCH THE DANCE! I can't wait to see her on stage and hear what the judges say! I hope they love it as much as I will and I hope she knows that she is always a Titanium in my book (Titanium is the highest mark you can get, it's usually Platinum and that would be awesome to but this competition gives one higher for those scoring 98-100). I am proud for her just getting up there putting in the effort and putting up with all the ironing all the shifting stepping back and finding more wrinkles that need to be ironed out, be it practicing dance getting the right facial or her part in convincing the Hubs and I that it is worth the time effort and money from the family for her to do this, this is a family effort and it will be a family celebration.

Where does your life need attention? Are your paying attention to those details, pick out the wrinkles and iron them out. The end result is so worth the effort! Now get to ironing folks!

#Everyday2015

Back To Work In A Month

So I am struggling today. Yesterday if you read past the end of my post in the "PS" section I revealed I am going back to work in the office I left almost a year ago, they are excited about that and so am I! I am a Massage Therapist and can't wait to getting back to doing what I love and what I am good at twice a week! However, every experiment of me going back to work since I have had kids, has ended in realizing my family needs me at home so I go back home to be a stay at home full time mom. Usually starts with or involves my house being less clean and organized, me feeling mom guilt by not being able to be at the kids and hubs beck and call and just plain blah don't have me time, I don't have family time and I don't have cleaning time. Which is why almost a year ago I decided I needed to be at home. I have missed my work. I miss seeing clients and knowing that I have made their day better. I miss knowing what I am doing and how to fix the problem in front of me and not having to fight with myself to accomplish tasks. When I do massage I am an expert! I have a lot of experience and training and I have even taught massage.

So since it will be less than a month when I go back to work, only two days a week and only during the hours that the kids are at school, I feel the need to get the house super clean and organized. It is a big fucking overwhelming task! All I can do is sit back and be irritated that I have so much to do and I don't know where to start. I want someone to come rescue me, the way my mom used to come rescue me when I would forget something at home she always brought it to school for me. I know I just have to do it, so why is it so hard for me to just do it?! Come on seriously Ruby WTF?!  I probably sound like an annoying whiner, especially to you moms who are already working and doing everything! Or to you men who get up and go to work everyday only to come home to a wife who has been home all day and you think we doing nothing. I hate myself feeling the way I feel right now. I hate myself for writing about it and not just doing it too! 

I want so badly to help my family in so many ways. So why don't I? I want to fix everything that is wrong or hard in this family. I want to make a little more money to help to take pressure off the hubs so he can be able to do whatever he wants for us and not have to worry about how the bills will get paid after. That financial freedom we had before we had kids and both of us had well paying full time jobs. I want to organize this house and cook food for the family so that we are all healthy. I want to be able to hug and love and take all the bad stuff away. So why is it so fucking hard for me to just put clothes away? The hubs works his ass off for us at work. At work he is the one who goes in and rescues all the problems he is an expert at his job. He is the one they call to fix the tough problems I am sure it is stressful for him to get all the hard stuff to do. So when I struggle actually getting my measly tasks done around the house I can understand why he is frustrated because he has struggled getting all the hard stuff done at his job. I am so frustrated. 

I love writing about it, why cant I just harness this energy and get the shit done? I am a great complainer. I love planning things and making lists I am good at the planning! I have a good vision of what I want and need to do. I suck at time management and breaking down the tasks so they are manageable and struggle focusing and follow through. I want my house organized and perfectly running smoothly, why wouldn't I want to just fold the clothes and wash the dishes. Why do I avoid those tasks?

Am I the only one that does this? I struggle letting my husband know I appreciate him. I know he wants a clean house and organized place to come home to but he has a forgetful wife who gets caught up in the moment and forgets things like to put the preplanned out meal in the crock pot and then has to get dinner ready all frazzled. I had great intentions but one misstep and the whole thing is fucked! Why and how I do I do this to myself. Why is it so hard? What makes me think I can go back to work a few days and week and do this with two less days a week when I can't do it without working?! Obviously, being a stay at home mom has not been the magic answer. I really hate myself on some days...many days. Go clean the bathtub that's what you need to do, organize your closet and put the clothes away and then vacuum. There now you are worthy! What The FUCK?! This is what goes on in my head!

Logically I know that I am worthy of love and everything that I get from my husband and the world. However, most times I feel that I am not, so what do I do to make up for that. Many times that means overly explaining and justifying my opinion to people like a grocery store cashier who I do not owe an explanation for anything to! Or it means trading sexual favors so the hubs can have a release and forget that the house is a bit chaotic. Or it means making the Girl dinner before she goes to dance and then eating mine cold after I get back. I can't make up for not being perfect for everyone. All I can do is be me and do me as best as I can. Honestly, am I alone in feeling like I don't know who or what the real me is? Am I as worthy of love as my house is clean? Am I as good as I am organized? or am I as frail as I am frazzled? I love my family, I love being a stay at home mom but I can't focus on the house and my duties to save my life...well maybe to save my life. I can clean like no ones business if I am pissed! When the hubs and I get in arguments I clean, drives him crazy but helps me not explode and blow up and scream at him we haven't argued like that in a long time...maybe because when we fight it is because the house is not clean and his anxiety about the craziness creeps up on him and my defensiveness creeps up on me and my frustration with my time management issues bother me as much as they do him...

Anyway this blog is brought up because I have a lot of shit to do and need to get to it so I will stop sulking and bitching and go do it! I will do this! I will make sure I learn to love myself even with dirty dished in the sink. I will put those plans into action one of these days but today I will just go do!

Or I will say Fuck It and it will be a sexual favors for the hubs kind of night! ;)  Either way I will love myself and my negativity will go away. I will love me and not with food or drink just love me! I am going to go get my Essential Oils Brain Power and En-R-Gee! Let's do this! Go Ruby!

#Everyday2015

Love This Hump Day With Your Mouth XXX

Today is hump day! Happy Hump Day! I love hump day! I love saying "happy hump day". I like the little mystery of the word hump.  Hehe, I get kind of giggly like a Jr High Schooler when someone says happy hump day or even when I say it. Because for me, Hump Day means "hump" as in humping, having sex, intercourse or you know my favorite word...Fucking! Yes, everyday is hump day for this girl, now, but before Sex Love and Washing Clothes started the Hubs and I were still, almost daily people, but if we took a day or two off due to being tired or busy or lazy we would usually pick back up on Wednesday because, duh it's hump day, you have to! So for my blog and to keep things exciting, I am going to try to have challenges or suggestions every Hump Day.

This hump day I will start off easy-ish, however I do understand, for some it will be super tough for many different reasons, some simple and some deeper. You may have to figure out how to power through and really work through your issues. Most of us have done this one, and hopefully at least you have experienced it. This is my February 4, 2015 Hump Day Challenge: pleasure your lover with your mouth and then let them return the pleasure! If you are cringing or holding back because of childhood or religious shame issue or you think it's dirty or the taste doesn't suit you or you just can't "do it" ...Power and/or work through it and just do it! There should be no shame in doing what you want with and for your partner in your bedroom. Especially if it feels good and you both enjoy it. Everyone has there likes and dislikes, give it a good honest college try and decide for yourself. Let your inhibitions go, no one is watching (Lock your door) and no one will know. No one is judging, if it feels good, your doing it right. If it is not feeling right, partners, speak up give suggestions or at least let your partner know what is not working. If you are the one giving pleasure and your partner gives you feedback, don't get defensive or take it personal, the goal is for your partner to enjoy what you are doing to them. Communicate, enjoy your partner, feel free to laugh at yourselves when you can't seem to get it, basically, RELAX!

Now when I say pleasure your lover, it does not have to be start to finish. Feel free to work into it. It's called foreplay, start out with a sweet kiss when you first see your lover tonight. Then a longer kiss and really get into that make out session don't be afraid to grope and/or pet (you know heavy petting) your partner. Your kissing and making out will help warm up your jaw and lubricate your mouth so you are ready to go down. When you get there think about as making out with you husband's cock, husbands make out with your wife's pussy...oooh can I say those things? Yes, I can! I just did! And you can do those things too! I like the warm up of a make out because it starts that connection and I love love love to kiss and make out especially when it progresses to more than just a make out session. Oral sex takes you places you may never have been! If you have been there, you know what I am saying, maybe it's just been a while, maybe not just take advantage of this hump day challenge. Oral sex is something that is fun, erotic and sexy and it creates a different kind of connection, both on the emotional and physical level. When my husband pleasures me like this I usually get to the place where I lose all inhibitions around sex. I get dirty and loud and feel sexy and I talk dirty and say things I would not any other time. He loves that sexy part about me, which is probably why he is so giving and lets me experience it so much! Being in that moment of sexual ecstasy you lose those inhibitions it is kind of like being drunk, but it is healthy, does not kill your liver and you could drive after, but who would want to. That is what I am challenging you to do to your lover tonight! Relax enough to lose your inhibitions when it is his turn to please you. If you get really adventurous, you could try going down on each other at the same time. Some refer to it as 69ing (I personally am not a huge fan of 69ing the positioning is hard to get and I like to focus on what I am doing and what is being done to me and I lose the ability to focus when I get to that sweet spot). Whatever you do, relax, enjoy it and let go!

A few tips, I am not a sex expert I am just a wife who has read a few books and articles and got feedback from my husband, don't be afraid to do a google search for help, just go into a private browser so when your kids go on your computer they won't accidentally follow your search.

On the man,

• Be careful with your teeth, relax your jaw, take breaks, use your tongue and lick up and down like a lollipop, it doesn't have to be sucking and all deep throat all the time
• Don't worry about being quiet, feel free to slurp and gag and be sloppy, guys like that sound. 
• Wrap your hand around the shaft and stroke up and down and around. 
• Play with his balls a little he will like that too 

When going down on her,

• Make out with her pussy. 
• Use your tongue all over down there, but don't be afraid to suck a little on the clitoris, 
• Add a little finger (or two or even a toy) inside her to stimulate the G-spot as your make out with her down south region. 
• Try humming or grunting , the vibration of your voice humming or grunting will make your lady's eyes roll back and be ready, she may grab your head and/or pull your hair! 

For both: 

• Nipple stimulation goes well with oral sex for both men and women
• When your partner is working on you feel free to touch the giver, be sexy and be connected, men, be careful not to push down to hard on your partners head while some might like it a lot but it will possibly make her gag and clench up and you may feel her teeth. Communications is key here. It is probably a bit of a turn off her.  Let your lady run her mouth up and down on your shaft at her pace.
• Run your fingers through your partners hair and maybe even pull it slightly. Grasp and play with their earlobes too, that's sexy

I hope this helps excite your hump day and your sex life. If there are any of you who are once a weekers, or less (gasp) try my Hump Day Challenges! You never know you may find something that you both like! The Hump Day Challenge is just a suggestion. There is no way it can be done wrong unless you don't have fun or if you don't try it or if you end up in a fight (relax and go with something you are both comfortable with). You don't have to go start to finish orally to successfully complete this challenge. You just have to try! Enjoy your mate love him/her see if you like to pleasure or be pleasured more, you may be surprised. Focus today on pleasuring your partner make him/her feel that ecstasy that leads to a release and the inhibitions go away and your see the real person you are with. You express your love for him/her and he/she expresses their love to you in a raw and real way. Let that draw you closer hold on to that feeling and that will keep you strong in your relationship. Love you lover with all your heart soul and mind and today also with your mouth!

#Everday2015

P.S. Update From yesterday: Today I don't feel as productive as yesterday. I don't feel the drive I felt yesterday. However I don't feel completely downer as I have normally. Today is Wednesday, my volunteer day at school, so I don't have the freedom of having all day to get shit done. So like normal, I tend to look at my schedule as full when really I was today only at school until 11:30. And even if I was there longer, I need to remind myself that there is still a lot that can be done even in a short 15 minute span of time around the house. For Sex Love and Washing Clothes I think I am going to start making checklists or guides for myself to help accomplish stuff during the week. Especially since I will be also rejoining the ranks of working moms again. WHAT?! Yes, you heard that right, I am going to go back to work at the office I recently (last April) left to focus on my family and house. I will be there Tuesday and Thursdays during school hours so I don't have to worry about childcare ect. So all the more reason to get my shit together so I have a better guide and plan to get stuff done.

Do You Love Your Crazy?

Happy productive Tuesday! I am feeling inspired today. I have no idea why! I am having a productive day! It is a big accomplishment for me to have gotten laundry going, towels folded, swept and cleaned behind the fridge and stove and swept and scrubbed the floor and lower cabinet doors in the kitchen, cleaned the top of the fridge, most of that was done before the kids went to school and it's not even late start day) Today I have also vacuumed, went grocery shopping and have purchased groceries for the whole week of meals planned for me by eMeals.com and put that stuff away and I had a Physical Therapy appointment as well. I think that this is weird and kind of sad that I am celebratory about this. I feel so unproductive most days but today I have felt driven and focused and accomplished. Where did this come from?

I guess I shouldn't question it. I just want to know what started this because I want it to continue! For me to be driven enough to get tasks done before the kids even go to school is awesome. I always think the night before that I should do that more but never actually get motivated enough to do so. I am so excited that I didn't even have to try hard to stay focused or get moving! Normally I sit on the couch drinking coffee and get sleepy siting here waiting for time to get the kids up. Sometimes that is when i do my blog but I wasn't feeling it today I got up and made breakfast and commenced some cleaning.

Is this what normal people are like. They just get up and do what needs to be done, when they have the time and need to do it? A normal person doesn't have to convince themselves to get up and get shit done. I love that I got stuff done I hope that is how everyday goes. I want to be this woman everyday. A woman who does what's on her list without having to look at it. (Shit, I just realized a few things I needed to do and one other thing I can't for the life of me remember what it was. I know it was a phone call I had to make.) Regardless I like how it felt today and I like how I feel right now knowing it was a productive day. I hope it continues tomorrow.

I am hoping to keep this flow going and see where it takes me. I have towels to put away a load of laundry to fold and put away but I have already done the Hubs' work clothes (which got started this AM) they are already hanging up (I even remembered to buy more hangers so when I am caught up on laundry everything has a hanger to hang on in my closet). I have to look at my recipe for dinner tonight and decide and figure out which meal I am making tonight. Did I tell you I have dinner purchased and bought for the whole week? I only spent $151 for meals for the whole week because I had a list and plan normally at the grocery store for a weeks worth it is at least 50% more. I am hoping to keep this great juju going!

I even feel this hint of horny sexual energy. Which I haven't noticed for a while. The last few weeks it has felt slightly repetitive and boring or forced (kind of but not really)... not because I don't or haven't wanted to have sex but because it has been expected (not by the hubs, by me) and it has been a little mechanical, monotonous, repetitive, forced, weird...I don't know what the right word is I usually do get in the mood with some good fore play though. Even right now, thinking of having sex with my husband right now I am getting a little tingly down there. Which I haven't lately so whatever hormonal or chemical or head thing has been going on is getting straightened out. YAY! Please God let this stay!

I am going to focus on the positive and be thankful, I will update you tomorrow! Hope you all have a great day. I am hoping that tonight will bring some good energy in the bedroom and I can blow my husband away the way I have blown myself away with all my progress today.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Or is it just me. I am proud of myself today and I will try to stop judging my crazy-self now. I really do love my crazy, just not all of it. So I am working on loving ALL of my crazy!

#Everyday2015

Don't Over Think Your Identity

Today my heart is heavy! My Seahawks lost the Superbowl. They had a great season. It was a good game! The last play of the game the Seahawks could have won it. Play called was a pass that was intercepted... So sad to lose the game. The Seattle Seahawks run the ball with Marshawn Lynch, that is what our identity is. Lynch had a great game running the ball. Beast Mode carries the Seahawks on his back, sometimes literally. My facebook post was "worst call ever" which I think I still believe. However, we play as a team. Marshawn does a lot for our team but even he would tell you he is not all the Seahawks have. We have great receivers as well and a great quarterback. If that play had gone the other way, we would say what a great call! The box was stacked with nine defenders ready to protect the End zone from the Beast Mode or Russell Wilson from the TD run! So it may have been a good call, you don't want them to leave the Patriots and Tom Brady time to mount a drive for a comeback. It is a head scratcher! 

Why didn't they do what we do? The Seahawks run the ball, we are a running team. Never change you for anything! We are a running team, we run the ball! But we do have Russell Wilson he is a good and a lot of great receivers! There are a lot of conspiracy theory's of why they didn't run. I have the benefit of having a coach in the house and as the Hubs said, as a coach that was not a bad call. If Lockette went harder for that ball he would have go another chance whether it be a PI call or he toughed it out so that Butler couldn't catch that ball... The Hubs was the first to say if he caught that ball we would be saying the exact opposite what a great call for the win, they caught the Pats off guard they weren't ready for it...but they were and we didn't score we turned the ball over. Then we still had a chance Tom Brady was poised to kneel down in the End Zone to give the Seahawks a safety then we could have got the ball back and possibly kicked a field goal for the win after a quick return of the drop kick that follows a Safety, but we jumped off sides to give the Pats 5 yards and steal the victory out of our own hands, once again! We lost the game.

They played a great game a great season. We kind of lost our identity there at the end but we play as a team! We win as a team and we lose as a team. The whole organization knows that. Richard Sherman said "we put ourselves in a spot where we could win the game, you can't ask for more than that" We cam up short. Pete Carroll took the blame. His words were "it was my fault" The Offensive Coordinator Derrell Bevell, the guy who actually calls the plays, Pete Carroll and Tom Cable also approve them but Bevell calls the plays. Bevell said in an interview (paraphrasing here) "Richardo Lockette should have tried harder to catch the ball." Are you Fucking kidding me Bevell? You're going to blame the guy on the field who got laid out in your stupid play call. Where is your team effort and your responsibility? You don't call out your players like that. You do what Pete did, it was my fault or you defend your call, you don't call out Lockette! I am not a fan of Bevell, haven't been for a while (Percy Harvin Jet Sweep calls ect) but that solidified my opinion of him! I can get on board with that call there were 9 men in the box and Lynch is 1 for 5 for scoring a TD run at the 1 yard line, so in theory a pass play may have been an alright call. Execution is key in that moment. But I want to win and we didn't so that opens up the questioning. Questioning the play call not the players.

Someone has to lose, something has always got to give! I am a sad fan and may not be making sense. It is hard to make sense of this for us die hards who just watched our team lose. Football represents more than just a game! There is so much metaphor in the game! I want to focus on this: Always do YOU! Seahawks identity is running the ball, but we also have great receivers and a good passing game. The Seahawks coaches over thought that play. How many times in life do we over-think and go outside of ourselves and our normal "identity" and we throw a proverbial interception in our lives. We forget an important piece and end up dropping the ball! This is really the story of my life. I have so many great plans, such drive and desire to do the right thing and then at the last minute plans get changed or something gets forgotten. Bottom line I drop the ball and the Hubs comes home with the house blown up in disaster! The kids arrive late for their practice or and important event or that important piece of paperwork is on the table. Sometimes I get so caught up I will read information wrong and truly mean to do the right thing and make plans to do so but I am doing it at the wrong time or the wrong day... Game planning is awesome and necessary but execution and following your true identity has to couple together with that game plan and a few stars also have to align for it to all go as planned! In life and football! We judge ourselves by our intentions but others judge us by our execution.

This 2nd place finish is sad. I was celebrating a 2nd place finish with my son's team after they lost the championship, they lost their identity on the field but came back strong and fell just short of an amazing come back! It is much easier when you are trying to teach young boys that there is life after a loss. The Seahawks 2nd place seems harder to take. I can step back and see we had an amazing season we have a great team and are poised to continue and be in the Superbowl next year too, but today...2nd place sucks! Don't lose sight of the how hard it is to be 2nd. In high school my drill team placed 2nd at Nationals, we couldn't have been more proud we had a great performance. The Hubs' Football team lost the State Championship game (won their League went undefeated that year) and I was proud of his team, The Boy's team was 2nd and my mommy heart welled up with pride. The Girl got 2nd place overall at Nationals for her solo this last year (1st in her category) The Ducks lost in the National Championship Game but were Pac 10 Champs and the Seahawks lost this Superbowl but are NFC Champs! Great seasons, great teams, great players and great coaches. It is not all about that final win or loss! It is a bout the journey and drive to come back stronger and better next time! 

Never give up and never discredit how hard you worked to get where you are! Always aim high, Shoot for the Moon even if you miss, you will still land among the stars! You may not get that trophy but you SHOULD be proud of your effort! Can't win them all. Gotta go back and play strong next year, or tomorrow or when ever you need to shine next. It's all about that action Boss! Go Seahawks!

Sex Love and Washing Clothes going strong in 2015 I am loving blogging everyday, having sex everyday and my house is getting attention everyday. I hope you are enjoying my blog and continue to read about my year. Feel free to share it with your friends on you favorite social media and leave comments. Who is joining me in Sex Love and Washing Clothes this year? Let me hear how you are doing feel free to email me or leave comments here!

#Everyday2015

Enjoy This Moment!

Today is the day before Super Bowl 49! I saw a picture a friend who is there posted and it was a sea of 12s! A 12 is a loyal Seahawks fan, loud and proud. The 12th Man helping the team win. We are loyal to our team and we are loud! It is kind of a perfect science being a 12, Paul Allen created our stadium for the 12s to maximize the volume but as a 12 the science is being loud as loud as you can, you have to make your voice last until the end of the game. It is knowing when to be loud, loud on defense quiet on offense. University of Phoenix Stadium is going to be loud! Go Hawks!

How loyal are you to your team? I got chills, goose bumps and tears (I am always really emotional) when I saw all the 12s in AZ! Win or lose I am a true 12 a fan! I am raising 2 more true 12s as well! I am connected to this team and have used the Seahawks team and their philosophies to motivate my kids and myself! This team, this game is a big thing in life, speaks to me on so many levels. I am sort of a crazy super fan. I get motivation, relief from stress, happiness and joy from the Seahawks football team. I get a family day tomorrow with my husband kids and one of my favorite girl friends and her family tomorrow because of it! I am so thankful for that!

This morning the Girl and I made two Seahawks themed cakes for a fundraiser Auction for her dance team (Seahawks are really infused in our lives). The Boy and Hubs were at baseball tryouts and now we are watching Superbowl coverage for tomorrows game! So excited for our team they deserve a great win! Superbowl Sunday really should be a national holiday! It is more versatile than any other holiday we nationally recognize. We will be glued to the TV and love every second of it! Use your Seahawks voice a lot it will be 8 months until you get to do it again!What is your ritual for good luck our is Good Luck Sex, of course it is right?  No pre-game pep talk needed! We will be having our Superbowl good luck sex and enjoy it and we will use our Seahawks voices, maybe Grandma will take the kids tonight.... Go get you some!

I am going to help the Girl curl her hair for a performance can't wait to watch her dance tonight! (I am a true 12 when watching her dance to, she is so good.) What a great two days I get. I am going to stay in and enjoy this moment!

#GoHawks 

#Everyday2015

Smells Like Procrastination

It is Super Bowl Blue Friday! It is the day before the day before The Super Bowl! My kids are decked out in their Blue Friday garb and we in the family are all in! I am so excited! I am also nervous but the nerves are getting overtaken with excitement. Which makes me scared! All the games I am nervous at we win.

It's time for the grind to payoff for the Seahawks.  For me it's time to grind too. Does anyone else do this on Fridays, you feel like it is time to grind out and clean the house. (Not that it ever gets done though.) I want to get in a get it spotless so that the Hubs can come home and be relaxed walking into a nice clean house, pretty wife quiet kids playing happily together...oh wait, I think that is an episode of Leave It To Beaver... But really I do want that to happen. Unfortunately I didn't get the house wife gene. I didn't get the drive to get up and clean, I got the drive to write about how inadequate I feel because I didn't get that gene. I got the gene to create fun and cute homemade and hand decorated cakes for birthdays and parties. I got the gene that says Fridays are for putting your feet up and going to lunch with your girlfriends. Basically got the gene that most of the time looks like sounds like and smells like procrastination. I am not proud of that but I do think that even with my procrastination gene I am a valuable member of this family and have a lot to contribute to this world. But I feel like it makes me less of a good mom, less of a good wife and not a role model worthy of writing a blog about Sex Love and Washing Clothes.

With that being said, I do write a blog titled Sex Love and Washing Clothes. I don't know how to write code or how to even get followers of my blog other than posting on Facebook and other social media outlets that my current real life friends read and laugh at and I am sure some have unfriended me and don't follow because I use words like Fuck It and talk about having sex with my husband as a way to make up for my inadequacies when it comes to house cleaning and procrastinating! I also write about having sex with my husband because it is fun. Maybe I write so that jaws will drop and the innocent straight laced good girl you once knew has sex and likes it, a lot! And we all know how mundane house keeping can be. With kids from the time when they are in diapers to preteens/tweens (what is the proper word for 9 and 10 now I am just too old to know) each milestone comes with a celebration and a harsh reality that it is a new challenge. Some milestones/stages are more time consuming, labor intensive and less expensive (actually nothing is less expensive things keep getting more expensive) but they are all challenging and we moms will always wonder if we are making the right decision.

Yesterday I shared a photo on Facebook (follow my Facebook page Sex Love and Washing Clothes) was a triangle on each point was one thing: Sanity, Happy kids, Clean House...you probably could say Happy family instead of kids. But it seems true and even sometimes it seems like there is only one option. A mom runs the family and, at least in this family, if I am stressed out that stresses out everyone else. If Hubs is stressed out it stresses me out but I feel like I have to hold it together for him because I do. I think, he has much more reasons to be stressed. After all he is the provider. If anything happened that made it so he couldn't provide he must think about that "what the fuck would my family do if I got hurt or lost my job?" That has got to be a load on his mind, so for me the stress of the kids not being able to go to the cool kids sleepover is not that big of a deal in the "big picture" but being the mom your heart hurts for your kids and you try to do both. Help the hubs and let the kids have their thing and clean your house and stay sane. But in reality, again....you or them cannot have it all!!!! That reality is a hard one to swallow.

Do you ever feel like you must choose who to make happy? That is a harsh way to say it, please don't get offended by this folks. And don't give me the you always have to take your kids side. Strong well grounded adults are grown from kids who don't always get there way and who realize there are sacrifices to be made in life. You cannot always fix things with ice cream and cookies. Sometimes you just have to be sad! Those are the days I choose to drink my water in a pretty wine glass! Even though I would love to fix my sadness with wine or chocolate (see yesterdays post about that) Sometimes I just have to decide somethings gotta give. Everyone has to make those decisions!

How did Super Bowl Blue Friday post digress to this! Here's my correlation, Russell Wilson is a Super Bowl winning Quarter Back in his 3rd year in the league. Many of the players from that winning team last year went late in the draft or were not selected in the draft, even Marshawn Lynch was rejected (sort of) from Buffalo they didn't want him and many people criticized the Seahawks for getting him with his broken leg injury and all. These players had to make sacrifices. It may be easy for all of us normal people, living paycheck to paycheck watching our fun money go to dance classes and sports cleats instead of weekends away with our lovers, to say that it is easy for them to make these sacrifices but bottom line is....they still have to make them. Many of these players spend their whole lives on the VMAC Campus. Watching Films, working out practicing. They sacrifice their family time, their lives for football, a game. Yes their jobs but it is still sacrifice the same way The Hubs sacrifices his time and his life for providing for this family, coaching athletics for The Boy and paying for the Girl (and me) to do dance. It is a choice that I know my husband is proud of, it is not glamorous but one day (he may not know it yet) he will look back and be proud that he did it. Only the toughest get to the Super Bowl. The Seahawks have put in the work. They have not seen their families as much as they could have. I bet many have decided to not start families or have an agreement with their family that time together will come after football. My point is we all have choices to make right now in the thick of it, grinding out every week it may suck but that win, which for us looks much less glamorous . It may be graduation day or may be watching our kids hoist the Lombardi trophy or maybe a less known trophy even a 2nd place Trophy, or get a scholarship or a big Little League win. That is when it will be worth it!

So keep grinding folks. We have Super Bowl moments everyday. I can't tell you how proud I am of my son when he gets a first down, or even just gets to touch the ball, and of my husband when his team "Does it" Whatever "it" may be. Sometimes the win is the First Down, depending on the team and the players. Truth is we don't coach a lot of Superbowl winners at the Pee Wee level but we celebrate their greatness. I sit here with tears in eyes of pride of how my husband in his first football season wrangled a group of 6-7 year olds their first season of tackle football and they actually knew the game! He not only taught those kids how to play and trust each-other he had to teach the parents how to trust him and that came in him doing what he does and trusting himself. The kids knew their roles on the football field he had faith in those kids. He sacrificed his golf night (as he has ever since) and his guy time playing pool with the boys. I probably shouldn't say this and I may get in trouble but I can tell that lately those sacrifices are wearing on him but what does he do....he goes out every season and does it again. I know one day he will sit back and be able to see his grind paid off and those were his Superbowl winning moments. He will not sit back and say "man I miss those golf nights, too bad" as much as he will be proud of the kids he has molded (both ours and those he coaches). He will remember big plays, but mostly I hope he remembers those moments of first time he got guys on his team to see their full potential. I know he will watch with pride as kids he coached first get their letters of acceptance or even sign commitments to colleges and some will scholarship and maybe just maybe he will see one of his athletes make it big! But that is not why he does it. He loves it and is incapable of not teaching these kids to reach their full potential by always doing their best, he does that by he himself putting 100% plus some into it. I am sure it is just like many of the Seahawks, Russell Wilson, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and Marshawn Lynch, to name a few, they don't know how not to do their best and put 100% plus some into everything they commit to! So, he will get up and go to work early so he can come home early enough work with the Boy getting ready for try outs, yes he will complain, but he will do it and that makes him a good dad and a good coach.

I will stop taking it personal and I will let him bitch, just like he lets me bitch about not being able to eat as much chocolate as I want. I need a way to learn to communicate that I understand him. Today, I will go clean this house so that he doesn't come home to chaos (well in the form of clutter scattered around the house Chaos is my middle name I think). He has said to me that coming home to a clean house helps to feel less chaotic. I know it is not my responsibility to manage my husbands or anyone else's emotions, but as a mom and wife I am sure you understand how we take all this on, maybe you can't that is just me. I choose to sacrifice my brain function to focus on this messiness and then I get to play (Super Bowl Cake decorating tonight). I will go make my sacrifice today, then later.....maybe a little mini vacation in the bedroom (since a real one is kind of out of the question right now) which will be much nicer to set the mood with less clutter! I am going to take a moment to take care of my husband as I know he is needing it. I appreciate all he does for this family and i know he appreciates my. Dear Hubs, I love you! You have done so much for me and that allows me to be the kind of wife I am for you. You have said I am the best thing that has happened to you and I want you to know I can only be as good as I am because I have you right behind me helping me and supporting me though! I love you with all my heart and I pray that you don't get upset at me for exposing you here today! I am so proud of all you do and I am happy you are on my team!!! ~Love Me.

#Everyday2015
#GoHawks

Turnover Thursday, Take Control!

Happy Blue Thursday! It's Turnover Thursday! Today I weighed myself and weighed in in the 160's!!!  First time in 2015 and only the second time in a very long time! Yay me! I don't like to share my weight but being that I share everything else why not? This last week has been a bit rough with "that time of the month" and a lot of cheat bites of cake or frosting or skittles! With the Seahawks being in the Super Bowl this weekend, Hell, just the Super Bowl parties in general makes it tough. In our culture, we celebrate everything with food. We also commiserate with food and we fill our boredom with food and procrastinate with food. We make memories with food. That, especially memory making, is not all bad. It started when our country was discovered during the first Thanksgiving ever! And let's not forget the Thanksgiving Celebration this year with Russell Wilson and Richard Sherman on the 50 yard line at Levi Stadium after the big win on Thanksgiving Day. I struggle with having a good relationship with food. The word moderation used to be my motto but then I realized I don't know how to exercise moderation in terms of food. So as you readers of this blog know I have restricted my food intake this month going no carbs and also doing "Dry January" both of those thing contributed to my weight loss of about 8 pounds so far this month.

What's a worry for me (yes I know worry is bad and serves no purpose) is that this weekend Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday and Februaury 1. The end of Dry January and No Carb January. My Seahawks are participating in this game (and I am super stoked and excited, as you all know already #GoHawks!) I am worried about tanking my weight loss track, I am worried if I eat too much I will not stay in the 160s and I am worried that if I don't eat this weekend I will never get to touch a Nacho ever again! OK, I know that sounds stupid but I think that is one thing that keeps me eating sometimes. (Again, yes this is very illogical but honestly it is a subconscious thing that people with bad relationships with food struggle with) I eat like I will never get another snack or treat again. If I could convince myself that food will always be there I don't need to stock up for the winter (or for the term of the diet) then I may have an easier time saying, no. And the fact that it will be February, I won't have Dry January to fall back on. Not that I can't avoid it just because, but this girl struggles telling herself no sometimes. But I will continue to go as I have during the last three months that I have lost about 25 pounds. I would like to be down 10-20 pounds more which would put me at my wedding weight I think I may be happy just being in the 150s.... But who knows I am the type who is never happy with the way I look. I will continue to work on that! I am proud of myself for where I am at now and almost enjoying clothes again!

Body image and self confidence is a subject that all women I believe struggle with! Confidence and Self Esteem, both things I want my daughter to learn better than I did. I was never taught that, my mom was never confident. I was not modeled any of that by my mom! (and The Girls is already on a better track than I was at her age thanks to dance and her ability to love herself and be proud of who she is I will take a bit of that credit too, but it probably comes from the Hubs) As I draw a connection to my blog post today to The Seahawks, those guys have confidence! They are good and they know it and they don't doubt themselves. They are good now but they like me, were not born good at football, they trained and learned and prepared and practiced and they continue to practice! They set themselves up with a game plan and don't waver and they bring home the win. I have planned and prepared meals, set aside time for workouts and have tried these last few months to prepare to be healthy and fit into my jeans! I will continue to do the same. My plan for this weekend to not tank my weight loss journey (which by the way when I get to my goal I will be getting a Seahawks inspired tattoo). My plan is to be prepared, to use my Emeals subscription to plan my meals and scheduling exercise. I am going to continue to use my Seahawks blinged out travel cup to get in enough water and when needed I will add and extra run in to intercept any extra calories trying to attaching to my hips (or something like that).

Bottom line I will use the model I see from the Seahawks to have a game plan  for success (meal planning, exercise, hydration) and I will tackle it and when I am down or get sacked I will get back up and keep my focus as this game and go for it! It is not over until it's over and I will be the Champion that I know I am! I can't wait for the game this weekend the Seahawks are going to play hard and do their best and, I think, beat the Pats! Even cheating teams, eh hem Patriots, will see this team is no joke! I don't know who will win, I hope it is the Seahawks, but I do know that my team will come out playing hard, hitting hard and bring 100% effort all the way to the end, I don't think anyone can beat them when they come out playing hard for each other and stay focused. So I will do the same I will work hard for me, no one (no food) can beat me when I go hard and stay focused! 

What part of your life do you need to take control over and stay focused to achieve? Game Plan, train and prepare to win! Always Compete! Today is Turnover Thursday, go get what is yours take it from the enemy and claim your prize, LOB style! Earn everything, you know you can! You deserve to take care of you! But if you need motivation look at your team around you (your family) and do it for them! They deserve you to be the best you, for them!

#Everyday2015

Go Hawks!

Competition Wednessday...Go Score

Happy Hump Day everyone! On Wednesdays I usually try to have a "Hump Day Challenge" or a topic on Sex (some weeks it comes up more than others). I am kind of struggling drawing a Seahawks and/or a Superbowl reference here to! It is Hump Day of Super Bowl Week! The Seahawks are in the Super Bowl prepping for a repeat as we speak. It is competition Wednesday! How can I draw the Seahawks, Super Bowl, Hump Day, Competition Wednesday and Sex together without it feeling like a stretch?..... I'll try, here goes nothing

How are we all doing on the #Everyday2015? Is anyone still in it? Have you done "it" 28 times this year? Well, I have! Sometimes I feel full of shit for writing this blog. When the Hubs and I are in daily life of normal family type things that are less than glamorous and we seem or feel in that moment less than happy, it is tough to spend any more moments trying to please the man (or him trying to please me.) We have done it though. We powered through a few nights and came out the other side and guess what, it made us closer and we are happier for it. We get into spats or mini sometimes major arguments that start because of thoughts like this: "I know I am working harder than he is because I am in here the kitchen cooking and cleaning after a day of grocery shopping, organizing, volunteering at school and then going to get the kid from practice getting their homework done and off to bed and finally at 9 or so I can sit down next to him and relax"...all the while he is thinking he is working harder than I am because he is getting up early going to work everyday then coming home and fixing the broken washing machine and then going to take a kid to practice and then finally at 9 he can finally sit down... Our stories are not very different. In actuality they sound very similar right? Well we have to stop being selfish! Both stories are right but why do we find the need to compare how hard we are working against how hard our spouse it working! I guarantee you are both putting in the same amount of effort. Maybe not on a physical level and maybe not completely even across the board everyday but you are both giving your lives 100% to your family in one way or another!

Let's take an example of our team! The Seahawks started out the season 3-3 and then went to 6-4. That was right about when analyst and band wagoners were counting them out. It was also right about when the team leaders got everyone together for a player only meeting to recommit to each other. They started playing the game FOR each other! Not just for themselves, not even for the win, for the love of their brothers. We all know how that ended(Superbowl baby!). When you stop looking over your shoulder and comparing what you are doing vs what your teammates are doing you. You get better. You can't control them anyway. You can only control you. If you know your teammate is giving 100% every play you don't want to be the guy to take a play off and give up a big play. You would let him down. You want to be the guy following the play through so you can help block or catch a tipped ball. When a teammate needs help you help him out you do it because you know he would do it for you! That is when you become unstoppable. That is why I believe the Seahawks will win the Super Bowl! The Defense has the back of the offense. Those players play for each other each play individually for the rest of the team. They have short memories of dropped balls and mistakes they are always looking at the goal that is a team win! They do not point fingers at the guy who dropped a ball or missed a tackle. They maintain trust, that when needed, that same teammate will come up big! Seahawks will win as team. We as couples and families need to win as a team

At sometimes during this month of Sex, Love and Washing Clothes I have thought that this was the answer to true happiness. It has not been bad for my life but it also has not been a magical pill, we still have to the work,  just like we did before! When the Hubs and I start keeping tally of what you did for me or what I did for you things go bad. As I am sure that happens to you too! We all need to remember we are on the same team. Yes right now I may be dropping the ball a little more than you or maybe you feel your spouse doesn't help out enough. Maybe your spouse is waiting for you to ask. It probably is miss communication and sometimes if you are like us trying to talk about that miss communication only creates more miss communication. Show your spouse you care about what is bothering them.

"In every complaint there is a deep personal longing." ~John Gottman 

Pay attention to your partners complaints what is there deep personal longing that they are needing to communicate but can't figure out how. Maybe they need more connection, maybe they are overworked at the office, maybe stressed about finances or maybe they just don't feel like you pay attention to them enough. Try to talk to them but also if you listen to their complaints (don't take them personal it's about them not you) and see if there is a way you can help come to a solution, ask them if there is a solution they are looking for. One solution may just be to have someone who will let them complain or even complain about the same thing along with them. That may help to bridge the divide that daily life stress causes!

My favorite advice: When in doubt have sex. Grab some erotic pictures off the internet, read erotic stories or make up your own with your mate. Get out the sex dice and put aside your differences and have a crazy fun romp. If time is an issue, go to bed earlier or invest in a lock for your door crank up the TV to muffle the noise and tell your kids you are off work for the night! But get in that positive touch somehow! Remember the person you fell in love with. The overworked under paid and overextended dad of your kids might not be too attractive right now but put him in a room with no distractions and give him your 100% naked body attention you may remember what the real Bare Necessities of life really are! So will he,hopefully he can turn off his brain for it, don't take it personal just give him time and be patient.

Go get you some tonight folks! Be in this moment like it is a 2 minute drill at the end of the 4th Quarter for the win of the Superbowl! It is competition Wednesday, make it competition worthy. If you want to compete with your spouse here are the parameters who can make the other one cringe with excitement better faster and longer hold it there for you to catch up and together let it go for a Score!
Go Hawks! Go Families! Go Couples!

#Everyday2015