UGH!!!

OMG It has been a shitty day! The Hubs and I had an argument the other night and it seems to be lingering longer than it was welcome!

Let's review the Four Agreements:
1. Be Impeccable with your words.
2. Don't take things personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.


Let's just leave it like that. This is a good book I hope the day is better for you all and myself after the Hub's late night class he teaches! I am so frustrated that I just can't even speak or put together a blog post.

#Everyday2015

Time To Plan a Reboot!

Today is Sunday! It is the day of the Daytona 500! I used to be stoked about that day but we have got busy and NASCAR became kind of boring lately, or maybe it is just boring when you can't follow and keep up with it, it can be very time consuming because it is a long season. But it is something to occupy Sunday's when nothing else is going on (I miss football) and you know me any reason to have a party! I think I will be going to get wings and snacks for the race, yes it has started already but it is the Daytona 500 it will be on for a while!

Today I am having a feeling that I don't want to do anything. I am having a hard time getting motivated. I just want to hang with my family. I have bridal shower for a great close and wonderful friend but I am not feeling social at all. I wonder if I can take her out for lunch or for drinks or something one day to make up for it. I have been busy and this weekend if you are a regular reader you have heard and seen with my late posts (9pm last night) is shows how busy I was. I think my friend will understand, I just don't know if I will. This is the struggle I have a lot of times. It is an important day, your bridal shower day, but family is important and I haven't had time with the Hubs or the boy at all this weekend, and next weekend the Girl and I will be at a dance convention so probably won't see them next week either. I need some quality time with them. But my friend will only have one Bridal Shower, ever but I am pretty sure she knows the struggle and always is understanding. She is one who I feel is honest with me when she can't make something happen with me and I can be honest with her too. Anyway I will be contemplating this all day.

I have had a lot going on and love it. However, I want some down time. I want a day that the Hubs and I can just lay in bed all day. When we have those days, we don't just lay in bed all day, we fuck, we make love, and we have sex. Yes those are pretty much the same thing but are also very different! I love the days you don't have to decide which one you will have to do. You can have crazy mad love take a cuddle break and then just be raw and fuck and then repeat as desired, and then, right before you get up at 5 pm or so, you can end it with "Let's have sex one last time" just to finish off. I want that day where we have no kids home or even coming home. Where we get up at 5 pm right before we get ready to go out to dinner and a date then come home and have crazy mad fucking love again before we go to sleep. Maybe even have some outdoor naked time... just have more than 24 hours to do nothing unless we want to and have no responsibilities! Grams and Gramps will be home from AZ soon and I am sure we can talk to them about taking the kiddos for a weekend or so, wonder if I can talk the Hubs into letting the Boy skip a Saturday Baseball practice.... 

A mini vacation to Vegas or Portland would be fun too. We have to decide do we want to take some of the time to drive or fly to a location or just to be lazy... Hmmm.... But then we would have to pay for  it too...

I think this may sound like I am complaining. I am just having a rough time and I think a little vacation or break might be needed! I love my life, being a stay at home mom (soon to be part time working mom), having my kids busy and being proud of them, taking care of the house being there to give the Hubs a kiss when he comes in the door ... I do love everything about my life. Sometimes we all get overwhelmed and I am starting to realize that, I need a reboot! We all do. Sometimes we need to get creative to make it happen due to schedules, finances, kids, jobs etc. But bottom line, I am right there needing that reboot. I need to make it happen ASAP before things get too bad and I end up hating my life or at least before I get resentful about all the things that stress me out! So in the next month I need to make my reboot happen! I need to make that a priority because if I need it, I bet the Hubs does too!

Time to plan a reboot and be able to be 100% happy in my life and not make excuses to not participate with people I love and in activities that I love because I am overwhelmed! Plan to succeed in life and right now to succeed a reboot is necessary! Even just the planning will help relieve the stress and overwhelm feeling, just don't over plan and make that stressful (I never do that...yes, that was sarcasm). Basically I need to plan a weekend for the 'Rents to take the kiddos the rest will just happen! Happy Rebooting folks! Today I will just be, and not beat myself for the things I cannot do. I am only one person I do need to take care of me and the rest will understand! Love you all and Happy Bridal Shower Day to my friend!

P.S. This was kind of a ramble today... I know that it is a bit of a bi-product of how I am feeling overwhelmed and not 100% into anything lately. Hope you enjoy it and I have a hunch many of you can relate, which is why you read in the first place, right?

#Everyday2015

Busy Friday... Late post

Today's post is late because I have been busy. I had a great coffee with the ladies/Intro to Young Living Essential Oils Class that I taught.  Now I am heading to pick up used bowling pins for wrestler end of season gifts (team mom job) then we have baseball practice (I am also team mom) and another Young Living class... Then kids to Grandma and Date with the Hubs!

As I listened in my second Young Living class today, taught by my team leader, I use her notes when I teach, we say a lot of the same things and I got a reminder of things I had forgotten about. Was fun to spend some time with new people learning about how oils can enhance our lives. I also noticed an interesting energy that got me emotional as she spoke about wearing some of the oils over her heart. I am going to try to use my oils more consistently and try to avoid the meds I blogged about this earlier this week. Maybe it will work for me (disclaimer Essential Oils and/or reps cannot and do not diagnose or treat any medical conditions, see your doctor before going off or avoiding any prescribed meds I am not a doctor do not think I know it all, I am just a mom with an opinion and an ego).

I had a Zyto Scan which scans your energy field gives you oily suggestions to help re-balance and I had something like 37 things out of balance and the Zyto suggestion was Brain Power and Peppermint <SHOCKING>. I have both and I use them a lot. However recently I have forgotten to use my Brain Power and usually use Peppermint as a driver oil on everything else. Shocking that I would forget to use Brain Power, right?! Not really that shocking!

Anyway there is my day and now my blog. I am going to go be present with my husband and kids until we drop the kids off with Grandma!  Yay for Grandma sleepovers! Then later we are going to try some more moves from our new book! I am so excited to have no kids tonight...(I can use my Seahawks voice hehe)

Whew! Thank goodness for my coffee dates today and new oily friends! And for the Hubs for understanding my struggling this week and being patient about my craziness!  I love him Happy Friday Everyone!!!!

Hope you have some good weekend sex!

#Everyday2015

Mom Life on Fat Tuesday

Happy Tuesday everyone! It's Fat Tuesday...Does that mean much to anyone? Do people really indulge the night before giving up something for lent? Maybe I should try this phenomena ... lent giving up something for is it still 40 days and 40 nights? I did dry January maybe I should do it for lent too, maybe I will just give up junk food, that is different that alcohol and there are no waivers allowed in lent either.... I have never been Catholic so I don't really know. Friends who I know are don't usually do Fat Tuesday but I know a friend who gave up swearing, using cuss words, for the duration of lent year. Every time she said a cuss word she had to put a quarter in the jar...Fuck! that would cost a lot of money. Actually at the time she did it I was telling her "man I have started cussing so much more lately." She said "I know me too, why do you think I did this?" I asked what she planned to do with the cussing fines, I would use it for new shoes or a trip or something, but she decided she would give it to the church. Oh yeah, that's what lent is for anyway isn't it?...

For this Fat Tuesday I am going to a team mom meeting to plan and end of season party, wonder if I can convince the mom's to take a celebratory shot, you know we should shouldn't we? It is Fat Tuesday, that's what people do on this day right? ...Most of these mom's don't know me super well, so I will probably keep my mouth shut so not to seem like the token alcoholic, but you won't see me turning down another mom's suggestion to do so.... The restaurant is in walking distance to my house and is on my running route, so if we mom's get crazy, the Hubs could grab me on his way home from teaching tonight and I could fetch the car on my run tomorrow. Hey I just figured out how to make sure I get my run in! Yay me!!!  

Anyway, I am super excited to hang out with of one particular rock star mom tonight! She and I have chatted about needing a mom coffee date where we drink mimosas after sending the kids to school one day..it is no longer dry January and she is Catholic, so tonight might have to be "our night" if she is giving up drinking mimosas for lent. She does read my blog, at least use to, so, Dear Said Mom I am speaking of, if you are reading this before wrestling team mom meeting, we will be sneaking into the bar and taking a shot together!!!  Nudge nudge hint hint...you don't need to comment on the post, just wink at me when we make eye contact tonight lady! Fun times on the docket for tonight!

Don't judge me folks today I had a good mommy day. It was a day off for the kids, Hubs is back to work after the three day weekend but the kids had a four day weekend. I started off with strawberry, chocolate chip pancakes, scored mom points right there. Then we had to do Dr's appointment for the Boy and I but had a break in between and during the break we adventured out to take a walk on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge! (It was beautiful, we have had amazingly pretty sunny weather here in western Washington!) They had never done that, more mom points right? However I think they were more impressed with dad taking them on the roof top of a building he was working at over the weekend, Dad's are always way cooler (eye roll). Then after my Dr appointment (which my Dr wants to put me on Zoloft..ugh I am resisting Rx in hand though, topic for another day) we went to the kids favorite restaurant in that area where they can watch the cooks make their pizza and the cooks were prepping basil and mozzarella for that basil mozzarella cheese and tomato appetizer thing...(yeah you know what I mean who really knows what it is called anyway, I just eat it. Oh, I just looked it up, looks like it is called Tomato Basil Mozzarella Appetizer, who knew?) it smelled yummy as we waited for our food. So yes major more mom points! And it came with Gelato! Yay more mom points! Have I mentioned my kids love language is food?

It was a great day for my kids and this here momma and still not over! Gotta go get the sitter for this evening since the Gramma forgot she can't do it, so instead of having 2 hours to blog and do some power cleaning I now only have about an hour but will probably stretch that to an hour and a half and not have as much time to get where I am going. It is just right around the corner! I did start laundry and if I get home in time to get the sitter home before the Hubs gets home, I am planning a surprise night for the hubby to come home to me sitting in my favorite comer of the couch sans clothing! ....ooh that is unless I do end up taking too many shots with the team moms and need him to meet me at the bar and pick me up...either way I guarantee he will enjoy whatever happens. And, I already got the OK from the sitter to stay out late because she is now home schooled and her mom says she can be a late night sitter if I need, any time, let's hope tonight counts as anytime (wink wink)

So Happy Fat Tuesday to you all enjoy your day and regardless of your religion indulge in something today, just because it was a beautiful day here and you deserve it, I scored enough mom points to share with you. So you can have some of mine!

#Everyday2015

Blog of Shame

Damn it! We messed up last night! We fell asleep on the lovers holiday we forgot to make love! Oops! I fell asleep last night and so did The Hubs! We committed to Sex Love and Washing Clothes and #Everyday2015 but fell asleep last night! On Valentines Day of all days! The Holiday for lovers! I am sure there are people who have really crappy sex lives and  only have sex on special occasions that got it on last night and The Hubs and I couldn't stay up for it? WTF dude?! I am so embarrassed, angry, annoyed with  myself, I feel like I have let down my followers.... But know this friends, we are all human even Ruby Earl gets caught up with life sometimes.

We went out for drinks sang some karaoke we were talking about Super Bowl 45 where The Who did the half time show. I love the song "Reign O'er Me" When we got home we cued it up on our phones and listened to it in bed. I was already all snuggy in bed when The Hubs came in with the speaker, we connected his phone to it via Bluetooth and listened. I felt myself getting sleepy and he said "Do you just want to go to sleep?" I said "NO" but he snuggled up next to me we were both subtly rubbing each other's 'special areas' but we both fell asleep in that exact spot. We woke up this morning and I was instantly bummed, The Hubs said "Well, we made it to Valentines Day''.  Noooooo!!!!!!! It's not over! I will not give up on it! We will make up for it! We did. We had a quicky before Grandma dropped off the kids this morning. So we will get a two a day today but damn! We missed a day. It feels like a sad walk of shame!

Guess I could have just lied and not told you about it. But that is not me. Neither is just shutting down this blog and ending Sex Love and Washing Clothes all together. No I am fighter and a worker, I will achieve what I set out to...for the most part, one day is not a set back. It is just one day! I will not give up! I will continue to do Sex Love and Washing Clothes every day. It has been good for me and everyone else in this household. My house is cleaner, my husband and I are getting along better, overall. We have our moments but we have learned to communicate with each other, trust that we mean well for each other even when we have a negative moment and be patient during those negative moments. Is because we have had sex everyday this year? I don't know, but it is one thing I had hoped to happen when I started Sex Love and Washing Clothes. I will not make excuses or use this a reason to stop or give up! I will continue. I will become a better wife, a better lover, a better writer and a better mom. 

My February has started off a little rocky in the taking care of me department. I was a little melancholy from the Seahawks Superbowl loss, not very committed to keeping my eating healthy plan and have not started a workout program that I had told myself would be my focus for February! So here goes my planning you Sex Love and Washing Clothes readers are my accountability group! I will run at least 5 days a week. There are 14 days left in this month so I plan to and want to get in 25 miles so that is a little more than 2 miles per run. That is my February workout plan. The clothes are in the laundry so that part of my Bare Necessities is on track. Sex will happen every day and we will add in at least one two a day today so the average of once a day will workout and maybe a few more two a days to balance out the month!! 

I am trying to get better at my writing I hope you are enjoying it. If you like it, please share my blog with your friends. Like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter at @SLWC_Ruby  I am contemplating adding more pictures of my real life on my blog and social media accounts. I want to share my life with you but I am slightly nervous of my kids being judged about their mom writing about Sex and/or the Hubs' work mates or families of kids he coaches being weird about it. And myself being judged. So I am warming up to the idea but for now I will stay hidden behind my Nom De Plume.  Which I enjoy a lot! Feedback on this would be greatly appreciated.... just saying...

Here's to a better rest of February 

#Everyday2015

Do You and Your Lover Speak the Same Language?

Happy Valentines Day!!! I hope you all get a chance to enjoy and love each other! Valentine's Day is for lovers but also for families and people to have a reason to show love. What are you doing for your love today? What about for your kids, your mom, your friends? No, I am not suggesting you go out and buy a lame card or candy for everyone you love. Just think about a way to show your love to the ones you love.

I usually make Chocolate covered Strawberries or Cake or some sweet treat (and I wonder why I have a weight issue) I do show my love a lot in food. What love language is food? Acts of Service or Gifts? I usually make it and decorate and spend lots of time on a good meal and/or a pretty dessert. I think it might be a combination of Acts of Service and Gifts Given. What is your love language? Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time or Physical Touch? I am not an expert on Gary Chapman's Love Languages, however it is an interesting phenomenon (disclaimer, I have read The Five Love Languages of Children, not the original book). I think that whole concept is interesting.  I definitely show love to my husband (and everyone else) in my love language. I have a hard time figuring out what his love language is because I speak in mine. Not that I haven't tried to figure him out. He is a Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service type. I am a words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch type depending on the day... see, it is so clear why wouldn't I just speak love in my husband's language.

It's because I am me. I speak in my language not that I don't try to learn and know him and his language. Point being....Love languages are great. I believe that everyone has a special love language and that it is important to be aware of and a good thing to learn. I have tried and will continue to work on it but there is no magical answer for being in a relationship. My husband may think he is doing great letting me know I am loved and then I drop a ball saying you never say nice things (he does but I don't hear it sometimes)!!! See, if I am a Words of Affirmation type and he is showing me love with Physical Touch we are not speaking the same language and what he has done for me doesn't speak the same as what he wants it to. And the opposite is true when I do things of love for him that he may not recognize! For Example, I make great meals and slave away trying to cook and show my love and all he wants is for me to be naked waiting for him on the couch. IN cases like this all we want is to be noticed that we are trying and to be loved! If we both step back and realize what the others love language is, instead of waiting for them to show us the way we want to be shown love, look for them to show love in their natural way it would bridge a massive gap in most relationships!

If you can see what your partners love language is, don't expect them to change for you, look for them to show you in their love language, appreciate it, even if it's not your love language. If you appreciate and give them the acknowledgement that you know they are trying maybe they will try to go out of their comfort zone and speak in your language. But that is not the easiest for them, try not to be too hard on your love. I guarantee they currently showing you love in their very own love language, you just have to open your eyes to see. The same way you show them love in your language but if you go that extra mile to show them love in their language...You have reached your pot of gold, there will be much rewards for you ... hubba hubba.(Dirty minds there are other rewards to it too!)

Go show your love love today! Look for your love to show you in their love language and if they are speaking in your love language acknowledge that is mastery and don't take it for granted! Enjoy it and work hard to love your spouse and to see your spouse loving you! It is happening, open your eyes, he loves you, you love him. Show it and go forth and love and be loved! Remember there are many ways to show love. The 5 love languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time are all ways to show and express and speak love. Your lover and you can connect on all 5 levels, you should. There is one that stands out more for each individual but your lover and you may speak love in different ways. Instead of trying to change your lover to speak your way, just know there are many ways to express and show love. Look for those ways in your lover to show you their own way. You show love your way but try to make an effort to speak his/her language. If you are looking for it, you will find it, open up to your lovers way of being loved and they will open up to you!

This is sounding a lot like love advice (Boo that) and I am not sure I am making sense. What I am trying to say is learn your lovers love language so you can interpret their attempts to show you love. Not so that you can change to be what they want or so they will change to better fit you. Don't make or expect your lover to change to better fit what you are, accept them for who they are. Don't expect your lover to change for you. They will return the favor and accept you for you. The reason you fell in love is because of who each of you organically are. Love in your language and let them love in theirs! Enjoy Valentine's Day lovers!

#Everyday2015

13 Sexual Innuendos for Valentine's Day

Happy Friday The 13th!!!  Both boys in this house, the Hubs and The Boy were born on Friday the 13th! So it is like a birthday/celebration every Friday the 13th! Today is a bit more "special" because it is the day before Valentine's Day. I know, I know so many people poo poo Valentine's Day by saying it's a Hallmark Holiday, all it is is for card companies and jewelry companies to make money.. blah blah blah. Well I sort of agree but I also sort of disagree. Any excuse to celebrate for me is an awesome excuse to do something special or out of the ordinary and why not live it up and go big? Friday the 13th is a great day in this house! NO bad oman's or black cat fears here!

I want to do something with the number 13 for today's blog...with tomorrow being Valentines day and today the scariness of days Friday the 13th, I was reading my kids Valentines today and thought wow, if adults gave Valentines to each other the meaning would change.... I was blushing...which brings me to think, am I obsessed with sex? That's a topic for another day? Why is it that I can make a child's Valentine a sexual innuendo, I blame that on the Hubs! My kids are in elementary school and I am reading into child's Valentine Cards as sexual innuendo....I need help!anyway this sparks my inspiration for my list today.
Best Subtle Sexual Innuendo Valentines Sayings I found online, Thanks to Google

But I will.....

Inside in our bed

Yes Please!

And by Stroll I mean with your tongue!

His Junk is the key and your vag is the lock...

Add caption

What man wouldn't want to hear this?

I know the hubs would much rather a picture of my boobs with this text. But hey...

Just be blunt everyone should have sex on Valentines Day so this card is right to the point.

Fuck Yeah!

You and your mate have fun however you like!

You get to pick the position....

Yes Please!

So there are a few images of sexual innuendo cards for Valentines Day. I was going to try to post the links to where to find these, I apologize for not but I ran out of time trying to figure out how to on each one so what I did was I googled Valentines Innuendo Cards.  I was hoping to find more cutesie not on purpose cards from children's Valentines but I will need to research longer and harder more next year! Or that will be tomorrows list maybe... Hope you all enjoy today and use one of these cards to have a great sexy Valentines Day! Go get you some hope you see a black cat and have awesome sex tonight! Happy Friday the 13th!

#Everyday2015

Let Yourself Be Loved When You Can't Love Yourself

OMG!!! I posted then, lost my post when I came into the Blogger app to edit a typo! Fuck!!! Which means my final draft that was so awesome, is not the same F!...I need to learn how to sync these things better.... Here it goes again...

Happy Thursday! I have a head ache today! Ugh! Yesterday I was in a foul mood today it's a head ache, I am struggling with my weight loss goals, can I complain anymore? I did have a great date night last night! During the day, I text the hubs about how crappy I was feeling. I gave him the proverbial heads up that I was in a foul mood, I couldn't get my shit together and I was feeling bad about it. He gave me the much needed moral support I was needing! I still am in a mood today but today I have a better overall aspect on life. That is why I have the Hubs, to pick me up when I am down!

I am trying not to be down on myself and to get as much done as possible and be productive everyday! I want my house to be spotless all the time, but we live here and I take moments to enjoy my family. The Hubs and I do a date night once a week, I hang at practices for a few extra minutes and go to all of the games and performances that I can. I also take time to sit next to the Hubs in the evening so we get some connection and/or together time. So I have the time from when the Hubs leaves for work and when the kids go to school to get my house work done. I try not to "work" when the Hubs is home, however, sometimes it's a decision of leaving a mess or working while the Hubs is home I do both depending on the day. He enjoys that I take time to spend with him. He also is okay with me being determined to get the house together as well. He does prefer me to work while he works but also knows that when it counts the stuff will get done! I am getting there. My house is cleaner than ever even though it is not spotless. Is anyone's house spotless all the time? I always feel like there is a trade off. Either you are frantically cleaning all the time or there is always a but of a mess.

We live here and we live with each other. There is not one person here that is always working. We all out in work and we all deserve down time too. Yes, we are busy and sometimes the dishes are in the sink for a couple days because of that. I choose to spend time with the Hubs instead of obsessing about cleaning all the time. I figure, as long as the counter tops are usable, dishes are clean when you put food on them and everyone has clean underwear (even if it means getting it out of the dryer) and everyone is enjoying life and each other, then my job is well done. My grandma may argue that I need to do more or that it is unacceptable to leave clothes in the laundry overnight, but she doesn't live here and I know what matters. People matter, family matter, love matters, enjoying moments with each other everyday matters! Those clothes will get done even if it has to wait until tomorrow. One day the kids will enjoy that I took time with them instead of stressing about laundry every second of every day!

The Hubs is proud of me. I hear that he brags to our friends about how I do take care of the family and the house. Even though he does sometimes think I could be more efficient (he is right) but in the long run when he steps back he is proud of me. He likes that I have balance to work when it needs to be done, I can knock out power cleaning when I need to, if I want to. I think it means a lot to him to know that I will take time to enjoy him even when the house is a disaster, as long as we have a room that is clean that we don't have to look right at the mess we're good, he appreciates that too.

I am working on balance. This week I have not been super good at it, my house is not spotless, I have a head ache and am tired this week, but I am trying to accept myself and be loving to me and get as much done as possible but also enjoy the family and accept that I cannot do it all and when I make a decision that results in things not getting done I am going to accept it and not beat myself up. I am working on accepting me and loving me and loving my family through it.

I need to work on writing lists to keep me on task. I also need to work on eating well as that affects my motivation and drive and mood and I can tell that my tiredness is being caused by poor food choices. I have a lot to work on but mainely I need to work on accepting and being okay with myself today and this week. How are you doing? Are you taking care of your family? Your House? Most importantly are you taking care of you? The latter is the most important! If you are not loving you don't expect anyone else to! Yesterday I was not loving myself too much. I sent that text to the Hubs and he made it clear to me that he loves me no matter what and he is there to help and support me when I need it, I just have to reach out to him. Although when he is there for me it is important that I remember not to be too hard on myself. I believe you can block love from others if you are filled with too much self loathing. The Hubs came through for me with a date night and good attitude adjustment, love him. Glad he was in the mood to be there for me when I couldn't shake myself out of that self loathing! Love yourself enough to allow those who love you to pick you up when you need it! Be open for love all the time someone will for sure come through for you! If no one does contact me I will give you pep talk! Choose to be happy!!!!

#Everyday2015

To Read or Not To Read

So I was getting ready to go out for a run, I really need a run! As I sat down on the toilet for my last pee before heading out, I opened up Facebook, yes I am guilty of Facebooking on the toilet, don't judge me, you are too! Anyway, as I was scrolling through I came across an article about Fifty Shades of Grey and how it is bad for marriages. I disagree with this article and with anyone judging what is good for or not good for any marriage that is not theirs. My marriage is mine to manage and your marriage is yours to manage. I am trying to be careful not to offend anyone..aka not lose followers or readers... but we all know that I am slightly incapable of doing so, so I should just say what I feel. Which is what will happen anyway, I will try to leave the justification out of it and the attempt to make me feel like there is no way you can judge me negatively because of my view point and all my back up justifications about my opinion. Basically you may disagree and if so, know that it is OK with me for you to disagree. You don't have to do things my way. You do you! Do what works for you and your marriage.

So, it was said that "Fifty Shades of Grey" or any erotica or pornography leads to sexual desire outside your marriage. I can see that if the person is doing this alone or with someone that is not their partner. However I believe the opposite when done together. The Hubs and I use porn at times to help our stimulate our sexual desire. It is not causing anything except the two of us getting excited for each other. Maybe I am completely off base and I just have the wool pulled over my face but reading sexual stories or looking at sexually charged images are not giving me a desire for the dude in the picture or anyone else for that matter. It is giving me ideas of what we can do for and with The Hubs who is right there with me. I think, if used properly a couple can stimulate their marriage and keep attraction to each other high by these tools. Does this make me an adulterer? I don't think so.

I started to read the Fifty Shades book, I liked it. I got to the middle of the book right around the contract area for those who have read it and kind of lost interest actually, no, I got busy or something. I have ADD it is hard for me to finish any books, and I would rather spend the time reading stories with my husband and having our own romantic and sexual explorations with him than read it in a book. And for him it was too slow to read together. So for me Fifty Shades of Grey didn't intercept my sexual attention or any of my attention from him anyway. For my single friend, one who read it and the rest of the trilogy, she loved them and couldn't put them down, partly because she was alone most of the time because she didn't have a husband to play with at night or during down times. But no one will ever convince me that erotica is bad for a marriage especially when the Hubs and I enjoy each other so much. As for my single friend I don't think it affected her relationships except to give her some things she would like to try with her next BF or maybe one day a husband.

Life is tough! We have jobs, bills, rooms to clean, laundry to get done, dishes, someone has to make dinner, kids to get to practices, the Hubs coaches 2 out three of the Boy's sports he is busy with work and he teaches classes in his trade and I am a mom do I need to say more...runny noses, kids being mean to my kids...the list goes on. By the time kids get to bed at 9 or so we are both tired. Porn or erotic stories spice up our lives and gives us that energy to put into each other sexually. Our sex life started out rocky. It kind of sucked! I think that growing up afraid of sex, which I don't think was all bad, I didn't end up a pregnant teen or with a man who doesn't love me, but that made it hard for me to get into sex as a young adult. So, when the Hubs and I were together and become adults and start to have sex, I was afraid of it. I was taught sex was bad. You don't have sex unless you are married but once you are married what do you do and how does it become good? A dilemma that will stick with me as I raise my children into adults. How to raise smart kids who don't get pregnant but not make them afraid of sex...

I also know that not having experience prior to meeting and marrying my husband led to a little bit of awkwardness and not knowing how to get what I wanted or being able to tell the Hubs about it. Talking about sex was taboo, just as sex was taboo and when I made that transition into adulthood, no one gave me permission to be okay with sex so I really never was. Until one day, who knows what happened I don't but I just was OK with it. (I think a quick talk to an older sister of a high school beau of mine helped that transition a bit) At first, sex hurt, I had sexual dysfunction as a 21 year old! Thankful for Berman and Berman two Doctor sisters who had done studies on Sexual dysfunction in women! I happen to watch them on Oprah and learned a lot of the mechanics of sex and sexual dysfunction but still had reservations. Sex finally got good after the birth of my second child when I finally got into it. I don't know what shifted but that is when I finally got pleasure and wanted to have sex. I have always been told sex is good but I hadn't really felt that until then. I don't know what switched in me. I think it was me realizing I was an adult and it was okay to make up my own mind and believe what I felt was right not just what someone else told me to believe was right. I became of woman right then!

Sex is very intimate and emotional but there are also those times it is raw and emotion free and just feels good! I never understood the idea of friends with benefits or people who could just have one night stands but now I do. It took me long time for that. Not that I advocate cheating but I have heard men (and women too) say I just wanted sex, my wife won't give it to me so I went to a brothel or people who claim "it was just sex". Is that even real? Part of me says no not possible but I do know now that I think it is. I have learned with the Hubs that there are times I want to punch him because he makes me so mad and I hate him so much (the P!NK song True Love explains this to a T) but put me in the corner of the couch and I can forget that in just a few short seconds of his hands and his tongue and his manness on and in my body!

Yes sometimes we use porn to spice up our sexual game. Desire sometimes is hard when you have a crazy busy life. I know you mom's have been in the act and heard the dryer go off and just wanted him to finish so you could get them before they have wrinkles on them and the clothes in the washer need to be switched over so you don't forget and end up with that old laundry smell on your clothes. Or as your husband when your husband are in doing it doggy style and you are looking at his pile of clothes he throws on the floor next to your bed, "are those clean or dirty?" We have all been there, if you say no I bet you are lying! Porn helps get be in the moment. We'll use the laptop laying in bed and talk about tattoos we see on people and "OMG can you believe that make up" and then "wow, that looks interesting..." and we have to try it, or sometimes it is just a little flick of the finger oooh that was nice and he and I are locked on each other and forget what is going on on the screen.... Don't tell me this is bad for my marriage. We have great sex and yes sometimes we fantasize about things that are not politically correct but we are together every night we are not off searching out those fantasies or pleasuring by ourselves we share in it and enjoy every minute!

So take this however you like. Read Fifty Shades, watch porn, go to strip clubs or don't. I believe it can be a good tool in a marriage to draw you close together, to get over the hump....hehe I said hump....of daily life and get back to the sex kittens you once were or maybe you never were or never lost that in each other. If Fifty Shades gets your wife hot and ready to go for you, wouldn't you want her to read it? If it makes it so she is reading and spending all her time with B.O.B. then, I agree it would be bad in that situation and you need help. So, ladies let your man join in on the fun of Fifty Shades...apparently there are toys that are in the book available online, or go to Lovers Package or find some sexual enhancing products. Do whatever it takes to be hot for your lover! Never underestimate the power of good sex with your spouse! I don't think there is anything that helps a couple's relationship more than sex, Good Sex! However that has to happen, why question it? Isn't this a big reason we get married, for a live in Fuck Buddy and Cuddle Partner all in one, who is there with you every night! My husband is my best friend so he is a Friend with benefits and boy do I take advantage of those benefits when I need to and I let him take advantage of mine!

#Everyday2015

And I still have time for a run!

Why Does Everything Cost So Much $$$

I am overwhelmed today! I need to get a lot of work done around the house. I am stressing about money and time and schedule and food (gotta get my diet under control so I don't gain all the weight back that I lost in January), basically everything. The Girl, yesterday, won first place overall award at the dance competition she was in (So Proud of her) and that gave her the opportunity to be in Nationals! However we still have to pay for it. They say here you go now you can go to Nationals and you have to pay us for it too! If she wins she earns representation by a talent agency which could get her "jobs" to make money instead of spend money with her talent, however it will be about $1000 just to send her. It is in Anaheim California so she will get to go to Disneyland so of course we have to take the Boy too. So add to it a whole family vacation, which actually would be fun. Cha Ching Cha Ching.

The Girl was even having a hard time being happy about it, knowing that the dance budget is already at it's max, so, she thinks she likely won't be able to go. She is frustrated the same way I am. The Hubs is too, there goes his car we were wanting to buy (his thought) with my going back to work earnings. He loves to be able to provide for us to do everything we want and he does a good job at it. He tends to take a back burner so everyone else can have what they want, he doesn't like to say no to us. I think he thinks that no one notices. Which the kids probably don't, they are kids. I, however, do and I want to make it easy for him to provide for us and try to be careful not to ask for too much, but when he sees that there is something I want or something that the kids could do that they would like or would be good for them he thinks he has to provide that or he wants to provide it! When your daughter is given this kind of opportunity you want to let her, she was hand picked to participate in the nationals competition. Also this year, I wanted to send the Boy to a football camp this summer that cost about $800! GAH!!!!  Why does everything that is a great opportunity for the kids cost so much? How do people do it? This is why many very talented people work in factories or don't live to their full potential. The "rich kids" get the opportunity and the normal kids have to wait to be noticed or wait for So You Think You Can Dance to come to their neck of the woods and get discovered but even then...it's really not realistic. You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, are there stories of families ending up broken, broke or bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids...I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it!

Our kids are awesome with a lot of potential! I want the to feed that potential lead to amazing things, a dance contract, a college scholarship, a job...  You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, I bet there are stories of families ending up broken, broke or even bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids... I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it! 

I know they don't need to do everything that is put in front of them and I know I get hyped up really easily. I get the "this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity we have to act now!" thing that sales people love about me and hate the Hubs. He is better at seeing through their Bullshit but he also is a nay sayer and pessimist and may over look real opportunities with his skepticism. This may very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity for The Girl, her solo is A-MAZE-ING, great choreography she has it nailed (aside form some turns and technique she needs to work on), the judges obviously loved her, she is so strong this year, some years things just click while others there is something missing...  or it may be the first of many years of her getting accolades and awards for her dance... Maybe she will get a big break that will lead to a role in the next dance based Hollywood movie! Or maybe she could just be a kid who goes to school and dances, a lot! Maybe next year will be better and then will we have to do the same stressing about money again etc...??? Does the family need to be put on hold so the dancer can dance? Is it fair to the family to make everyone else wait on what they want so she can have her opportunity? Or can we have it all? Can we find balance and do it all on our salary and with the time we have? Will this hamper the efforts of the boy in his future of sports? Can we do both? Do we have the energy? I hope we can do both, I hope we can have it all....However, I am not so sure if it is possible!

In the last year or two, I have really found my dirty sexy self. He has been enjoying the relaxed sassy sexy hot momma self that I was turning into and so was I, we still are. One day he said if "I get that from you I can deal with financial stress!" "Financial stress is so much easier to manage if I know I have that to come home to." So basically if we have swing from the chandelier sex all the time, he will overlook the financial stresses and be happier, but in reality everyone needs their escape and the reality is that sex only lasts a little while. You have to get up and do real life, which is still hard to do, day in and day out, even with great sex. There is no escape from the necessity of balance! Everyone needs balance! There is also no escape from math or bills, either. My husband works hard and gets paid very well, we have Season tickets for football, we have a very nice retirement that we pay into every month, we have a nice house, camping trailer, we buy quality things, in the words of my Father In Law "we are not standing in the cheese line" but we are not Bill Gates and there are limits to how much money we have. We used to be able to just get up and go to Vegas on a random weekend and now we have to plan and budget for it and we are "living in the moment people" and planning ahead just doesn't happen for a quick trip to Vegas. This is normal for people who go from double income no kids to single income and two kids, right... Not that it happened overnight but it seems to have caught up with us recently maybe just because the kids activities are getting more expensive and we are getting antsy for that getup and go adult only vacation that we haven't planned for but really need and or want, guess I should have thought of that before now!

So that leads me to try to do fundraisers for dance and now even for football camp so we can do it all. Fundraising for a parent only vacation tends to be frown upon (don't judge me who has not looked at a car wash and said I would wash cars for a vacation). I want to provide those things for the kids but time is of the essence. So far the Girl and I have done a few fundraisers and we maybe have brought in $200-$300 (-ish ... I do have it written down but not going to look it up right now) but we have spent more than $200-ish on those fundraisers for the products to create what we have sold. So what can we do that will make money and not cost money. What can we do that will take the time of a full time job and will not be selling trinkets that break but are still low cost enough for people to actually afford and want to purchase but not take so much time and effort to make? Is there anything that will make enough money for the kids to do themselves, they are too young for babysitting or lawn mowing... Suggestions happily accepted!

In the mean time I will work those sexual favors to help the Hubs not feel like he is working just to pay for dance! He is a great provider and I know he wants to make us all happy. If he has to say no maybe he thinks we will think he doesn't love us or doesn't want to do what we ask, but we know someone has to live in reality and when it comes to money that person is him. I know he loves me and I need to realize that he hates to say no and he will do everything to try not to, so I need to remember that when I verbalize what I want and be selective about what I ask for or even when I talk about the things I say "I want". He will try to do it no matter what.

Make sure you and you loved ones know that you love each other even in the times of stress and make sure you understand the "nos' and reasons behind them. Don't be afraid to say no and don't take it personal when the realistic person in the family says it is just not realistic for us to manage to pay for this. It is not personal, stop taking things so personal and just be honest with each other and know that you are in this whole family business thing together. Kids are only little and dependent for a short period of time! We will get our DINK life back soon enough....right ....like when I thought I would be breast feeding or blending food forever this will pass too, right?! In the meantime it is sexual favors and locked doors instead of trips to Vegas and I am OK with that as long as I get to do it with The Hubs. And we will enjoy the accolades the kids get and know there are many trips to Vegas and other destinations in the future of our life! Forever is a long time!!!  I do love my life, I should not complain I have a lot that I am thankful for, there are worse problems that I could have!

#Everyday2015

Practice What You Preach

A little late post today, we have been at Dance Convention and during lunch I decided to take the parent class instead of blogging during lunch. Which turned out to be a Musical Theater Hip Hop performing opp for us parents. As we were learning our routine today the instructor said, "here is your chance to have a moment" our kids get these moments all the time when they perform, now it was our turn. "Don't waste it" she said. It made me think, will I be able to practice what I preach and dance it out big, perform, and show up in my face they way I tell The Girl to when she is on stage.

I am always coaching up my kids. For The Girl it is about practicing the way she is going to perform. She doesn't always "perform it" in her rehearsals. She will bring it on stage though. She always steps it up a notch or two when she is in a performance. I always say, imagine what it would be like if you practiced that way, you would be through the roof!!! For The Boy it is telling him to play like he practices. Sometimes during games he holds back. I think it is because he is afraid to mess up. He won't run as fast or go as hard to "avoid" a mistake. I know all to well what that is like. So today when I was thinking of having my moment in this performance I thought "remember what you tell The Girl and do that!"

Well, in the performance I did, mostly. I knew I had to because she would be even more embarrassed and say "mom, why didn't you perform it full out" or maybe it would be a good example of what not to do, that is if she took her embarrassment hands away from her head long enough to watch. In my performance I listened to that voice that I tell The Girl. "Look like you are having fun! Be sharp, you know what you are doing! If you mess up mess up big and own it." Well, I went right instead of left put two moves in the wrong order but I shimmied and shook smiled and even added in some sassy facials to Taylor Swift's shake! It was fun, I really do love performing and being on stage and I hope people, especially The Girl and the kids in our studio, saw that. I hope the dancers from our studio lets it inspire them to smile and enjoy dancing enough to remember that voice in their performances and in turn, increase their scores!

So practice what you preach! Follow through with your own advice. Don't expect your kids to take your advice if you do not! Our kids will emulate us, sometimes out of respect and admiration and sometimes just out of habit and because of genetics. So let's not only be good role models but follow the advice we give to our kids. Let the kids see you try things and fail and see you try and succeed. Be honest about your decisions and let them lift your spirits every now and then if the "performance" wasn't your best or the "judges" didn't like it so much or things don't go you way. That is what we would do for them. We encourage them and love them in their best and worst so do that for yourself as well. Never miss an opportunity to have your "moment" and more than that, don't be afraid to go out and dance BIG! In the words of Lee Ann Womack "If you get a chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance" and better yet, do it on stage! 

#Everyday2015

BTW I need to brag The Girl did a great job this competition, her solo got a first place Platinum award and she won the title for her age group at this convention!  Yay!

Avoid the Plague of Standitis

Today I am blogging from the dance convention. At Dance conventions the dancers get a chance to take master classes and learn routines in different dance styles. Every dancer has a favorite style and also and least favorite or sometimes a hated style. My daughters least favorite would probably be tap. The noise of tap class drives me crazy even! The second class of theday was tap today. I fell in love with the tap teacher's passion for dance and teaching dance and teaching passion to these kids! His passion for tap and what I hate about it is what I fell in love with, tap is about making music with your feet. Standitis is the plague. Standitis is the opposite of dancing! It's standing and for a dancer it is what will get you over looked and never hired for a dance job or win you anything.  I LOVE THIS CONCEPT! His passion about this oozed from his being! I am not sure the 10 years olds in his class quite got it but OMG I did and the other parents I was sitting with got it!

It's about passion, what is your passion? Chances are, it is not dance. But thes kids and my daughter's, at least for today, is. She sometimes gets frustrated with dance friends who don't take things as seriously as she does. She gets frustrated with me for taking it too serious I am sure. However, oozing your passion will only take you places! Allowing Standitis to take over you will only lead you to failure! It doesn't matter what your passion is, staditis leads to failure every single time! It is a bad habit that must be broken. I think standitis is plaguing America in every areana! No one wants to harness their passion and dance it out! People are looking for a quick fix, a pill to take to fix their problems when the actual problem is standitis.

Standitis is that desire to sit or 'stand' and do nothing. That thing that keeps you hitting the snooze button in the morning. That thing that makes excuses for you when you know you need to get up and workout. It what keeps us "phoning it in" instead of showing up!

Harness your passion and use that to drive you! Sometimes as real people we don't get the oppurtuity to do what we are passionate about for a living. We have to have real jobs that kind of suck sometimes to support our lives and support our passion! But in those mundane jobs you can and must find something to be passionate about and dance it out, big! I am not passionate about doing dishes but I am pasionate about my family! So I must find a way to not have standitis and do it big! I believe it is possible. It takes jsut doing it! 

Not every dancer's passion is tap, this teacher, Jason, was teaching tap but bigger than that he was teaching passion. Giving in to standitis will not lead to a promising career in dance which some of these kids want. Nor will it lead to winning the sought after scholarship they are auditionig for. Having and showing standitis shows you are just like everyone else just going through the motions. Living with passion is dancing big and bold and smiling and putting in your all! That will win scholarships and will get you paid to do what you love.

What is your passion and are you plagued with standitis? It is easy to not have it, dancing is the absecnse of standitis. So the cure for standitis is dancing. So go, dance your passion do it big and get noticed win that promotion, the good job or whatever you are pasionate about! Live out loud! Don't let the standers around you pull you down. Ignore the chatter and the looks and do you! DO YOU, BIG!

Dance it out! Live the life you want and love and don't stand around and watch the one you don't want! Only you control you!  Now go get it, be passionate about your job, your lover and your family and show it!!!  Let no one see you standing or be able to accuse you of having standitis!

Live and dance and love out loud with passion!

#Everyday2015!

You Have To Watch The Dance!

Happy Friday! It is the first Dance Competition day of the year! Happy Competition Day! Can the Girl break the year of the 2nds and get a 1st? I think she can. Her solo is beautiful, a contemporary to a cover of Awol Nation's Sail by Lizzy Land. So today we are prepping and primping and getting stage ready! I had to iron/pressed out a costume with lots of pick ups and roushing. OMG what a pain in the ASS! But it looks so pretty now. I hated it  before I pressed it. Before the attention I gave it pressing with iron on low setting then holding it up and checking to make sure it was perfect, almost perfect anyway. It is brown and it looked like a wrinkled up paper bag but after some time and patience at the ironing board pressing and turning and spinning and smoothing out it looks so good! From drab to fab in just a swipes of the iron and time.

It is very metaphorical. To take a costume that is a silky rayon type fabric with overlays of tool and pick ups that looks all crunchy and wrinkly, like a paper lunch bag at the end of a day and make it look flowy and smooth so it will move beautifully with the dance the way it was intended. A little attention to detail armed with an iron and the costume is in it's original form of beauty, the way it was intended. We as people are the same way.

We tend to neglect each other and ourselves. We get crunchy, grumpy and bitter. Like we were packaged up in a bag to fit as small as possible so shipping charges would be minimal. We fold in as much as we can in the little time we have between work and school and taking kids to practices and rehearsals and getting groceries and cooking dinner and slamming it down our throats and off to a volunteer meeting. Most of us take little time to enjoy the good stuff, what time is there? How often do you step back to enjoy your kids in their element or you husband or wife in theirs? We balance our check books while we "watch" practice or better we fill the time by scrolling through social media. Then we wonder why the kids and husband are a bit crunchy at the end of the day...maybe it's you not them?

Can you realize that with a little attention they smooth out and look pretty. You take time on your hair so it doesn't frizz (if you are one who doesn't slow down and do so!) so why don't we take time on our relationships to smooth them out too? All it takes is attention, time and patience, there is no secret sauce or special class to take. The Hubs would say "slow down to go faster" you can't iron a roushed skirt with pick ups fast. If you do what is the point? You must slow down smooth it out and then iron it. Then move the skirt to just the right spot and iron just so. Do this with your life! Make everything in your life beautiful all it takes is attention and time and you, being present. You don't have to know how, you just have to slow down, use your instincts with the goal of making it beautiful!

You could say stop and smell the roses. I say watch the dance. We have spent the good part of the last 8 months getting ready for this day. The first competition day. Most of the work has been by the girl practicing learning choreographing the dance. But we have paid the bills, bought the costumes, pressed the costumes downloaded the music for her to practice, taken her to her rehearsals everyday and some weekends juggling it with the boy's schedule, it has been a labor for the Earl's as a whole family, not just the Girl. We have taken time to iron out all the details and made it beautiful. What we paid for, was not only dance lessons and choreography but for the opportunity to see our commitment show up on stage, and to be judged, we paid for our girl to learn dance and gain poise and personality and confidence, the most expensive show ticket ever but my mommy heart says it is worth it. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought of how beautiful she will be! We will all be proud! But it is almost meaningless if we don't stop to admire our work! We have to WATCH THE DANCE! I took a picture when I was done ironing that costume today. Sometimes you have to admire your hard work and look where you came from (I wish I took a before picture). Sometimes you have to post those pictures too! For everyone to share in your excitement and joy and pride and let your friends and support group give you the atta boys, that you most definitely deserve, and let them experience the beauty that is YOUR dance!

So today I am going to WATCH THE DANCE! I can't wait to see her on stage and hear what the judges say! I hope they love it as much as I will and I hope she knows that she is always a Titanium in my book (Titanium is the highest mark you can get, it's usually Platinum and that would be awesome to but this competition gives one higher for those scoring 98-100). I am proud for her just getting up there putting in the effort and putting up with all the ironing all the shifting stepping back and finding more wrinkles that need to be ironed out, be it practicing dance getting the right facial or her part in convincing the Hubs and I that it is worth the time effort and money from the family for her to do this, this is a family effort and it will be a family celebration.

Where does your life need attention? Are your paying attention to those details, pick out the wrinkles and iron them out. The end result is so worth the effort! Now get to ironing folks!

#Everyday2015