I am overwhelmed today! I need to get a lot of work done around the house. I am stressing about money and time and schedule and food (gotta get my diet under control so I don't gain all the weight back that I lost in January), basically everything. The Girl, yesterday, won first place overall award at the dance competition she was in (So Proud of her) and that gave her the opportunity to be in Nationals! However we still have to pay for it. They say here you go now you can go to Nationals and you have to pay us for it too! If she wins she earns representation by a talent agency which could get her "jobs" to make money instead of spend money with her talent, however it will be about $1000 just to send her. It is in Anaheim California so she will get to go to Disneyland so of course we have to take the Boy too. So add to it a whole family vacation, which actually would be fun. Cha Ching Cha Ching.
The Girl was even having a hard time being happy about it, knowing that the dance budget is already at it's max, so, she thinks she likely won't be able to go. She is frustrated the same way I am. The Hubs is too, there goes his car we were wanting to buy (his thought) with my going back to work earnings. He loves to be able to provide for us to do everything we want and he does a good job at it. He tends to take a back burner so everyone else can have what they want, he doesn't like to say no to us. I think he thinks that no one notices. Which the kids probably don't, they are kids. I, however, do and I want to make it easy for him to provide for us and try to be careful not to ask for too much, but when he sees that there is something I want or something that the kids could do that they would like or would be good for them he thinks he has to provide that or he wants to provide it! When your daughter is given this kind of opportunity you want to let her, she was hand picked to participate in the nationals competition. Also this year, I wanted to send the Boy to a football camp this summer that cost about $800! GAH!!!! Why does everything that is a great opportunity for the kids cost so much? How do people do it? This is why many very talented people work in factories or don't live to their full potential. The "rich kids" get the opportunity and the normal kids have to wait to be noticed or wait for So You Think You Can Dance to come to their neck of the woods and get discovered but even then...it's really not realistic. You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, are there stories of families ending up broken, broke or bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids...I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it!
Our kids are awesome with a lot of potential! I want the to feed that potential lead to amazing things, a dance contract, a college scholarship, a job... You do hear stories of parents working two jobs to pay for their kids activities. Or even being unemployed and a rich uncle pays for the kids to go to camp or some random sponsor appears and eventually that kid turns into a first round draft pick. The stories always end up on ESPN but, I bet there are stories of families ending up broken, broke or even bankrupt and kids who don't appreciate it, parents who get divorced over fighting over the money they are spending on the kids... I don't want to be that story so let's not think about it! I want my unicorns and sparkle ending where my kids gets chosen in the NFL draft and is on ESPN talking about how our family made it through that struggle and it was worth it!
I know they don't need to do everything that is put in front of them and I know I get hyped up really easily. I get the "this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity we have to act now!" thing that sales people love about me and hate the Hubs. He is better at seeing through their Bullshit but he also is a nay sayer and pessimist and may over look real opportunities with his skepticism. This may very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity for The Girl, her solo is A-MAZE-ING, great choreography she has it nailed (aside form some turns and technique she needs to work on), the judges obviously loved her, she is so strong this year, some years things just click while others there is something missing... or it may be the first of many years of her getting accolades and awards for her dance... Maybe she will get a big break that will lead to a role in the next dance based Hollywood movie! Or maybe she could just be a kid who goes to school and dances, a lot! Maybe next year will be better and then will we have to do the same stressing about money again etc...??? Does the family need to be put on hold so the dancer can dance? Is it fair to the family to make everyone else wait on what they want so she can have her opportunity? Or can we have it all? Can we find balance and do it all on our salary and with the time we have? Will this hamper the efforts of the boy in his future of sports? Can we do both? Do we have the energy? I hope we can do both, I hope we can have it all....However, I am not so sure if it is possible!
In the last year or two, I have really found my dirty sexy self. He has been enjoying the relaxed sassy sexy hot momma self that I was turning into and so was I, we still are. One day he said if "I get that from you I can deal with financial stress!" "Financial stress is so much easier to manage if I know I have that to come home to." So basically if we have swing from the chandelier sex all the time, he will overlook the financial stresses and be happier, but in reality everyone needs their escape and the reality is that sex only lasts a little while. You have to get up and do real life, which is still hard to do, day in and day out, even with great sex. There is no escape from the necessity of balance! Everyone needs balance! There is also no escape from math or bills, either. My husband works hard and gets paid very well, we have Season tickets for football, we have a very nice retirement that we pay into every month, we have a nice house, camping trailer, we buy quality things, in the words of my Father In Law "we are not standing in the cheese line" but we are not Bill Gates and there are limits to how much money we have. We used to be able to just get up and go to Vegas on a random weekend and now we have to plan and budget for it and we are "living in the moment people" and planning ahead just doesn't happen for a quick trip to Vegas. This is normal for people who go from double income no kids to single income and two kids, right... Not that it happened overnight but it seems to have caught up with us recently maybe just because the kids activities are getting more expensive and we are getting antsy for that getup and go adult only vacation that we haven't planned for but really need and or want, guess I should have thought of that before now!
So that leads me to try to do fundraisers for dance and now even for football camp so we can do it all. Fundraising for a parent only vacation tends to be frown upon (don't judge me who has not looked at a car wash and said I would wash cars for a vacation). I want to provide those things for the kids but time is of the essence. So far the Girl and I have done a few fundraisers and we maybe have brought in $200-$300 (-ish ... I do have it written down but not going to look it up right now) but we have spent more than $200-ish on those fundraisers for the products to create what we have sold. So what can we do that will make money and not cost money. What can we do that will take the time of a full time job and will not be selling trinkets that break but are still low cost enough for people to actually afford and want to purchase but not take so much time and effort to make? Is there anything that will make enough money for the kids to do themselves, they are too young for babysitting or lawn mowing... Suggestions happily accepted!
In the mean time I will work those sexual favors to help the Hubs not feel like he is working just to pay for dance! He is a great provider and I know he wants to make us all happy. If he has to say no maybe he thinks we will think he doesn't love us or doesn't want to do what we ask, but we know someone has to live in reality and when it comes to money that person is him. I know he loves me and I need to realize that he hates to say no and he will do everything to try not to, so I need to remember that when I verbalize what I want and be selective about what I ask for or even when I talk about the things I say "I want". He will try to do it no matter what.
Make sure you and you loved ones know that you love each other even in the times of stress and make sure you understand the "nos' and reasons behind them. Don't be afraid to say no and don't take it personal when the realistic person in the family says it is just not realistic for us to manage to pay for this. It is not personal, stop taking things so personal and just be honest with each other and know that you are in this whole family business thing together. Kids are only little and dependent for a short period of time! We will get our DINK life back soon enough....right ....like when I thought I would be breast feeding or blending food forever this will pass too, right?! In the meantime it is sexual favors and locked doors instead of trips to Vegas and I am OK with that as long as I get to do it with The Hubs. And we will enjoy the accolades the kids get and know there are many trips to Vegas and other destinations in the future of our life! Forever is a long time!!! I do love my life, I should not complain I have a lot that I am thankful for, there are worse problems that I could have!
#Everyday2015
