Childlike Excitement

Oh my word! What a Saturday today was. I had planned on getting up early, catching up on house work, publishing my blog and then tackle this busy day. Well was up a little to late last night and fell into the temptation to just sleep in until I absolutely had to get up. So I publish my blog at 9pm which is kind of fun and interestingly different perspective of my day. I kind of like it!

Today the Girl got her first Demi Point Shoes. Demi point is also sometimes called Pre-Point. It is the shoe you get when you are dancing well enough to train to be on Point. It was a very emotionally proud mommy day. I was on the verge of tears a few times. So proud of the work she has put in. So proud of the excitement and dedication she has put into her dance. She is the same little girl who loved to dance on stage on the very first performance she was in.

Her very first stage performance was with a Mommy and Me Class. The Girl was 2. We did a Freestyle Scarf Dance to My Favorite Things. The Moms were in a circle and we waved the scarves around and let the kiddos run around and wave their scarves too, they were so cute. The Girl and her Bestie in that class bumped into each other as they danced around. As everyone in the audience clapped at the finish The Girl was the last one to exit the stage because she stopped and clapped with the audience! It was so cute! Her smile and excitement was and still is contagious! We had created a monster

I hope she continues that excitement and contagious energy in everything she does. It makes me so proud to watch her grow in dance and in life! As much as I loved having babies and every stage since I am still enjoying my school age kids just as much. It is a true blessing to watch them grow and move through the stages of life! I will never be sad about it I will just enjoy the moment and cherish those memories!

Stay in your life everyone. Enjoy it as much as a child enjoys every minute. My kids are getting to the age where the innocent child like enjoyment of life starts to be altered with embarrassment and the idea of knowing someone else is watching them and they might look funny. The Girl and The Boy have both had moments where they filter their behavior because the know someone is watching them and they might be scared of what the people might think, but I still get to seethe moments they still have that childlike excitement and just live out loud like no one is watching. Those moments they are dancing like no one is watching. We should all "dance" like no one is watching! Finish your weekend (and live your life) like a child, like you don't know that anyone is watching. Enjoy, smile, laugh and be silly! Stop and clap with the audience because you are that awesome!

#Everyday2015

Why Does Everything Cost So Much $$$

I am overwhelmed today! I need to get a lot of work done around the house. I am stressing about money and time and schedule and food (gotta get my diet under control so I don't gain all the weight back that I lost in January), basically everything. The Girl, yesterday, won first place overall award at the dance competition she was in (So Proud of her) and that gave her the opportunity to be in Nationals! However we still have to pay for it. They say here you go now you can go to Nationals and you have to pay us for it too! If she wins she earns representation by a talent agency which could get her "jobs" to make money instead of spend money with her talent, however it will be about $1000 just to send her. It is in Anaheim California so she will get to go to Disneyland so of course we have to take the Boy too. So add to it a whole family vacation, which actually would be fun. Cha Ching Cha Ching.

The Girl was even having a hard time being happy about it, knowing that the dance budget is already at it's max, so, she thinks she likely won't be able to go. She is frustrated the same way I am. The Hubs is too, there goes his car we were wanting to buy (his thought) with my going back to work earnings. He loves to be able to provide for us to do everything we want and he does a good job at it. He tends to take a back burner so everyone else can have what they want, he doesn't like to say no to us. I think he thinks that no one notices. Which the kids probably don't, they are kids. I, however, do and I want to make it easy for him to provide for us and try to be careful not to ask for too much, but when he sees that there is something I want or something that the kids could do that they would like or would be good for them he thinks he has to provide that or he wants to provide it! When your daughter is given this kind of opportunity you want to let her, she was hand picked to participate in the nationals competition. Also this year, I wanted to send the Boy to a football camp this summer that cost about $800! GAH!!!!  Why does everything that is a great opportunity for the kids cost so much? How do people do it? This is why many very talented people work in factories or don't live to their full potential. The "rich kids" get the opportunity and the normal kids have to wait to be noticed or wait for So You Think You Can Dance to come to their neck of the woods and get discovered but even then...it's really not realistic. You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, are there stories of families ending up broken, broke or bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids...I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it!

Our kids are awesome with a lot of potential! I want the to feed that potential lead to amazing things, a dance contract, a college scholarship, a job...  You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, I bet there are stories of families ending up broken, broke or even bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids... I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it! 

I know they don't need to do everything that is put in front of them and I know I get hyped up really easily. I get the "this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity we have to act now!" thing that sales people love about me and hate the Hubs. He is better at seeing through their Bullshit but he also is a nay sayer and pessimist and may over look real opportunities with his skepticism. This may very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity for The Girl, her solo is A-MAZE-ING, great choreography she has it nailed (aside form some turns and technique she needs to work on), the judges obviously loved her, she is so strong this year, some years things just click while others there is something missing...  or it may be the first of many years of her getting accolades and awards for her dance... Maybe she will get a big break that will lead to a role in the next dance based Hollywood movie! Or maybe she could just be a kid who goes to school and dances, a lot! Maybe next year will be better and then will we have to do the same stressing about money again etc...??? Does the family need to be put on hold so the dancer can dance? Is it fair to the family to make everyone else wait on what they want so she can have her opportunity? Or can we have it all? Can we find balance and do it all on our salary and with the time we have? Will this hamper the efforts of the boy in his future of sports? Can we do both? Do we have the energy? I hope we can do both, I hope we can have it all....However, I am not so sure if it is possible!

In the last year or two, I have really found my dirty sexy self. He has been enjoying the relaxed sassy sexy hot momma self that I was turning into and so was I, we still are. One day he said if "I get that from you I can deal with financial stress!" "Financial stress is so much easier to manage if I know I have that to come home to." So basically if we have swing from the chandelier sex all the time, he will overlook the financial stresses and be happier, but in reality everyone needs their escape and the reality is that sex only lasts a little while. You have to get up and do real life, which is still hard to do, day in and day out, even with great sex. There is no escape from the necessity of balance! Everyone needs balance! There is also no escape from math or bills, either. My husband works hard and gets paid very well, we have Season tickets for football, we have a very nice retirement that we pay into every month, we have a nice house, camping trailer, we buy quality things, in the words of my Father In Law "we are not standing in the cheese line" but we are not Bill Gates and there are limits to how much money we have. We used to be able to just get up and go to Vegas on a random weekend and now we have to plan and budget for it and we are "living in the moment people" and planning ahead just doesn't happen for a quick trip to Vegas. This is normal for people who go from double income no kids to single income and two kids, right... Not that it happened overnight but it seems to have caught up with us recently maybe just because the kids activities are getting more expensive and we are getting antsy for that getup and go adult only vacation that we haven't planned for but really need and or want, guess I should have thought of that before now!

So that leads me to try to do fundraisers for dance and now even for football camp so we can do it all. Fundraising for a parent only vacation tends to be frown upon (don't judge me who has not looked at a car wash and said I would wash cars for a vacation). I want to provide those things for the kids but time is of the essence. So far the Girl and I have done a few fundraisers and we maybe have brought in $200-$300 (-ish ... I do have it written down but not going to look it up right now) but we have spent more than $200-ish on those fundraisers for the products to create what we have sold. So what can we do that will make money and not cost money. What can we do that will take the time of a full time job and will not be selling trinkets that break but are still low cost enough for people to actually afford and want to purchase but not take so much time and effort to make? Is there anything that will make enough money for the kids to do themselves, they are too young for babysitting or lawn mowing... Suggestions happily accepted!

In the mean time I will work those sexual favors to help the Hubs not feel like he is working just to pay for dance! He is a great provider and I know he wants to make us all happy. If he has to say no maybe he thinks we will think he doesn't love us or doesn't want to do what we ask, but we know someone has to live in reality and when it comes to money that person is him. I know he loves me and I need to realize that he hates to say no and he will do everything to try not to, so I need to remember that when I verbalize what I want and be selective about what I ask for or even when I talk about the things I say "I want". He will try to do it no matter what.

Make sure you and you loved ones know that you love each other even in the times of stress and make sure you understand the "nos' and reasons behind them. Don't be afraid to say no and don't take it personal when the realistic person in the family says it is just not realistic for us to manage to pay for this. It is not personal, stop taking things so personal and just be honest with each other and know that you are in this whole family business thing together. Kids are only little and dependent for a short period of time! We will get our DINK life back soon enough....right ....like when I thought I would be breast feeding or blending food forever this will pass too, right?! In the meantime it is sexual favors and locked doors instead of trips to Vegas and I am OK with that as long as I get to do it with The Hubs. And we will enjoy the accolades the kids get and know there are many trips to Vegas and other destinations in the future of our life! Forever is a long time!!!  I do love my life, I should not complain I have a lot that I am thankful for, there are worse problems that I could have!

#Everyday2015

15 Minute Crazy Writing: Boys Will Be Boys

Start 1:15pm:
So yesterday I wrote I want to write about crazy shit! Well today I am doing crazy shit with my writing. And that is I am trying to finish my writing in 15 minutes. Last night was The Boy's Birthday Sleepover. So that is the Crazy Shit I am writing about.

Now, I love my Boy, and the friends he had over, however I am so not made for boy sleepovers. They were crazy! Running around crazy like. Everything turned into a wrestling match. Even a soak in the Hot Tub I look out and they are tackling each other trying to hold their heads underwater. I went out and said "don't horse around" and knowing that 9 year old boys need a little more detail than that I said "No tackling or dunking" and then look out 5 minutes later and they were tackling so I go out again and they said, "we were wrestling not tackling" Oh my word.... I felt like the mom constantly telling them what not to do.

The Boy has had sleepovers before but not with more than 2 kids and usually it is with Sports team kids, and 2 out of 3 sports the Boy plays The Hubs coaches. So the kids have a little more respect and understanding, or at least they know how to listen and know what Coach expects. These boys were a bit of a challenge. Not bad kids by any means, kids who seemed to be trying the rules a little. To see how far they could go, well, in this house we have a lot of rules! We decided a long time ago that rules will stay the same whether friends are here or not! So, most friends have figured that out, but note to self, don't have a sleepover with friends who have not, or who have not been over to the house by themselves. In the future rule will be they have to have been here for a one on one sleep over first or be an extreme circumstance. That way they know what to expect and then they won't come in and try to rial up the crowd against the rules. Not that that happened on purpose it just seemed like it.

"You know what your worst enemy is, it's your big mouth" a quote I just heard over the TV, Hubs and The Boy are watching Patton. This statement is so true. The Boy and a few of his friends should have learned this by now but they are still working on it. This weekend's sleepover involved quite a few big mouths. You know the type someone who ALWAYS wins Madden at home and are good football players who have played in the past but stopped, then you realize they may have never touched a football.

It was a mini testosterone fest, basically. It reminded me of a stories from guys weekends and bachelor party repeats that I have heard. Here is one from a few years ago, now this is what I can piece together it should make for good reading but I cannot guarantee the validity or truth since I was not there and we all know how boys like to embellish stories and omit or add a few details here and there. It is pretty fair to say most testosterone fests go like this or similarities run strong at least. Friend J starts trash talking Friend K and after a few words back and forth Friend K takes it personal and gets his feelings hurt and charges Friend J and ends up crashing through the mirrored closet door of Friend J's hotel room (who btw got out of paying for it with a BS story about being drunk need to take a poop and tripping while trying to maneuver around the bed, hotel said no problem sir, we just want to make sure you are not hurt..aka they didn't want to get sued") {running out of writing time} Bottom line is, a 9 year old sleep over is nothing different from a bachelor party except there are chaperons and the 9 year old are just learning to try to find a place for their testosterone filled selves to fit in. And with that will come some growing pains and mini probably some major fights. I need to channel The Hub/s Best friend's dad who used to make the Hubs and his best friend always shake on it and be friends. Boys recover from these things pretty easy though right. Lessons learned this weekend all in all it was fun!
Time's up...now I get to spell check right?....
P.S.  I am so glad that this house will be kid free tonight We all know I need it!!!
#Everyday2015
Writing done at 1:31pm Editing done at 1:47

Be the Kind of Friend You Want to Have

It's Saturday, I am waking up on the couch. Not the way I expect this morning to go. The Boy got sick yesterday at his birthday party! They had played video games, hopped in the hot tub (as they said) ate a snack and as I was making dinner the boy ran through the kitchen to the bathroom to throw up. They had been playing video games with The Hubs, after he puked he went back out to the family room where they were playing and continued. I thought maybe an allergy or from excitement, he had no fever but then threw up again (and twice more before his friends actually left) and I decided we had to call the parents and have them pick up their boys. The Boy was not even in the mood to party he didn't even want to open presents, poor kid. . We cut the cake and let the other kids have some cake and opened presents and they left. I think he puked 10 or more times by midnight. 

The Girl had a sleepover planned with her Best friend and we had to cancel. The two girls had talked about having their first sleepover the night of the Boys party (I usually let opposite kid invite one friend over during the other siblings birthday to give them something to do to not bother the other's party). She was so disappointed, I think more than The Boy. Both of my kids are pretty good at going with the flow so The Girls reaction caught me off guard. Her and her Best friend haven't had a chance to have a sleepover yet, they decided to miss another girls birthday party for the chance to spend the night alone. So when it was canceled she was stuck by herself. There was still the party both girls could have gone to but The Girl was so upset she hadn't decided if she wanted to go until about 9pm. I told her that it was probably too late and wasn't very nice to plan not to go to a party to spend time with someone else and then when it doesn't work out decide to go all of a sudden. Maybe her other friend wouldn't mind though...

Things don't always go as planned. Having a back up plan is fine but I feel bad when it is  a person who is the back up plan. I guess it would not have been bad to let the Girl go to her friends party but I just felt that wasn't the best way to be friends. If you make other plans that don't work out how does that other person feel being the "back up friend" maybe she would have just been thankful to have seen The  Girl anyway... Everyone has plans that fall through. Sometimes you just have to deal with it and others it is fine to fall back on the back up plan. I guess it would have been fine for the girl to have gone as long as it is not the only time she spends with that friend. 

In life you have to roll with the punches. Sometimes you just have to deal with disappointment you don't always get the opportunity of a back up plan. It sucks to be the friend that everyone comes to hang out with when no one else is available, but at least you get to see the friends. I always leave invitations open. If you already have other plans when I invite I don't take it personal but I always leave the door open, if things change give me call you are more than welcome to join. But if we had plans and then something else came up and you bail on me because something more exciting comes up I may feel like I am a back up friend but be honest! It is pretty chickenshit (couldn't think of a better word) to say "oh I don't have a babysitter" and then see photos of them hanging out with someone else on Facebook or hear it from another friend. Please just be honest no reason to lie I won't take it personally and niether should you. Or the worst is when you tell Friend B that you already have plans (with Friend A) and can't go to their party and then friend A,"doesn't have a sitter" and bails on you for the Friend B party. If Friend A would have been honest all of you proabably could have spent the time together! Keep your word and be honest, that is what I am trying to teach my kids. 

I am the type of person, we are the type of household where friends are always welcome. I don't really get upset being the back up friend, I don't take it personal I am just thankful to have friends to spend time with at my house or your house or Friend B's house regardless of the original plans, usually, there are those instances I want to do what I want to do then I am on my own and we'll see you next time. It kind of goes back to the whole don't take things personal. But if I am the one you are calling when everyone else is busy but you don't keep or ever make plans with me don't expect me to be waiting for you all the time and then get mad when I am not. 

Friends are important and are always welcome! Friends are the family you choose! Just know, there is a limit to what one person can do and be there for you. There is a quote that goes something like, "don't cross oceans for someone who won't cross the street for you" Which is a good lesson to learn. With that said, however, you cannot keep score or expect you friends to be there for you as much as you are for them if you wait for them to even out the give and take you may will be disappointed. You should be the type of friend you want them to be and in the end it will may (or may not work out) but you can look into the mirror and say I am a good friend. Even when they are not there for you. One day you will need a friend and the one who is there may surprise you. Maybe you haven't always been there for them and they will out of no where step up and help you out and you will be surprised and you will probably feel bad that you haven't' been there for them but just know in the end the score doesn't matter. People and friends matter. Be the type of friend you want and you will have many friends to love and who love you.

Be the best type of friend to your spouse, don't make them the back up friend! Spend time just the two of you going out but also spend time with other friends and couples. If you are best friends with your spouse you will never feel lonely and when those "back up friends" bail on you it won't be so bad! It will give you more alone time and you know what that means with your spouse...bow chick a bow wow!

#Everyday2015