Time To Plan a Reboot!

Today is Sunday! It is the day of the Daytona 500! I used to be stoked about that day but we have got busy and NASCAR became kind of boring lately, or maybe it is just boring when you can't follow and keep up with it, it can be very time consuming because it is a long season. But it is something to occupy Sunday's when nothing else is going on (I miss football) and you know me any reason to have a party! I think I will be going to get wings and snacks for the race, yes it has started already but it is the Daytona 500 it will be on for a while!

Today I am having a feeling that I don't want to do anything. I am having a hard time getting motivated. I just want to hang with my family. I have bridal shower for a great close and wonderful friend but I am not feeling social at all. I wonder if I can take her out for lunch or for drinks or something one day to make up for it. I have been busy and this weekend if you are a regular reader you have heard and seen with my late posts (9pm last night) is shows how busy I was. I think my friend will understand, I just don't know if I will. This is the struggle I have a lot of times. It is an important day, your bridal shower day, but family is important and I haven't had time with the Hubs or the boy at all this weekend, and next weekend the Girl and I will be at a dance convention so probably won't see them next week either. I need some quality time with them. But my friend will only have one Bridal Shower, ever but I am pretty sure she knows the struggle and always is understanding. She is one who I feel is honest with me when she can't make something happen with me and I can be honest with her too. Anyway I will be contemplating this all day.

I have had a lot going on and love it. However, I want some down time. I want a day that the Hubs and I can just lay in bed all day. When we have those days, we don't just lay in bed all day, we fuck, we make love, and we have sex. Yes those are pretty much the same thing but are also very different! I love the days you don't have to decide which one you will have to do. You can have crazy mad love take a cuddle break and then just be raw and fuck and then repeat as desired, and then, right before you get up at 5 pm or so, you can end it with "Let's have sex one last time" just to finish off. I want that day where we have no kids home or even coming home. Where we get up at 5 pm right before we get ready to go out to dinner and a date then come home and have crazy mad fucking love again before we go to sleep. Maybe even have some outdoor naked time... just have more than 24 hours to do nothing unless we want to and have no responsibilities! Grams and Gramps will be home from AZ soon and I am sure we can talk to them about taking the kiddos for a weekend or so, wonder if I can talk the Hubs into letting the Boy skip a Saturday Baseball practice.... 

A mini vacation to Vegas or Portland would be fun too. We have to decide do we want to take some of the time to drive or fly to a location or just to be lazy... Hmmm.... But then we would have to pay for  it too...

I think this may sound like I am complaining. I am just having a rough time and I think a little vacation or break might be needed! I love my life, being a stay at home mom (soon to be part time working mom), having my kids busy and being proud of them, taking care of the house being there to give the Hubs a kiss when he comes in the door ... I do love everything about my life. Sometimes we all get overwhelmed and I am starting to realize that, I need a reboot! We all do. Sometimes we need to get creative to make it happen due to schedules, finances, kids, jobs etc. But bottom line, I am right there needing that reboot. I need to make it happen ASAP before things get too bad and I end up hating my life or at least before I get resentful about all the things that stress me out! So in the next month I need to make my reboot happen! I need to make that a priority because if I need it, I bet the Hubs does too!

Time to plan a reboot and be able to be 100% happy in my life and not make excuses to not participate with people I love and in activities that I love because I am overwhelmed! Plan to succeed in life and right now to succeed a reboot is necessary! Even just the planning will help relieve the stress and overwhelm feeling, just don't over plan and make that stressful (I never do that...yes, that was sarcasm). Basically I need to plan a weekend for the 'Rents to take the kiddos the rest will just happen! Happy Rebooting folks! Today I will just be, and not beat myself for the things I cannot do. I am only one person I do need to take care of me and the rest will understand! Love you all and Happy Bridal Shower Day to my friend!

P.S. This was kind of a ramble today... I know that it is a bit of a bi-product of how I am feeling overwhelmed and not 100% into anything lately. Hope you enjoy it and I have a hunch many of you can relate, which is why you read in the first place, right?

#Everyday2015

All We Need Is Love...Right?

(OMG I just went on this whole rant and forgot it is Wednesday which means Hump Day Challenge...oops. This week's Hump Day Challenge will be tomorrow, my bad I have real work to do around my house and errands, tomorrow folks....it will be good I promise)

Happy Ash Wednessday! (do people say that I hope i am not offending anyone) Now, I am not Catholic but I am giving up white flour and sugary carbs and candy for lent! I have already kept myself from consuming an English muffin and Nutella this morning for lent. I am so out of control with my food issues that I need something to commit to and rules to follow to make good food choices. After Easter (which is when lent ends right?) I will make slow reintroduction and not over indulge in theses types of foods or use them to comfort and/or calm my emotions...that's gonna take work for now I will just follow my lent rules. I could have promise to do laundry everyday...oh weight I already did that...LOL

A week and a half to two weeks from now I will be a part time working full time mom. The Hubs reminded me of that and I got this depressed feeling that over came me. I don't know if I will ever like that Working mom or part time title nor will I ever get my house running like the well oil machine that I want. My Doc yesterday suggested I try taking sertraline an oral medication to help with what she calls my "overwhelm" and to see if helps me over the hump. I am scared to death to take depression drugs. My Doc says I have this overwhelm which leads to anxiety about what is not getting done which leads to depression. Ok, makes sense but is there really a magic pill? Do I have to take it?

I am scared it is going to cause me to have horrible thoughts of suicide which it says has happened in some users or that I am going to forget to take it and go on a crazy killing spree like in an article that I have read about. In said article the author referred to every mass killing suspect has been on some sort of mental health drug. Which is the reason I took myself off Ritalin for my ADD (I think on ly one was related to Ritalin). I hate the pharmaceutical option for every single ailment we have in this day and age! I want to wake up and be normal and do what I want because the human body is a miraculous thing and works so well or does it? I don't want to have to take drugs or even supplements. I use Essential Oils which are great but once again I don't want to have to take something every day! However I would like to feel "normal" and not need to use food or drink for comfort or argue with my self to get out and run and clean my house and do what I need to do....

I want to believe I can regulate my moods and everyone can fix there problems with diet, exercise, natural things from the earth like essential oils ect... Problem being you actually have to eat right, exercise. What about if your ailment is a problem in the actual get up and go, to do what is right then what the fuck is a person to do? And how about those of us who forget to take their meds? ...Oh my gosh this whole writing might be convincing me that I do need to be on something to be normal! But how is "normal"  taking drugs to regulate or alter your brains chemistry?! Can we adjust our lives, our expectations of people to accept them the way they are rather than force them to be "normal"? If we all could go with the flow and pick up the slack where the others leave and not get bitter about it....Fuck that will never happen, we do need medications so that we crazies don't irritate the normals of the world. Or are the normals of the world the ones who need to be medicated or at least be less irritated?!

Tolerance is what we need. Regulation is what we need. Balance is what we need! Maybe some of us need outside help, in the form of correct nutrition, essential oils or supplements or even medication to achieve that balance. I am currently struggling with ego right now, I think! I hate the whole trial and error with meds. I just want an easy answer. I am encouraged to know many of my fellow "crazies" (please don't take offense to that term it is very much a term of endearment) have used medication and have normalized their life and many have only had to use them to get over a hump, which if I do finally decide to try the meds this will be my intentional plan as well. To the normals of the world please understand, to us crazies you are the ones who are crazy. We can't figure out how you are normal. We love you very much and we pray that we could be more like you everyday, but know that together we create balance. Let's be nicer to each other and understand each others world as much as possible and then maybe just maybe, then we could lose the label of crazies and normals and just be humans. We all have challenges, lets love each other out of them, instead of medicating each other out of them!

All we need is love, ditch the ego. Fuck stress have more sex...(I have wanted to use that line for weeks it seemed to fit here) Have a great rest of the day lovely's!

#Everyday2015

Do You and Your Lover Speak the Same Language?

Happy Valentines Day!!! I hope you all get a chance to enjoy and love each other! Valentine's Day is for lovers but also for families and people to have a reason to show love. What are you doing for your love today? What about for your kids, your mom, your friends? No, I am not suggesting you go out and buy a lame card or candy for everyone you love. Just think about a way to show your love to the ones you love.

I usually make Chocolate covered Strawberries or Cake or some sweet treat (and I wonder why I have a weight issue) I do show my love a lot in food. What love language is food? Acts of Service or Gifts? I usually make it and decorate and spend lots of time on a good meal and/or a pretty dessert. I think it might be a combination of Acts of Service and Gifts Given. What is your love language? Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time or Physical Touch? I am not an expert on Gary Chapman's Love Languages, however it is an interesting phenomenon (disclaimer, I have read The Five Love Languages of Children, not the original book). I think that whole concept is interesting.  I definitely show love to my husband (and everyone else) in my love language. I have a hard time figuring out what his love language is because I speak in mine. Not that I haven't tried to figure him out. He is a Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service type. I am a words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch type depending on the day... see, it is so clear why wouldn't I just speak love in my husband's language.

It's because I am me. I speak in my language not that I don't try to learn and know him and his language. Point being....Love languages are great. I believe that everyone has a special love language and that it is important to be aware of and a good thing to learn. I have tried and will continue to work on it but there is no magical answer for being in a relationship. My husband may think he is doing great letting me know I am loved and then I drop a ball saying you never say nice things (he does but I don't hear it sometimes)!!! See, if I am a Words of Affirmation type and he is showing me love with Physical Touch we are not speaking the same language and what he has done for me doesn't speak the same as what he wants it to. And the opposite is true when I do things of love for him that he may not recognize! For Example, I make great meals and slave away trying to cook and show my love and all he wants is for me to be naked waiting for him on the couch. IN cases like this all we want is to be noticed that we are trying and to be loved! If we both step back and realize what the others love language is, instead of waiting for them to show us the way we want to be shown love, look for them to show love in their natural way it would bridge a massive gap in most relationships!

If you can see what your partners love language is, don't expect them to change for you, look for them to show you in their love language, appreciate it, even if it's not your love language. If you appreciate and give them the acknowledgement that you know they are trying maybe they will try to go out of their comfort zone and speak in your language. But that is not the easiest for them, try not to be too hard on your love. I guarantee they currently showing you love in their very own love language, you just have to open your eyes to see. The same way you show them love in your language but if you go that extra mile to show them love in their language...You have reached your pot of gold, there will be much rewards for you ... hubba hubba.(Dirty minds there are other rewards to it too!)

Go show your love love today! Look for your love to show you in their love language and if they are speaking in your love language acknowledge that is mastery and don't take it for granted! Enjoy it and work hard to love your spouse and to see your spouse loving you! It is happening, open your eyes, he loves you, you love him. Show it and go forth and love and be loved! Remember there are many ways to show love. The 5 love languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time are all ways to show and express and speak love. Your lover and you can connect on all 5 levels, you should. There is one that stands out more for each individual but your lover and you may speak love in different ways. Instead of trying to change your lover to speak your way, just know there are many ways to express and show love. Look for those ways in your lover to show you their own way. You show love your way but try to make an effort to speak his/her language. If you are looking for it, you will find it, open up to your lovers way of being loved and they will open up to you!

This is sounding a lot like love advice (Boo that) and I am not sure I am making sense. What I am trying to say is learn your lovers love language so you can interpret their attempts to show you love. Not so that you can change to be what they want or so they will change to better fit you. Don't make or expect your lover to change to better fit what you are, accept them for who they are. Don't expect your lover to change for you. They will return the favor and accept you for you. The reason you fell in love is because of who each of you organically are. Love in your language and let them love in theirs! Enjoy Valentine's Day lovers!

#Everyday2015

Let Yourself Be Loved When You Can't Love Yourself

OMG!!! I posted then, lost my post when I came into the Blogger app to edit a typo! Fuck!!! Which means my final draft that was so awesome, is not the same F!...I need to learn how to sync these things better.... Here it goes again...

Happy Thursday! I have a head ache today! Ugh! Yesterday I was in a foul mood today it's a head ache, I am struggling with my weight loss goals, can I complain anymore? I did have a great date night last night! During the day, I text the hubs about how crappy I was feeling. I gave him the proverbial heads up that I was in a foul mood, I couldn't get my shit together and I was feeling bad about it. He gave me the much needed moral support I was needing! I still am in a mood today but today I have a better overall aspect on life. That is why I have the Hubs, to pick me up when I am down!

I am trying not to be down on myself and to get as much done as possible and be productive everyday! I want my house to be spotless all the time, but we live here and I take moments to enjoy my family. The Hubs and I do a date night once a week, I hang at practices for a few extra minutes and go to all of the games and performances that I can. I also take time to sit next to the Hubs in the evening so we get some connection and/or together time. So I have the time from when the Hubs leaves for work and when the kids go to school to get my house work done. I try not to "work" when the Hubs is home, however, sometimes it's a decision of leaving a mess or working while the Hubs is home I do both depending on the day. He enjoys that I take time to spend with him. He also is okay with me being determined to get the house together as well. He does prefer me to work while he works but also knows that when it counts the stuff will get done! I am getting there. My house is cleaner than ever even though it is not spotless. Is anyone's house spotless all the time? I always feel like there is a trade off. Either you are frantically cleaning all the time or there is always a but of a mess.

We live here and we live with each other. There is not one person here that is always working. We all out in work and we all deserve down time too. Yes, we are busy and sometimes the dishes are in the sink for a couple days because of that. I choose to spend time with the Hubs instead of obsessing about cleaning all the time. I figure, as long as the counter tops are usable, dishes are clean when you put food on them and everyone has clean underwear (even if it means getting it out of the dryer) and everyone is enjoying life and each other, then my job is well done. My grandma may argue that I need to do more or that it is unacceptable to leave clothes in the laundry overnight, but she doesn't live here and I know what matters. People matter, family matter, love matters, enjoying moments with each other everyday matters! Those clothes will get done even if it has to wait until tomorrow. One day the kids will enjoy that I took time with them instead of stressing about laundry every second of every day!

The Hubs is proud of me. I hear that he brags to our friends about how I do take care of the family and the house. Even though he does sometimes think I could be more efficient (he is right) but in the long run when he steps back he is proud of me. He likes that I have balance to work when it needs to be done, I can knock out power cleaning when I need to, if I want to. I think it means a lot to him to know that I will take time to enjoy him even when the house is a disaster, as long as we have a room that is clean that we don't have to look right at the mess we're good, he appreciates that too.

I am working on balance. This week I have not been super good at it, my house is not spotless, I have a head ache and am tired this week, but I am trying to accept myself and be loving to me and get as much done as possible but also enjoy the family and accept that I cannot do it all and when I make a decision that results in things not getting done I am going to accept it and not beat myself up. I am working on accepting me and loving me and loving my family through it.

I need to work on writing lists to keep me on task. I also need to work on eating well as that affects my motivation and drive and mood and I can tell that my tiredness is being caused by poor food choices. I have a lot to work on but mainely I need to work on accepting and being okay with myself today and this week. How are you doing? Are you taking care of your family? Your House? Most importantly are you taking care of you? The latter is the most important! If you are not loving you don't expect anyone else to! Yesterday I was not loving myself too much. I sent that text to the Hubs and he made it clear to me that he loves me no matter what and he is there to help and support me when I need it, I just have to reach out to him. Although when he is there for me it is important that I remember not to be too hard on myself. I believe you can block love from others if you are filled with too much self loathing. The Hubs came through for me with a date night and good attitude adjustment, love him. Glad he was in the mood to be there for me when I couldn't shake myself out of that self loathing! Love yourself enough to allow those who love you to pick you up when you need it! Be open for love all the time someone will for sure come through for you! If no one does contact me I will give you pep talk! Choose to be happy!!!!

#Everyday2015

To Read or Not To Read

So I was getting ready to go out for a run, I really need a run! As I sat down on the toilet for my last pee before heading out, I opened up Facebook, yes I am guilty of Facebooking on the toilet, don't judge me, you are too! Anyway, as I was scrolling through I came across an article about Fifty Shades of Grey and how it is bad for marriages. I disagree with this article and with anyone judging what is good for or not good for any marriage that is not theirs. My marriage is mine to manage and your marriage is yours to manage. I am trying to be careful not to offend anyone..aka not lose followers or readers... but we all know that I am slightly incapable of doing so, so I should just say what I feel. Which is what will happen anyway, I will try to leave the justification out of it and the attempt to make me feel like there is no way you can judge me negatively because of my view point and all my back up justifications about my opinion. Basically you may disagree and if so, know that it is OK with me for you to disagree. You don't have to do things my way. You do you! Do what works for you and your marriage.

So, it was said that "Fifty Shades of Grey" or any erotica or pornography leads to sexual desire outside your marriage. I can see that if the person is doing this alone or with someone that is not their partner. However I believe the opposite when done together. The Hubs and I use porn at times to help our stimulate our sexual desire. It is not causing anything except the two of us getting excited for each other. Maybe I am completely off base and I just have the wool pulled over my face but reading sexual stories or looking at sexually charged images are not giving me a desire for the dude in the picture or anyone else for that matter. It is giving me ideas of what we can do for and with The Hubs who is right there with me. I think, if used properly a couple can stimulate their marriage and keep attraction to each other high by these tools. Does this make me an adulterer? I don't think so.

I started to read the Fifty Shades book, I liked it. I got to the middle of the book right around the contract area for those who have read it and kind of lost interest actually, no, I got busy or something. I have ADD it is hard for me to finish any books, and I would rather spend the time reading stories with my husband and having our own romantic and sexual explorations with him than read it in a book. And for him it was too slow to read together. So for me Fifty Shades of Grey didn't intercept my sexual attention or any of my attention from him anyway. For my single friend, one who read it and the rest of the trilogy, she loved them and couldn't put them down, partly because she was alone most of the time because she didn't have a husband to play with at night or during down times. But no one will ever convince me that erotica is bad for a marriage especially when the Hubs and I enjoy each other so much. As for my single friend I don't think it affected her relationships except to give her some things she would like to try with her next BF or maybe one day a husband.

Life is tough! We have jobs, bills, rooms to clean, laundry to get done, dishes, someone has to make dinner, kids to get to practices, the Hubs coaches 2 out three of the Boy's sports he is busy with work and he teaches classes in his trade and I am a mom do I need to say more...runny noses, kids being mean to my kids...the list goes on. By the time kids get to bed at 9 or so we are both tired. Porn or erotic stories spice up our lives and gives us that energy to put into each other sexually. Our sex life started out rocky. It kind of sucked! I think that growing up afraid of sex, which I don't think was all bad, I didn't end up a pregnant teen or with a man who doesn't love me, but that made it hard for me to get into sex as a young adult. So, when the Hubs and I were together and become adults and start to have sex, I was afraid of it. I was taught sex was bad. You don't have sex unless you are married but once you are married what do you do and how does it become good? A dilemma that will stick with me as I raise my children into adults. How to raise smart kids who don't get pregnant but not make them afraid of sex...

I also know that not having experience prior to meeting and marrying my husband led to a little bit of awkwardness and not knowing how to get what I wanted or being able to tell the Hubs about it. Talking about sex was taboo, just as sex was taboo and when I made that transition into adulthood, no one gave me permission to be okay with sex so I really never was. Until one day, who knows what happened I don't but I just was OK with it. (I think a quick talk to an older sister of a high school beau of mine helped that transition a bit) At first, sex hurt, I had sexual dysfunction as a 21 year old! Thankful for Berman and Berman two Doctor sisters who had done studies on Sexual dysfunction in women! I happen to watch them on Oprah and learned a lot of the mechanics of sex and sexual dysfunction but still had reservations. Sex finally got good after the birth of my second child when I finally got into it. I don't know what shifted but that is when I finally got pleasure and wanted to have sex. I have always been told sex is good but I hadn't really felt that until then. I don't know what switched in me. I think it was me realizing I was an adult and it was okay to make up my own mind and believe what I felt was right not just what someone else told me to believe was right. I became of woman right then!

Sex is very intimate and emotional but there are also those times it is raw and emotion free and just feels good! I never understood the idea of friends with benefits or people who could just have one night stands but now I do. It took me long time for that. Not that I advocate cheating but I have heard men (and women too) say I just wanted sex, my wife won't give it to me so I went to a brothel or people who claim "it was just sex". Is that even real? Part of me says no not possible but I do know now that I think it is. I have learned with the Hubs that there are times I want to punch him because he makes me so mad and I hate him so much (the P!NK song True Love explains this to a T) but put me in the corner of the couch and I can forget that in just a few short seconds of his hands and his tongue and his manness on and in my body!

Yes sometimes we use porn to spice up our sexual game. Desire sometimes is hard when you have a crazy busy life. I know you mom's have been in the act and heard the dryer go off and just wanted him to finish so you could get them before they have wrinkles on them and the clothes in the washer need to be switched over so you don't forget and end up with that old laundry smell on your clothes. Or as your husband when your husband are in doing it doggy style and you are looking at his pile of clothes he throws on the floor next to your bed, "are those clean or dirty?" We have all been there, if you say no I bet you are lying! Porn helps get be in the moment. We'll use the laptop laying in bed and talk about tattoos we see on people and "OMG can you believe that make up" and then "wow, that looks interesting..." and we have to try it, or sometimes it is just a little flick of the finger oooh that was nice and he and I are locked on each other and forget what is going on on the screen.... Don't tell me this is bad for my marriage. We have great sex and yes sometimes we fantasize about things that are not politically correct but we are together every night we are not off searching out those fantasies or pleasuring by ourselves we share in it and enjoy every minute!

So take this however you like. Read Fifty Shades, watch porn, go to strip clubs or don't. I believe it can be a good tool in a marriage to draw you close together, to get over the hump....hehe I said hump....of daily life and get back to the sex kittens you once were or maybe you never were or never lost that in each other. If Fifty Shades gets your wife hot and ready to go for you, wouldn't you want her to read it? If it makes it so she is reading and spending all her time with B.O.B. then, I agree it would be bad in that situation and you need help. So, ladies let your man join in on the fun of Fifty Shades...apparently there are toys that are in the book available online, or go to Lovers Package or find some sexual enhancing products. Do whatever it takes to be hot for your lover! Never underestimate the power of good sex with your spouse! I don't think there is anything that helps a couple's relationship more than sex, Good Sex! However that has to happen, why question it? Isn't this a big reason we get married, for a live in Fuck Buddy and Cuddle Partner all in one, who is there with you every night! My husband is my best friend so he is a Friend with benefits and boy do I take advantage of those benefits when I need to and I let him take advantage of mine!

#Everyday2015

And I still have time for a run!

Do you ever get that feeling....

Do you ever get that feeling that you know you need to get up and get motivated but just can't. That feeling that you could be doing things better or different but just can't muster the energy to do so. And then that feeling that you are so angry with yourself for letting yourself down. When you do that to your self, I call it self sabotage. You are not letting your mom, your kids or your husband down or the friend who is never there for you anyway, you are letting yourself down. (Who is always there) Why can't we get motivated to take care of ourselves the way we take care of others. If someone is counting on us to babysit or to teach a class or to make the neighbor a healthy dinner after a rough loss in the family, we pull out all the stops, we even get out good dishes out that have to be hand washed. But when it's time for us to eat alone we grab chips or leftovers from the other night that hopefully have not grown hair or bacteria that will get us sick. Don't worry we will microwave it and that will kill all the germs right? Why would we not do the best for ourselves?

We know that we feel better when we get up and workout so why do we get up eat donuts and sugar laden coffee and then complain that we feel shitty? It's fucking bull shit people. Sorry for the harsh language but come on! You know I am talking about you! We sit on the couch and complain that we are not seeing our friends or family enough but we are too cheap or lazy to go visit them! Yeah maybe we are busy and need down time but don't use that as an excuse to blame everyone else and not take care of you! It is our sole responsibility to take care of number 1 (my dad taught me that, or at least tried I did not learn it very well). So why do we allow ourselves to let ourselves go?

When I say let ourselves go I mean more than gaining a few pounds and not wearing makeup or nice clothes. I mean getting to the point that we are not happy! We sit and eat the rest of the chocolate cake instead of cleaning the kitchen or going for a walk. We sit and watch reality TV instead of getting up and getting in the shower to get ourselves presentable for the rest of the world. (I am not saying you have to dress to the nines or even dress to impress) I am referring to those stay home moms who yes do a lot and we are allowed and have the freedom to sit on the couch and relax when we feel overwhelmed but we don't have to look it. And we don't have to  and no one is looking because really we do most of our "work" when everyone is home, running to practices, making and cleaning up dinner bed time routines etc. And if you are like me you like to hang with the family especially that time that we get next to my amazing husband cuddling on the couch.

You know that feeling you get when you want to cry but you don't know why? Yeah, me too. But you know what in reality, it is not that we don't know why. At least for me I now why I want to cry I just don't want to admit it. A lot of the time it is me I have let myself down.

Here are a few suggestions, in no particular order, to snapping yourself out of this. Start today, start slow or dive in head first who cares just make progress, and no crying on the couch eating chocolate cake is not progress (all though it fills the void you will only be crying about it later too):

1. Get a massage, or meditate take time to refocus your brain
2. Grind it out (just do it clean the house or get in your 4 miler! I know easier said than done)
3. Give yourself time limits on certain distracting activities. If you know you love to sew but need to cook dinner give yourself a timer so that you can enjoy your sewing but be done with ample time to make dinner
4. HAVE A PLAN (my struggle I have the big bubble thoughts in my head that sound great but don't plan it out so it ends up just bubble thougths in my head)
5. Delegate! Give you kids and husband jobs. Preassigned or just as needed. (if the husband is down with that. If he is not okay with that don't give him jobs if he is not you don't want your kids to see him not doing his "job" and use that as an excuse sometimes the working full time thing is enough for the husband to do, and sometimes you need help. If you ask I bet he will be more than willing to help but this sometimes can be a touchy subject so proceed with caution and really be respectful, you don't want to be the mommy wife, but if the kids are protesting start taking away privileges, one privilege is they get to live in this house for free not that you can take that away but remind them of it!!!!)
6. Last but not least....get an attitude adjustment! Yes "That" kind of attitude adjustment. If needed get Grandma, farm them off to a friend, or hire an overnight nanny and go to a hotel. Or use a lock on your door and have that kind of crazy relaxing passionate love making sex that you lay back and go..."WOW"
7. Or when all else fails out a smile on your face and as Dori says "Just Keep Swimming"

So time to strap up the big girl bra and get cracking. I am putting on my Young Living En-R-Gee Essential Oil (motivation in a bottle) and Brain Power (focus in a bottle) and getting to work! No more whining and feeling sorry for me and no more letting myself down! We need to treat ourselves the way we treat everyone else. We are not lazy when it comes to work (if you work out of the home or when you did) we don't go lazy when it comes to kids or helping friends or husband now let's stop going lazy when it comes to ourselves. So get a shower put on clothes and maybe even cute shoes (we don't wear shows in the house) I will be proud of my work today and I will take into consideration the state of myself and honor me! I will Love me and always do my best and give myself the benefit of the doubt! I am going to do me today. Go do you today! Take care of you! My business cards used to say "take the time to take care of you!" It's time to once again recommit to that!

I could really use a good attitude Adjustment! (Hint hint to you Hubs, wink wink) But writing this and coming back to read it is helping me get motivated, I hope it helps you too! Have a great day, you deserve it and deserve to be loved by you, not just by your kids and husband. Those who created you (your parents) and those you created life with (spouse) and those you gave life to (your kids) deserve to have a teammate in you and not be carrying you through life without your help. Love yourself the way they love you and the way you love them!

That is your challenge today on this hump day: Love you and show your family that you do! Please share with me what you are doing to take care of you today!

#Everyday2015

Smile, The Next Best Thing To Do With Your Lips

Happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday! What a crazy weekend. Between the Seahawks winning back to back NFC Championships, the kids and The Hubs having Monday off and me kind of taking the weekend off...I am overwhelmed and spent! I need a weekend from my weekend!

I have like negative 20 minutes left to get a days worth of stuff done so this blog will be short and sweet.  I have been slacking on the "washing clothes" part of my life. (I am writing this as the sink fills to wash dishes that include those left from the Boy's sleepover Friday night). So I am making that a priority today! I am going to refocus and recommit to washing clothes and cleaning house everyday, no more off days or leaving dishes in the sink overnight! The "Love" part is fine. I love my life, Love my Seahawks (Superbowl!!! Whoo Hooo!!!!!!!) And love my kids, getting ready for Sleepover round two this weekend to finish what they started last Friday! And the Hubs and I are set for a date night at Lowe's to pick out cabinets to go in the newly organized Laundry Room. The "sex" part is fine, we had a bit of a hitch (not that we didn't follow through we just had our first real fight (over pretty much nothing) of the year and well we (I) were in a cuddly mood not a two a day mood when we went to bed last night, (good thing for morning sex yesterday and husband who is great at cuddling).

In the midst of my dull-drums today, I sent a "pick me up" photo to the Hubs. Sometimes the thought of him getting my "pick me up photos" (if you don't know those are the kind you can't show your boss or anyone else) makes me giggle and smile a bit, picks me up too. I wonder who is with him?Does he blush or tell his work partners what was in that text message from the Wife? I feel like it was a pick me up for me more than him, sometimes. Him getting my topless photo, as much as I know he likes getting my fun photos at work, picks me up too especially when it is a day where I am getting in the tanning bed because I am feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and I am needing a pick me up, almost as much as it does him. I know it makes him smile, because he tells me sometimes with a fun text back and sometimes when we are sitting on the couch out of the blue just so I know he likes it. I think he knows if I know that he likes it I will do it more. Which, nothing could be more true!

So today folks tell your mate what you like.  What picks you up for the day. Can they help you out maybe when you get in a mood tell your spouse you need a pick me up and they can send your favorite quote or a topless photo or a cute animal pic what ever makes you smile. If you mate knows then they are armed the ability to be there even in the virtual world to make you smile! Because we all know the smiling is the second best thing to do with your lips!

#Everyday2015

Don't Judge, Be Happy

It is day 15!!!  Two solid weeks I have been in 2015 had sex with my husband everyday and I have cleaned some part of my house and/or did laundry and I have stuck to my diet plan and I have written in the blog omitted drinking so far this year! EVERYDAY because I wanted to. We are closer and happier than we were on Christmas day! I have changed a lot, my husband has changed a lot, and our relationship has changed. Not only because of Sex Love and Washing Clothes, well maybe, but there is a shift that has happened in the last few weeks, months or days... We have been working on our relationship with a therapist but there was always something that would creep up and cause conflict between us. We have always had great sex! We sometimes would argue about sex. It would be about our poor communication around sex. The Hubs was my first, I never learned how to tell someone what I wanted or liked sexually. I think there is a part of me that always kind of expect him to just know. Well, guess what, they don't just know. We wives have to tell our husbands what we want. I think in a way he doesn't or didn't really know how to tell me what he wanted, either. And to be honest I was never really easy to talk to about what he wanted, but now I am asking him everyday what do you think how should we? And he is saying it too! And I am listening and I am excited to talk about it everyday too!

Let me be clear, there is no part of me that is "obliging" my husband's wants or desires for sex. (Not that I think that is a bad thing, but it seems to imply that I don't have freedom to say no what I do or do not want to do, so it has a negative connotation). I love having sex with my husband. I have (as most women do) always wanted him to be romantic around the subject and he (as most men do) have always wanted me to be more...how do I say it...is it slutty? no, more forward and open (that's more PC). Now, we have both! And there is no negative affect on me for it so those of you judging the situation as me having to oblige my husband, you are wrong.  I will say it again, I love my husband and having sex with him. I love what having sex with him everyday is doing for him. I love what having sex with him everyday is doing for me. I love what is doing for our communication and what it is doing for our happiness and what it is doing for our conflict (or lack there of). Sex is more than just a physical activity, which is why you share it with your spouse. Sex is a vessel that the life blood of your marriage flows through. When shared with your spouse, it is connection, communication, and love. 

My husband and I used to have at least one big blow out fight every week and sometimes more than that. It is January 15 and we have not had a big blow out fight since before Christmas Day! We have had a few disagreements but no blow outs! I could sit and over analyze why things are going well, maybe I should, but you know what? I don't care!! I am going to do what I have been doing and enjoy the happy times! As a friend of mine used to say to me "don't question it just enjoy it! Fuck it, who cares, be happy and live your life!" I do think it is valuable to understand what makes things work as much as what doesn't. However in the big picture when things are going good if you spend too much time analyzing then you may miss the moment. 

I have no idea if it's because of Sex Love and Washing Clothes or not. Maybe we have just magically matured or something. Maybe both. We have been seeing a therapist for a few years he is intrigued by this too and we will continue to see him. We will continue how things are going because it is working, and it is awesome. It is not always easy but at the end of the day, how can it be bad? There are people who are judgmental that have to find something wrong in everyone else and there is a lot you can target about me because I am writing and putting it out there everyday, but as much as I do listen and feel judged, it just makes me more motivated to prove my point and continue doing what I do. I only hope to help inspire those who want to be inspired and improve their lives from with my blogging about Sex, Love and Washing Clothes. From sex and washing clothes to loving themselves and their families more! I am doing just that. Everyday I am ending my day with connection and the Big "O" with my husband. And there is nothing a mom or wife could ask for that would be a better way to end the day! Now go get you some and enjoy, live your life full and love with your whole being! Be you, I will be me and we will get happier everyday one orgasm at at time :)

Now go get yours folks!

#Everyday2015

Dedicated Fan of Your Team?

How dedicated are you? How dedicated am I? It is January 12 and I have kept my Sex Love and Washing Clothes Bare Necessity "resolution". Is it a resolution? There are a handful of Seahawks fans right now, sitting outside Qwest Field to get tickets to watch the Seahawks in the NFC Championship game. Those fans are hard core but does that make them dedicated? I have my tickets already since we are season ticket holders and have the chance to preorder play off tickets. My 9 years of going to games and toughing out through the 4-12 seasons earned/bought me the right to not have to sit in that line at the stadium. I think that is dedication. Tickets are on average upwards of $100 each for 10 games (2 preseason, 8 regular season) and the about 50+% more for playoffs. Are the season ticket holders who put aside those Sundays show up everyday pay for the season in April dedicated more than those sitting outside the stadium for 48 hours? (I think so, yes, but does it really matter?) Those fans are hard core and dedicated who is more hard core? (I don't think it really matters.) Is dedication those who pay double the face value the week of the game and stand in line for two days to get play off tickets? What makes you dedicated? What drives those folks to sit outside for 48 hours to watch a game? I have sat outside watching games for 9 seasons as a season ticket holder but before that spent as much to go to half the games. That's dediciation. There have been a few seasons you couldn't give tickets away, people even let their names fall of the the Blue Pride list (the wait list for season tickets). Those of us who were there through thick and thin the years we went to the Superbowl and the years we went single digits and the dreaded 4-12 year, that's dedication we are hard core. We are all 12s that is what it is all about. This week is different though you get a different kind of 12 in weeks and years like this one. It's the NFC Championship week, I realize this game is big, it is worth the wait outside of the stadium for 48 hours, it doesn't happen every day! This is a thought provoker for me (and a good theme for my writing). So let's explore this theory as it relates to the Sex Love and Washing Clothes audience

When we get married we say our vows, (fans have not said vows to or for their team but some act like it and some are out and booing at the first sign of trouble). We say for better or worse (which means in the Superbowl years and in the 4-12 years) but nowadays (hate that word but my dad used to use it and I do now as well) do people really mean it? You don't know how many people have said to me "I would never put up with that" when referring to some of my relationship issues over the span of my marriage. Well, that should be obvious since most of those people are single and/or divorced and/or afraid to and/or will not marry. Divorce rates are up compared to when our parents were married. Many people never (or never will again) say vows to each other because they either don't want to have to commit or because they are afraid their mate won't or they don't want to have to stick it out when things get tough, but most often use the excuse they don't want to get hurt. Are we fair weather fans of marriage only doing it when it feels good and you are winning? Like those who fell off the Blue Pride list the losing years of Seahawks seasons? Do we pick up and move to another bandwagon when things don't feel as electric as those 13-3 years? I think a lot of people in a lot of different situations do, not all there are loyal fans of being married! I have been on the team Earl even before I married my best friend in 2000. His family accepted me I accepted them and he was on my family team even before I became an Earl. We are dedicated fans (and members of) each other's families, just as we are of our current family even before it was a team of 4 just the 2 of us, and just as we are dedicated fans of the Seahawks. We are not looking to find a new team every time the season gets rough (let me tell you there has been some rough ones as i know you all have also experienced). Sometimes it seems there are fans of sports teams and are more loyal to them than they are to their spouses. Which I think is sad. 

A good competitive game, a good play or star player helps people come back or keeps them there to be fans of the team and fill the seats on game day. I think this compares to good sex. Good sex in a long term relationship is like the good games or big plays that keep fans excited, the Beast Mode Run, a Hole In One, a Grand Slam Home Run, a No Hitter, or a Hat Trick, to name a few things in sports that will get us excited even when our team is not winning. Even in the losses of a team struggling the fans will keep coming back for those special moments and gain hope from that. "It's something to build on" Good sex is your star athlete that can keep you and your spouse coming back to each other. You will have little need to go somewhere else because that is the draw to your spouse. The Big Touchdown Pass or Strike Out, that Hole In One that keeps you watching and waiting for it to happen. Not that sex is everything in a relationship but it can definitely the be the star of the team. Especially where I came from, you need a draw to your team. Seattle sports have a way of letting you down. Until last year when the Seahawks won the Superbowl, we watched the Mariners win the most regular season games in the History of the MLB 116, I was at that game, only to lose in the first round of the playoffs. Seattle is used to getting so close and then a let down. But we kept going back for more. A long term relationship with some struggles that you have good sex through it all, is like a team with a not so good record but a team that is always in the game or has a player that is electric to watch even in the loss it keeps you going back for more. Sex has kept my relationship spicy and hard to leave at times. What makes it hard to leave is my dedication to the Hubs and my family and I actually love my husband. We love each other and took our vows serious but really we have something to keep us coming back for more. Good sex. We have a lot of good stuff but sex reminds us that. It is very palpable... Like a team that pulls it out in a come from behind win and to make the playoffs and reignites the band wagoners, but when you constantly have good sex, you won't fall off the bandwagon you may try but will always be pulled back up on it with those Beast Mode Runs or The Grand Slam Home Run finish in this case those plays start with "O" (hehe)

It's kind of like a buzz or a rush you get when you watch your team win (or have an orgasm)! The anticipation the energy and excitement of a good game... the anticipation is the best part aside from the actual win! Yes, you can have that with your spouse, tonight. Start now, Send a text message that says something like "I can't wait to see you naked later" or send a sexy picture to your husband at work, the less clothes, if any, the better. He may get embarrassed for a moment but then will be excited and then everyday will wonder and look at your messages with anticipation that there may be another one like that. Then when he gets home be playful, don't yell at him when he grabs your booty while you do the dishes, he is excited to see what tonight is going to bring. Husbands, do these previous things to let your wife know you got her message and are excited for it too! Everyone loves the "big game" even if you are not a rabid fan of the specific team, any sports fan can respect another team's big game. So make your "big game" a little excitement in the bedroom. There is nothing like a big win or a Big "O".

It's time to make your spouse a fan of your team (as if he is not already) ...Ok, my SAHM readers I know this is a bit of a stretch especially if you are not a sports fan but come on ladies send those sexy texts (it does not have to be pictures but I know you man will enjoy it) and get ready for the big game because it's coming up tonight and hopefully you both will be coming tonight!

#Everyday2015

Rituals Go Hawks!

Today is Game Day Saturday! Our beloved Seahawks are playing in the divisional round of the playoffs. I can't tell you how excited, nervous and ecstatic I am! We have certain game day routines or rituals you could say. Well, we always have sex either the night before or morning of. But we take the ferry always go to the same Bar and have food drinks shots and a lot of fun with our group. Every 12 has some sort of ritual. During the game they have played Bittersweet Symphony as the players walk out for as long as I can remember and we raise the 12th man flag.  On defense, especially third down you stand and yell as loud as you can, you use your "Seahawks" voice! There is a sort of energy that comes with those rituals.  It really is unexplainable but it is palpable, similar (but way more) to what you get at a rock concert if you've had the opportunity. The energy that is wrapped up in Qwest field when filled will 68,000+ fans, all the rituals that are involved it gives me goose bumps regularly and even just thinking about it. (I'm so excited) (BTW this is being written as we head to the game on the ferry)

The point here is that rituals can be very boring when thinking about candle lighting at Church, sad carrying a casket into a funeral, but filled with hope of a wonderful life while walking down the aisle wedding day, and excitement anticipation and loudness at a Seahawks game! Those events and actions in and of themselves do not equal those emotions and feelings until you add the human factor. That's where emotions and feelings  begin then and only then do they become rituals filled with energies of human emotion, hope, excitement, sometimes turns into sorrow and disappointment. It's all human and it's all real.

When going to a game every step of the ritual presents different feelings which translates to a past experience and the energy of everyone around me.  So be mindful of those normal everyday things you do, are they rituals or just going through the motions you can shut the lights off at night or you can make a ritual of worshiping your husband or wife's body and really getting into the ritual of sex everyday. It doesn't have to be boring or a job (it kind of is job for me right now, but I work and suceed to change that everyday, it really is a fun ritual). If ritual is too strong of a word just think of a ritual you look forward to, for examples game day, or that stop at the cafe on the way to shop on Black Friday, maybe the spot you post up while hunting (hunters have a lot of rituals) whatever your favorite thing is I guarantee there are rituals connected.  Think about how you feel, the energy you get when you are involved in that activity (or ritual) and figure out a way to infuse your marriage or daily life and especially in your sex life!!  You will be pleasantly surprised and amazed just by calling it a ritual will change the energy and make your sex life skyrocket with amazement. Don't be afraid to use your Seahawks voice every now and then! Go Hawks!

#Everday2015

List: How To Create a Football Connection

Happy Blue Friday!!!  Yes from where I live it is Blue Friday officially the mayor of Seattle even made a proclamation, not that he needs to do that because every Friday in Seattle and surrounding areas is Blue Friday, pretty much all year round. This week is different because it is the playoffs! Divisional The Boy was born 9 years ago this weekend.  It was a Friday the night before the Seahawks had their first play off game on a Saturday as the Number 1 seed.  So I missed that game obviously the boy was born at 11:56 Friday night. The Hubs was on the way to the game in the morning as I headed to the Pediatrician to have the newborn checked out.

Football has always been important. Really, football built this family. I met a guy with a cute smile in Washington State History Class. He was a football player I knew that even though it wasn't football season at the time because he wore his Letterman's jacket that boasted his football career and number. That jacket now hangs in my coat closet. We talked when we got back from spring break about who had the best spring break. For me I had the best because I was in a pageant and crowned Princess so that would mean I got to be on a float and wave to admiring little girls all summer during parades all over the state, I was stoked and it was as much fun as I expected it to be. He said his was the best because he had gone on vacation on a cruise, which was way cool as well. We compared stories and flirted a lot in that class and became good friends. 

At the time I was dating someone I thought I would marry so had no romantic interest in the boy with a cute smile but was fun to be flirty and get to know this guy. We became really good friends. Over the summer I went through a break up and decided to pick up the phone and call the cute smile boy and found out that he now had a girlfriend. We talked everyday, we were just friends. Then when school started we saw each other at school and met up at my locker (we had lockers in the same hall) everyday and chat. On Monday's he had the football scouting reports. I learned all the plays (sort of) that he needed to learn he taught them to me and explained what he was doing, it probably helped him learn the plays more than taught me football, it takes a while to learn that sport, but I looked forward to those Mondays and every other morning I saw him. 

Football started our relationship and we didn't even know it, we were just friends still he had a girlfriend who did not go to school with us and we had no romantic intentions at all, I was dating someone else too, kind of (talking on the phone seeing each other occasionally on weekends). Until one day The Hubs and I had our first kiss and I think at that moment we both knew, but didn't know, that there was magic there, a connection that would not be broken no matter how hard we tried. Even after a few recent years of fighting we still have that magic and that connection not even the worst fights or friends telling us we are too oil and water to stay together. We still are like magnets to one another. Sex is a big part of the glue that keeps us together but football is the other! Neither of us would even consider not going to the games or giving up season tickets. The best way to "get over a fight" (other than good sex or in times when we couldn't muster the desire or gumption to get through sex) is a ride on the ferry to a game! Get us in the atmosphere and it is nothing less than magical (I don't know if the magic of John Gottman can compare to the magic that football has on the Hubs and I).

So the Seahawks being in the playoffs is more than just a game, it is magic, on so many levels!! I met my husband, my life partner, sometimes my nemesis and created so many life memories with football. Playoffs gives of bonus weeks of football! The Hubs is my football other half! I have gone to a few games with out him and he without me and we always miss each other!  He's calling me "you would love it here, you should be here!!" when he has traveled to away games. He has even told the guys when they started planning a guys only Superbowl trip "Ruby is coming weather or not your wives/girlfriends come my wife is going." I know I may talk about this a lot but it is a big part of me and why my relationship exist and that is the connection we have. Football gives us something to do a place to go a subject to talk about! We all need these things in our relationship, you can't live on sex alone! As much fun as it is, there needs to be something that keeps you both entertained out of the sac.

Football is a thread the weaves my husband and I together. We all need that in our relationship. It doesn't have to be football, it can be another sport or music or activity. I was not too interested in football before I met the Hubs. I took the time to get into his world. So to those reading this struggling for a connection with your spouse, here are a few tips to football during the playoffs with you husband (or wife, not trying to be sexist that's just my POV so don't take it personal you can flip the genders on your own) try to work on this so you are ready for Superbowl:

• Don't stand in front of the TV while there is a play going on if you don't know what that means just stay out of in front of the TV 
• Ask you partner questions but if it is too complicated tell him he can explain later but let him watch the game first. Try not to talk while he is trying to here the referee's call or something important about the game.
• Try to save the questions for after the game while he is watching sports center or the "5th quarter" shows where they break down the game. Those shows are really helpful to learn what he is telling you and reinforce his information 
• Listen to the commentators, learn who you partners favorites are and follow those guys on twitter, watch their pod casts, and pay attention. (Start watching and learning now you have 3 weeks before the Superbowl to get Coached up Then when you watch the game with him next time after you've listened to his answers and the commentators you may know something and impress you man in the process)
• You have to show genuine interest. If you are not interested the other option is to be the hostess the party. 
• Cook the food 
• Keep beers full, grab fresh ones when you see empties (clean up as you go put the empties in the recycle, there may be more than you want to count at the end of the day)
• Have snacks ready before the game and at half time and make dinner after the game. (don't make him miss the end of the game for Sunday Dinner. Plan it after or have an early dinner before the game)
•  Make jello shots or treats in his favorite team colors research who they are playing and for sure avoid the enemy colors!
• Find fun theme drinks, or learn how to make Bloody Mary's and Whiskey and Cokes, because remember guys like what they like. (don't make him a fruity vodka drink when he is a beer and whiskey guy and if you do be prepared to drink it all and don't make him feel bad that you went through all that effort)
• Cute snacks for him to feed the boys who might be coming over. They will eat them and destroy the pretty stadium design you made with your cold cuts but they will remember your effort and appreciate it. 
• Bonus points if you keep it refilled and looking pretty but that is not necessary, neither is the pretty display they don't care if it is paper plate or foil containers just that there is food there
• At some point sit down and have a beer join in the celebration, he will thank you for and enjoy it and you will be one of the cool wives because you made the effort.
• Don't take it personal if he is in a bad mood or snaps at you if his team is loosing. (you may need to give him his some space or alone time) Playoffs are a big deal, it's not what you did or you party that is bad he is just sad and it's hard for guys to lose and/or watch their team play bad, get beat or get screwed by the refs...a little sexy something might help his mood like serving his next beer topless (just saying)
• If his team does lose, hold off on the "since you team lost my mom need....." topic don't bring up the loss for at least a day or two but know he will still want to watch the Superbowl so don't make plans for him

Just a few ideas.  Hope you enjoy playoffs!! Remember a little extra loving if his team loses may go a long way and the other side of it, celebration sex is the best!!!! Trust me, I know! Enjoy the playoffs. Find a connection to your spouse and love them through it and more! 

Go Hawks!

#Everyday2015

Feeling Behind

So it's 11:11 (when I started and sat down) this is Thursday morning and I feel behind. My kitchen is half way torn apart, I was at The Boy's 3rd grade field trip this morning, I walked to the school and while I walked there I wrote the first half of today's blog (yes I was that dumb look girl walking and texting at the same time.) and then I pushed the wrong button and didn't save it so I lost the whole paragraph or so that I had written.  I thought is was pretty clever for feeling rushed and writing while walking. I am behind today.  I love writing but I am behind today although I did get a walk in to the school and from the school and during the field trip.

I have had sex everyday of 2015. I think this may be the first time that I have made it through the whole first week of the year doing something everyday.  I take Thyroid meds everyday and I haven't even taken them every day this month/year (I always forget the weekends). I am very proud of myself for that! I will continue this, I am so excited. Another thing that I have accomplished everyday is write to this blog, everyday. I have also followed my diet of no carbs and Dry January is still in tact (although I am considering a cheat day on Saturday, it is a Seahawks play off game day because I just don't know if I can break the flow of what we have been doing. When it comes to Seahawks you don't mess with fan flow, the 12s have their way. This may be an excuse to cheat I am considering that and will make a wise decision) We have this rule, don't change anything! But I will still be Sex Love and Washing Clothes but Dry January may have a waiver for Play Off Games. And now it is confession time, I have not actually washed clothes everyday. I have done something with laundry everyday be it start laundry, transfer laundry to dryer (although the Hub's work unies did not get started..ugh, I forgot to push the start button) but not completely the washing, drying, and putting away, everyday. Although, I have done some "Washing Clothes" stuff in the phenomena that is "washing clothes" encompasses everything house related.  My house has had attention everyday. 

I have worked at this everyday, I have not watched as much HGTV as I usually do and my Facebook friends must feel lonely without me being on there to give my opinion and share their Facebook lives with them as much as before, maybe they don't miss me because they are reading this blog that I post on my page everyday. I really am proud of myself and enjoying this routine.  However, routine is hard when you are a mom no when you are me. I am sure some of you can relate. I don't have control over my schedule as much as I would like to or thought I would have. It would be nice to plan your day at 6:00 you get up at 7:00 you eat Breakfast and are out the door by 7:30 get on the bus and start work at your desk at 9:00 then off work by 5:00 home at 5:30 gym at 6:00ect..... not me, some days the Hubs leaves at 6:00 some days at 5:30 and the kids get up at 6:30. I get the kids up and then when they go to school I write then get on with my day.

However, Some days I have field trips to go to. I would like to schedule my day with an hour to workout, and hour to write before the kids get up after the Hubs leaves but I like laying in bed with the Hubs until he gets in the shower. On days he goes in later I get extra cuddle time. I get up when he gets in the shower, I usually make breakfast and pack lunch for him. When I send him off is when I sit down and eat my breakfast, drink coffee and have a little me time, (sometimes we talk on the phone while he drives in to work) that is actually when I was doing my writing before school started back up. But because I don't get that hour or so free time because this week the Hubs has been leaving at the time I need to be getting the kids up, my writing is getting done after the kids go to school, then I clean or head to my appointments for the day or what ever is on the agenda. My point is that my life doesn't have a regular schedule, it is constantly changing. If it did this Sex Love and Washing Clothes, and getting in my workout and everything else done would be easier. I am the type of person that needs a schedule to stay focused and committed but I have done it without, this is a big deal for me. For that I am proud of myself, and it is teaching me that I can do things that I set my mind to. I will finish this year of Sex Love and Washing Clothes by taking it one day at a time. I bet I will lose weight and have a great year of sex under my belt.

Yes, I could get up at 4:30am and have that time to workout and write before the kids get up but I would miss the extra morning cuddles. I may even cheat and not get up and I would miss out on very much needed rest. The Hubs and I go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time everyday (it varies on weekends sometimes he sleeps in and sometimes I sleep in on Fridays). The reason I do this instead of getting up by myself to have time to workout or meditate on my own or whatever I would want is partly because I am tired, partly because I am lazy and want to rest more, mostly because I like to start and end my day with the Hubs. This is a big part of connection for the two of us. When he is on odd schedules (which rarely happens but sometimes does) it is a major struggle. But I feel that this is a big piece that help us stay connected! It is hard to have sex with someone who goes to bed an hour or more later than you.  It is hard to have morning sex (quickie or not) with someone who gets up an hour or two after you. 

If I can give couples one tip to being connected is sleep at the same time, be in bed at the same time, the whole time, go to bed at night at the same time, or at least get up at the same time. If you can't, because of shift work or something, try to be in bed together for at least a few moments. Make an agreement that it's okay for one partner to wake the other partner up, either when they come to bed or get up for their morning to have some connection time in the bed and hopefully sex! ....oops that sounded like advice, sorry. :)

I will continue as I have been, I will do more laundry but remember "Washing Clothes" is a synonym for house work in this blog and I will do it everyday.  Sex will continue everyday, (which is so not hard to do, although, last night we were both tired but for Sex Love and Washing Clothes, we turned on the charm, turned on each other and voila "O").  Keep up the Sex Love and Washing Clothes and think about going to bed with your mate tonight and take advantage of that connection and hey try sleeping naked that helps too, ooh that may another topic to be brought up later!

#Everyday2015

Hump Day, Just Do It

Every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay. ~John Gottman

Happy Hump Day!!!  It is the first of 2015! Get IT

Today is Wednesday and I still have yet to tackle the organization task I wrote about on Monday.  It's kind of a catch 22 I need to clean up the kitchen to be able to take everything out of the cabinets and on Monday I had to take the Boy to the orthodontist and got home with just enough time to get everything out but not enough time to do anything so I did other stuff I think laundry and decided to start Tuesday. Well Tuesday was the anniversary of my Dad's death if you read yesterday you know this. Writing yesterday took a little longer and a little more out of me than I expected and I had a counselor appointment and had to organize rosters for the boy's wrestling team (team mom duties) and that took A LOT longer than I expected it to. Then I had to alter my Wrestling mom T-Shirt Some may say not important other procrastination I say: very important and a fun productivity break. I did manage to clean up breakfast and lunch dishes and make dinner and start laundry each day. (highlight the word start) So today is the day, I have until 1:30 when I have my first appointment. 

So moral of the story is that I need to organize my time better especially now that I have added writing for Sex Love and Washing Clothes to my daily tasks and I need to add workout!!! I will accomplish this. One Day. This exact phenomena is one reason I decided to start Sex Love and Washing Clothes, one for accountability and two for pressure to actually figure out time management! So I applied my Young Living Essential Oil ADD Blend of Vetiver, Lavender and Cedarwood and then applied one drop of Brain Power to the top of my head and finished my first step of cleaning the surface of the kitchen first and now sitting to write and next tear it up in here (I am writing in the kitchen)!

Yesterday was less productive than I hoped.  At about 2:00 the Hubs got the most exciting text ever!! It was more detailed but said "sexual favors tonight!" Which he didn't care why or where that came from he was like YEAAAH!!!!!! Not that it is boring to have sex everyday with the same person but I feel like I have to step up my game every now and then as I don't want to get boring and especially when I decide to say "Fuck It, I am done cleaning I don't care if I accomplished today's tasks" Not that he knew what today's specific tasks are, just saying... We have had sex everyday of 2015! Yes every single day and it is so rad to say that!  (I needed a new adjective) However, I has seemed like we do kind of same thing everyday and I don't want the Hubs to feel like it is a job.  I love it though my husband is more concerned with how much I enjoy sex than himself.  He is no "one minute man" and/or one who gets his and is done. I am a well taken care of lady, let me tell you! So yesterday I was going to make him a well taken care of man! And I did, well, did not go as good as I wanted but he loved it and was very satisfied.  He is loving Sex Love and Washing Clothes!

So friends, I want to leave you with this, if you are joining the Sex Love and Washing Clothes with #Everyday2015 try new things and when in doubt go with what works. It is not always about the end result it is about getting it done. Wait, that sounds kind of bad.  I don't mean that in a "I have to do it" it's a job, kind of way but in the "Just Do It" kind of way. Like I have said in earlier posts I am so surprised, pleasantly of all that just doing the Bare Necessities of Sex Love and Washing Clothes is doing for me! See this blog post if you didn't read it yet Bare Necessities (I don't know how to link it here or I would, yes I am a rookie)   It has made us closer for sure, it has made the Hubs so much more relaxed and less argumentative and his OCD is overlooked because he focuses on the Sex part and looks to see what Washing Clothes part I got done but knows that he is getting some tonight! So Just Do It! I know there a lot of prudes out there (I say that in the most loving and understanding way) mostly you women get over your fear and judgement and Just do IT!!! I promise he will like it! If he doesn't talk about it what does he want what do you want.  What are you afraid of? Bad sex with your spouse is better than no sex! Even if it's not everyday do It more and see what it does for you. Let yourself enjoy it! Same for you men take care of your women and you will for sure get It more! Communicate and connect with your spouse! It's Hump Day get to It!

I leave you with a Quote from John Gottman "Every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay"  So go get some!!

#Everyday2015

2 Extra People = Increased Stress In The House

Happy Tuesday!  The day after I announced the Bare Necessities of my blog for 2015!  Sex, love and washing clothes everyday for the whole year!  I sit here as I have towels in the laundry and after a great evening with The Hubs, we had hot buttered rum in the hot tub and then a nice kidless night at home!  I love my kids but really we are so much more relaxed when they are at Grandma's.  Imagine that, two less people to manage and there is less stress in the house.  It's not insensitive, it's truth, a mathematical truth.  The Hubs said to me last night can we just be like this all the time even when the kids are here (for the record he was talking about the relaxed mood not the nakedness and/or loud sex, just so you know).  My response was a resounding really loud YES!!!

Notice:  this was a little more heavy and serious than I had planned and it's not even 2015 yet but I just go where inspiration takes me!  I am incapable of not being real and honest and following my heart

Kids create a lot of added stress.  Forgive me for being real here but sometimes as adults as much as we love our children, adding two more lives (or however many each of you have) it is a challenge!  And in my opinion it is okay to say it out loud!  One big thing parents need to do for their kids is to love the person they are parenting with.  I realize in this day and age it is not always the biological parents.  For ease of my writing I will probably use "Mom" and "Dad" but please know that I know sometimes the family is not always conventional and I respect that and think this applies to you as well so please insert mom and mom or dad and dad if and when needed.  If you are parenting alone you need to take care of you!!  You still have to be happy and healthy and putting everything into your kids, single parents, is not healthy either...balance, it is all about balance.

Kids come first, yes, when it comes to saving them from a sinking ship and all but sometimes it is okay for mom or dad to come first.  Putting life on hold for the kids will only grow you apart from your spouse, and probably grow the children into selfish adults.  Kids need to get to practices and rehearsals on time and homework done and yes you will be sacrificing a lot for your little bundles of joy.  (NEWSFLASH:  don't stay little!)  They grow up and move out eventually!  So we as parents have to make sure of 2 important things 1. That we model how to work together and love our partners and 2. That when they move out we still know and love our spouse and still have something to connect to when we don't have kids.

I am not a trained parenting expert so I will try to avoid giving advice.  I will just tell my story.  I am a parent and a wife and I love my kids they are primary in my life, but not always. Every week the Hubs and I have a date night.  Every few months we have weekends away that don't involve kids.  In my daily life The Girl (10) dances competitively (eh...a source of stress with the amount of money it costs ...we could buy a small island with how much it costs... it is what it is) and The Boy plays sports (a source of stress with the amount of time volunteering and coaching my husband and I put in ...it could be a full time job especially during certain seasons).  With all that being said our kids are very successful in their activities, and most of the time we are right there by their side.  They enjoy their activities and enjoy us going to watch and look for us in the crowd or on the sidelines.  It means a lot to our kids having us supporting them.  However we sometimes have other things that make it so we can't be there all the time.  For the most part they understand, they get sad that we can't be there all the time but they know that they still matter to us even though we had other plans.  For example, we have season tickets to Seahawks this season in particular we have had to miss one of each of the kids events for games.  And there was a day we had to miss a Seahawks game for the Boy's Championship game.  Some things don't happen all the time like Championship Games or Nationals, again there is that word balance.  You have to balance it out and make choices that you both (mom and dad) can live with.  Sometimes you just need together time and sometimes it won't work out.

For the Hubs and I Seahawks, no actually, football has been a big deal for our relationship.  I learned about football sitting in front of my locker in high school reading scouting reports with him.  It is something we bonded over early on.  I looked forward to every Monday morning sitting there learning his assignment for the game on Friday.  For a while I was the only wife allowed at games (partly because I was the only wife in the group and partly because I was the only chick in our group who really knew football but mostly because the Hubs wanted me there and of course I wanted to be there) Now I look forward to Sunday home games.  When my kids were babies I was quite a worried mom.  Game days were the only time I could get away and really let myself enjoy and be me, not mom and I didn't feel guilty.  We did have other date times but I was always waiting for the phone to ring or calling checking in.  It was important to me, to have that feeling of being just 'me' but that did not make me less of a good mom.  Now, the kids love football to the Boy plays and the Girl asked us to record the game the day she performed and we went the game (and missed her performance)  She asked if she could go to the one game we missed this year (actually ever in the last 10 years that we have had season tickets) when her brother played in his Championship game on a Sunday home game.  We told her that her brother's game was more important!  ...Balance

My point is parents need connection because your kids will grow up one day and you will be left with your spouse. One connection the Hubs and I have (hopefully you do too) is obviously sex but it is also Football and the kids know that.  We also have date nights regularly.  Sometimes the kids will give us a hard time when they have to go to Grandma's but, if we miss date night they ask and wonder why  they keep us on track too.  They know that we love them and we love each other.  They see us fight (not always super proud of that but we are real even in front of our kids) we wear our stress on our sleeves and the kids pick it up too, they are smart people.  They said to us one day "you guys need a weekend away (we really did) and we need a weekend at Grandma's".  ...Not sure if that was wisdom and observation or just that they wanted to go to the place where they rule the roost for a couple days!  But regardless, we made it happen Grandma was happy to oblige and keep the kids for our "escape weekend" at the end of the weekend we were all happier and reset to conquer our world.

The whole adage of kids come first is great but really sometimes your marriage need to come first.  Your husband gets up every morning to provide for you and you get up every morning to clean cook and keep your house running.  You do it for your kids you do it for you and you do it for your husband.  He really does appreciate all you do even when he doesn't say it.  They say "you must first love yourself before you can love someone else" which is very true (plan time to take care you in there too).  You have to love yourself and take care of yourself and you have to make a priority to love the mother or father (bio or otherwise, or co-parent) of your children so that you can show your kids how to be married and be a team together.  Marriage is hard and should be your number 1 priority.  You are raising little people...adults not kids.  Your kids grow up to be adults and they need to know that they have to put in the work it takes to be happy the same way you are putting in the work to be happy!  They need to see their mom and dad taking care of each other they will learn that behavior, trust me.  Now that we are fighting less, our kids are fighting less.  

Don't judge yourself against me or anyone else always do your best.  Love your best and when in doubt have some good sex!!  That is a great way to get connection with your spouse!

Happy #Everyday2015